Deleted member 27249
Full time... Winner? I'm undefeated
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- Joined
- Jun 29, 2020
- Posts
- 24,480
I have talked about not being able to tell the difference between reality and my dreams here before. It's Manifested itself into full blown paranoia. Most of the time I don't know if I actually did something, or if I only thought about doing it. I don't exist on this plane, I exist only in my thoughts, here I am on autopilot. It made me develop this very necessary habit of having to double check everything 10 times or else I will always make a mistake. I have to lock my car 10 times, and even then I still get paranoid and walk back to make sure I locked it. And sometimes it turns out that I didn't. Because I just thought about locking it before exiting and then walked away while my train of thought marching on unaware. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone. I can't sleep before checking the lights are off in my house. I get up from bed like 4 times to go check something I just checked. I can't even tell if I just got up or not. I have to check everything is in place a 100 times, wallet and keys have a constant check-up every 10 minutes. All while over thinking every little detail, my thoughts a mix of fantasy, worries, and anxiousness. Day dreams so pathetic that I have to make them seem half real.
It's torture being me.
It's torture being me.