Social isolation paired with mental issues has left a permanent scar on my mind, Every did I have to deal with my mind finding ways to torture me with it's thought pattern focusing it's self on the minute details of everything being bothered by things that things that will never be perfect for not being perfect. I mind also reminds of me of the man I will never get to be and memories will forever be tainted with things that I want to forget about.
There is not a single piece of medicine that can change the way my mind works now, every pill I've tried either does nothing to help me or makes things way worse then they are now, even if they did work as intended they'd only be turning me into a mindless zombie who can't even think for himself. There is no cure for the OCD that haunts my mind.
Talk therapy will not work either, it didn't work then and it won't work now. There is no way to talk my brain into working like normal person's brain and anyone who believes so is an idiot. So many people believe therapy to be some kind of magic cure all that with the right pills and the right person you cure any mental aliment but that idea is the furthest thing from the truth.
You can only learn how manage it but i don't want to just manage it, I want to think normally again. I try my best every single day to just deal with it and it's never enough it always ends up getting to me making my life worse then it already is, Maybe if I was living in better conditions i would be able to deal with it but i'm not and i never will be. I never have a girlfriend to comfort me in times of need and I'll never have the wealth I need to manage such an illness.
There is not a single piece of medicine that can change the way my mind works now, every pill I've tried either does nothing to help me or makes things way worse then they are now, even if they did work as intended they'd only be turning me into a mindless zombie who can't even think for himself. There is no cure for the OCD that haunts my mind.
Talk therapy will not work either, it didn't work then and it won't work now. There is no way to talk my brain into working like normal person's brain and anyone who believes so is an idiot. So many people believe therapy to be some kind of magic cure all that with the right pills and the right person you cure any mental aliment but that idea is the furthest thing from the truth.
You can only learn how manage it but i don't want to just manage it, I want to think normally again. I try my best every single day to just deal with it and it's never enough it always ends up getting to me making my life worse then it already is, Maybe if I was living in better conditions i would be able to deal with it but i'm not and i never will be. I never have a girlfriend to comfort me in times of need and I'll never have the wealth I need to manage such an illness.
