My brain is a prison, and my existence is torture.

[Deleted member 27249]

I have talked about not being able to tell the difference between reality and my dreams here before. It's Manifested itself into full blown paranoia. Most of the time I don't know if I actually did something, or if I only thought about doing it. I don't exist on this plane, I exist only in my thoughts, here I am on autopilot. It made me develop this very necessary habit of having to double check everything 10 times or else I will always make a mistake. I have to lock my car 10 times, and even then I still get paranoid and walk back to make sure I locked it. And sometimes it turns out that I didn't. Because I just thought about locking it before exiting and then walked away while my train of thought marching on unaware. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone. I can't sleep before checking the lights are off in my house. I get up from bed like 4 times to go check something I just checked. I can't even tell if I just got up or not. I have to check everything is in place a 100 times, wallet and keys have a constant check-up every 10 minutes. All while over thinking every little detail, my thoughts a mix of fantasy, worries, and anxiousness. Day dreams so pathetic that I have to make them seem half real.
It's torture being me.

 

[waste matter]

We might not be behind physical tangible bars but we're still in our prison which that is Genetic Prison.

 

[ThoughtfulCel]

Existence is suffering.

I often find myself thinking of the future.

Watching my body slowly degrade from its once youthful prime.

Watching my family who i love so dear grow old and die.

Working every single day, 40 hours week, making someone else money. (remote work, gorilla)

Not knowing whats after death or if i'll ever see my family again after they're gone.

Not knowing if anything else lies after this life or if its just an endless void.

I often wonder with so many galaxys in the universe, with such a vast amount of space thats incomprehensible to our mere minds, if its possible this was all an accident.

By this i mean consciousness and existence itself.

 

[Izayacel]

Self awareness and overthought / not knowing how thinks work in this shithole. We are not given the things, we desire most. Or come easy.

 

[Deleted member 27249]

Existence is suffering.

I often find myself thinking of the future.

Watching my body slowly degrade from its once youthful prime.

Watching my family who i love so dear grow old and die.

Working every single day, 40 hours week, making someone else money. (remote work, gorilla)

Not knowing whats after death or if i'll ever see my family again after they're gone.

Not knowing if anything else lies after this life or if its just an endless void.

I often wonder with so many galaxys in the universe, with such a vast amount of space thats incomprehensible to our mere minds, if its possible this was all an accident.

By this i mean consciousness and existence itself.

View attachment 417364

I also get depressed thinking of my body's decay. I was never good looking but at least I once looked boyish and people used to give me the benefit of the doubt. When I had a full head of hair and skin that hasn't dried out. Now My hair is lost, my teeth are decaying, and I wake up everyday with neck pain/migraines due to phone posture. I don't think of the future often, I always imagine I'm going to die this week. Which is oddly my only comforting thought. It's like I lie to myself that I don't have to worry because I'm going to die.

 

[_realist_]

Time draws out like a blade.

 

[NobuNagahirohichi]

Fucking normalfag car owner. You deserve to suffer

 

[_realist_]

Fucking normalfag car owner. You deserve to suffer

I promise to revisit their corpses until they putrefy.

 

[Deleted member 33091]

Fucking normalfag car owner. You deserve to suffer

Found the wizchan poster.

 

[ThoughtfulCel]

I also get depressed thinking of my body's decay. I was never good looking but at least I once looked boyish and people used to give me the benefit of the doubt. When I had a full head of hair and skin that hasn't dried out. Now My hair is lost, my teeth are decaying, and I wake up everyday with neck pain/migraines due to phone posture. I don't think of the future often, I always imagine I'm going to die this week. Which is oddly my only comforting thought. It's like I lie to myself that I don't have to worry because I'm going to die.

I also find it comforting thinking about death, or rather just not existing on earth any longer

I like to fantasize about the after life a lot. I have this recent cope I think about that basically is just a shitty after life theory.

My theory is that whatever we believe in after we die becomes our fate.

Atheists get their wish to no longer exist. People of whatever religion get their desired after life with their desired creator, etc.

I know its a cope, but still. In my theory everyone wins.

 

[Deleted member 27161]

Fuck this life tbh. My rope has been waiting for me for far too long.

 

[Deleted member 27249]

Fucking normalfag car owner. You deserve to suffer

You pour your heart out, and this is the response from retarded GrAYcels. smfh

 

[Deleted member 30682]

I try to focus on my hatred and "idgaf attitude" to cope with the suffering but sometimes I'm just not able to ignore the pain and I break. It's hard to keep your shit together when you're living in a place that has been specifically designed for you to suffer. We are indeed living in hell. That's the reason why most people blind themselves with irrational delusions and refuse to open their eyes to the truth cuz they know they would go insane if they did (and a lot of those people don't even have it as hard as us)

 

[Deleted member 27249]

I try to focus on my hatred and "idgaf attitude" to cope with the suffering but sometimes I'm just not able to ignore the pain and I break. It's hard to keep your shit together when you're living in a place that has been specifically designed for you to suffer. We are indeed living in hell. That's the reason why most people blind themselves with irrational delusions and refuse to open their eyes to the truth cuz they know they would go insane if they did (and a lot of those people don't even have it as hard as us)

Hatred and negative emotions in general can be theraputic ngl

 

[Deleted member 30682]

Hatred and negative emotions in general can be theraputic ngl

It's better than depression.

 

[Dregster]

Fucking normalfag car owner. You deserve to suffer

You pour your heart out, and this is the response from retarded GrAYcels. smfh

 

[Deleted member 1039]

Time to drop the distractions and start meditating so you can be in the present moment. Start with focusing on your breathing and cutting out the daydreaming.

 

[InMyCellInHell]

You pour your heart out, and this is the response from retarded GrAYcels. smfh

This is why we lose more and more decent posters. Dumb shit like what you quoted.

 

[Deleted member 23712]

I have talked about not being able to tell the difference between reality and my dreams here before. It's Manifested itself into full blown paranoia. Most of the time I don't know if I actually did something, or if I only thought about doing it. I don't exist on this plane, I exist only in my thoughts, here I am on autopilot. It made me develop this very necessary habit of having to double check everything 10 times or else I will always make a mistake. I have to lock my car 10 times, and even then I still get paranoid and walk back to make sure I locked it. And sometimes it turns out that I didn't. Because I just thought about locking it before exiting and then walked away while my train of thought marching on unaware. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone. I can't sleep before checking the lights are off in my house. I get up from bed like 4 times to go check something I just checked. I can't even tell if I just got up or not. I have to check everything is in place a 100 times, wallet and keys have a constant check-up every 10 minutes. All while over thinking every little detail, my thoughts a mix of fantasy, worries, and anxiousness. Day dreams so pathetic that I have to make them seem half real.
It's torture being me.

That’s brootal dood

 

[ElliotRodgerHere]

I would be more sympathetic if you werent so retarded

 

[Deleted member 27249]

I would be more sympathetic if you werent so retarded

Who said I wanted your sympathy?

 

[incelerated]

I'm sorry bro that's really brutal. Maybe you have OCD?

 

[Deleted member 27249]

I'm sorry bro that's really brutal. Maybe you have OCD?

I don't think so, most of this developed in the last few years. I just think it's a resault of zoning out and being disconnected

 

[Emba]

I really like yer car stereo...

 

[incelerated]

I don't think so, most of this developed in the last few years. I just think it's a resault of zoning out and being disconnected

I hope you get better my bro. Maybe see a doctor. I know it might sound stupid but that's the best advice I can give.

 

[FlamingCel]

We r in prison

 

[TallCelFag]

I need to be around some friendly people... Been isolated in this life for far too long.

 

[sadboyo123]

Muhammed.

 

[CrackingYs]

Your brain might be floating in a vat of fluid with electrical circuits feeding you the signals that we call reality.