Serious My entire life has been a massive “I don’t know”

[VλREN]

I swear that I never had any dreams growing up, I didn’t really understand the concept of a future self and I didn’t really care.

You’d ask me “hey 11 year old @VλREN who do you want to be when you grow up?” I’d tell you “I don’t know”
there it is…..my entire life. A big fat fucking “I don’t know”

Kids in school would be like “Erm I wanna go to the elite snobby kikeberg university and get a degree in whatever the fuck allows me to status and money mog people” meanwhile I just wanted to go home and fuck around with my legos.

Hell I don’t think I even realized that by being in school I was able to be around people my age, yeah I hated it and I was at a disadvantage because I was sub five but nowadays I am literally around nobody. The only other people I encounter are the people that I walk past in public, that’s literally it.

Hell back when I was working I could have talked to my coworkers but I just got addicted to being quiet and minding my own business and eventually it was just too late because I was already known as the quiet guy.

Now? Now there’s literally nobody to even talk to

You guys are the only other people I have communication with Besides my mom. Speaking of my mom I don’t even have conversations with her it’s just talking about the dumbass dog or what where going to have for dinner or something. Also Haven’t spoken to my brother on the phone in months.

I don’t think I had any understanding of a future me, I am the same way now as a 23 year old NEET. I never changed tbh. I got just more addicted to mental poison and self destructive behaviors.

My entire life is one big “I don’t fucking know”

 

[VλREN]

Piss on the floor slip in it and break your neck

 

[VλREN]

Piss on the floor slip in it and break your neck

If you break your neck don’t sue me btw

 

[UndeadDeadMan]

I realized a while ago, why I went into CS and Information Technology (despite not really knowing what to do in the future when I was a kid).

It's because I couldn't do anything else due to undiagnosed illnesses. I couldn't do physically demanding jobs, and I couldn't do customer-facing jobs like PR due to being short and ugly. So I got cornered into being a STEMfag by reality itself. Within STEM, I was always horrible at maths, so forget about adjacent subjects like Chemistry. Between Biology and IT, I chose IT because of money.

That's it. Just a chain of cause and effect where everything happens automatically. What a pathetic and wasteful life.

 

[VλREN]

I realized a while ago, why I went into CS and Information Technology (despite not really knowing what to do in the future when I was a kid).

It's because I couldn't do anything else due to undiagnosed illnesses. I couldn't do physically demanding jobs, and I couldn't do customer-facing jobs like PR due to being short and ugly. So I got cornered into being a STEMfag by reality itself. Within STEM, I was always horrible at maths, so forget about adjacent subjects like Chemistry. Between Biology and IT, I chose IT because of money.

That's it. Just a chain of cause and effect where everything happens automatically. What a pathetic and wasteful life.

What the hell even is a “STEM”?

Like I here normies mention it a lot, actually I’ll just look it up or something

 

[UndeadDeadMan]

My life is just an endless minecart level from Donkey Kong Country, and I keep falling from the rails, but get respawned at the beginning of the track. I fucking hate everything.

 

[VλREN]

It’s 2:48AM and I wanna go for a walk but the last few nights I had a drugged out homeless dude cross the street and start walking towards me and I also had some wigger almost crash his bike into me and he started cursing me out.

Man this sucks

 

[UndeadDeadMan]

What the hell even is a “STEM”?

Like I here normies mention it a lot, actually I’ll just look it up or something

Science Technology Engineering Maths - the initials that make up STEM. It's basically where all the nerds and autists end up (if they even get there in the first place).

This is highly contrasted by other areas like Arts and Humanities, and Corporate Management/Sales. People on those sides of town are on average more attractive and neurotypical.

 

[VλREN]

My life is just an endless minecart level from Donkey Kong Country, and I keep falling from the rails, but get respawned at the beginning of the track. I fucking hate everything.

My life is literally to boring to describe

 

[VλREN]

Science Technology Engineering Maths - the initials that make up STEM. It's basically where all the nerds and autists end up (if they even get there in the first place).

This is highly contrasted by other areas like Arts and Humanities, and Corporate Management/Sales. People on those sides of town are on average more attractive and neurotypical.

I’d be lucky to even get a job at tacobell at this point

 

[VλREN]

Ehh am going to go for a short walk

 

[TheFinalFrontier]

Time passes and passes ever on. If it was a video game atleast I could load the last save and do it right. But nah, you can't do it. Misery and loneliness. they accompany you every where you go.

 

[nihilum]

Ehh am going to go for a short walk

 

[anon]

I didn’t really understand the concept of a future self and I didn’t really care.

I can 100% relate to this. The worst thing is, I could see everyone around me worrying about their future, doing well in school and actually giving a fuck and I just couldn't understand what the big deal was. I couldn't fathom caring about stupid "adult" shit like that, I just wanted to do whatever and be a kid.

You’d ask me “hey 11 year old @

@VλREN who do you want to be when you grow up?” I’d tell you “I don’t know”

Yup. I just didn't care, at all. Not much has changed for me. I still just want to do whatever feels good (vidya, browsing, youtube), and I don't care about anything else.

I just wanted to go home and fuck around with my legos.

Same. I was just going through the motions. I've never actually seriously studied in my life. I was a terrible student, and I still am (failing college for the 3rd time.) I can't study for more than 20 minutes at a time, I just don't care enough.
I'm in college because that's what my parents want for me, but I don't actually care and I know I'll never graduate. I know I'm a piece of shit, and my parents are too patient with me.

it was just too late because I was already known as the quiet guy.

This always happens to me when I'm in a new class or job. I even tell myself beforehand it'll be different this time and that I'll actually try and be amicable and sociable, but I always default back to my usual self which is being grumpy and quiet.

I don’t think I had any understanding of a future me, I am the same way now as a 23 year old NEET. I never changed tbh. I got just more addicted to mental poison and self destructive behaviors.

I think it's a combination of mental illness, being coddled and just shitty parenting in general, and of course being sub5 and weird-looking. I've never had to face any real hardships in life when it comes to finances and other adult stuff.
Still, even as a kid I just didn't care at all, but I come from a middle class family so like I said, no real hardships to speak of.

 

[kapri]

Same.
The only thing I knew was this isn't it.

 

[BricABrac]

One of the things I have realized I envy most is passion, interest, what I call thymos.

I just don't give a shit about anything. It's always, like you, "I don't know. I don't care. Whatever"
Never had a "dream job" or a real life plan. Can't stick to hobbies, even lazy/easy ones.

It's like I'm a guest in my own house, a background character in my own life.