I am not against homeschooling in itself, I've seen rich upper middle class types do it for their kids who were athletes or ballet dancers or wanted them to be "unschooled" and enroll them in a Montessori program or some other bougie shit, but most homeschooling parents I've seen do it because they're fucking religious weirdos and then they also turn their kids into weirdos.
I wasn't homeschooled though my mom was hyperreligious and weird, thank fucking god, my mom has no ability to even be a basic parent let alone teach kids. She would've drowned me in the bathtub as a 4 year old or some shit. School was an oasis for me, I went to a jewish nerdy school so I didn't get bullied or picked on despite being really fucking weird and deprived (dirty hair, acne, crooked skin, short and skinny, pale and unathletic, barely passing classes, sleeping in class because mom would wake me up at 2am and keep me up at night trying to pray for the rapture). Mom even made me preach to my friends and would make me cry by telling me that my non-christians are going to hell if I dont convert them and that it's my fault for not saving them, then I would lose my friends of course JFL. I even tried to covert a jewish friend thinking he is gonna go to hell and then everyone thought i was an antisemite at school and I didn't even know that until like 10 years later that the jewish kids thought I hated them lmao. My mom didn't want me to have any friends except the church kids, some were okay but there were a lot of weirdos there as well. Eventually at age 13 I stopped telling my mom about my friends or bringing them over, and that's when I started keeping friends and my mom would go apeshit because I don't tell her anything or give her ammo to use, so she got my brother to install spyware on my computer and would hack into my computer and even secretly record me. I think two years ago when I visited Korea where my brother knocked up a girl, my sister started secretly recording me in the guest room where I was staying. But yeah I started saving money secretly starting at 15 and once I hit 18, my friends helped me run away to california by keeping my luggages in their homes and then driving me to the airport to fly out to california (I didnt learn to drive until I was like 21 and paid out of pocket for driving school).
Mom used to be really obsessed with prophecies and the end times. I remember when I was 14 being pulled out of school along with the rest of the siblings because my mom heard rumors among the "prophets" at the local megachurch (cult) that the country is going to get nuked, and we hid in the woods for like 2 weeks. I didn't understand how fucked that was as a kid and enjoyed being out in the woods in the quiet nature, watching Naruto with my brother on the laptop while waiting for the world to blow up, it's very surreal looking back as an adult but I also realize just how fucked that was. I also had a fish tank when I was 14 that I had to leave behind, and after the 2 weeks I had to come back to a tank full of dead fish sitting there for like 2 weeks and a lot of the fish have eaten eachother, bloated smelly dead bodies, and I had to clean that out by myself at 14 due to my mom's fuckery while she just went on like nothing happen. She also used to bring in these "prophet" ladies from church who would shriek and speak in tongues while shaking and having seizures and they put me in a room on the ground and would press their hands on me and not let me get up and they speak in tongues for like a whole fucking hour to exorcize me, and tried to make me speak in tongue too. They just said "say Hallelujah very fast repeatedly and you'll start speaking in tongues"... such bullshit.
That on top of physical abuse, psychological abuse, lack of medical care (no insurance or taking me to the doctor at all), sleep deprivation, junk food diet, bla bla bla. I was always small and short for my age and my dad would laugh at me and talk about doing growth hormone shots for me, but never went through with it, just resorted to laughing at me all the time and making fun of my height, and then telling me that I am ugly because I look like mom while my siblings are attractive because they look like him.
My siblings are 38 and 40, and none of them married either. My sister is a virgin at 38 despite being normal looking and only had one boyfriend who she never slept with, she's a raging bitch who tried to push me to kill myself and called cops on me accusing me of drug dealing, called my workplace trying to get me fired. She gets jealous and pissy over the female cousins who put out and whored around but they're married now, while she is the good religious girl who still can't find a man and she gets in fights with people in proximity. My brother never had a job at 40 and still lives with our parents, and lost his virginity at 26 according to his baby mama who I had some correspondence with when he abandoned her and my niece. This is the result of a fucked up hyperreligious upbringing. Both my siblings apparently still get into screaming matches with our parents while I am completely checked out of the family.
I don't know what advice to give you honestly, I am still struggling myself even though I am much better off than I should be and it's a miracle I am not broke, on drugs, completely fucked. But you're not alone homie, be gentle with yourself and don't blame yourself. The older I get the more I realize I really didn't have a chance to be normal and its not due to "lack of personal accountability" or some victim blaming bullshit, and the more I am at peace instead of asking "what's wrong with me and why didn't I do this or that, and if only I could've just..."
Anyone who claims that modern christianity is muh based patriarchy will have a stern talking-to from me on the nature of these demonic witches.
