I am fucking astonished by how fucked everything is for me. I walk outside to take the trash out with my mother because there was some police chase on my fucking street and I wanted to make sure this car that the suspect abandoned didn’t hit my parked car in the process, and as for my mother she’s nosy when it comes to anything with police because our neighborhood is so fucking boring.
Anyway we’re standing in the street looking at a line of cop cars with police everywhere because we have nothing better to do and this beautiful young foid walks up with her dog. She had blonde hair, blue eyes, and she just casually makes small talk about with my mother, I guess because she was curious about what was happening as well.
So this beautiful young woman only a couple of years older than myself is laughing and talking with my mother like I’m not even there, and meanwhile I’m standing there like a retard feeling like I have to throw up and shit my pants at the same time. Part of me was praying to God up above that this would be the one opportunity I have for a girl to show a shred of interest in me and for me to somehow see that I’m not an incel and it’s not over, but that didn’t happen.
If anything the more she glanced at me the quieter she became until she just walked away. She only said goodbye to my mother and said nothing to me. If I tried getting a word in during that conversation I was shut out of it, it was absolutely humiliating. Seeing a girl around my age range who I know despises me while I am desperate for her, casually talking to my mother like it’s no big deal feels like a personal attack and a mockery of my loneliness.
I know it’s devastatingly over because all it took was standing near a woman making small talk with my mother to send me off the deep end and make me want to fucking kill myself. When we finally went inside I argued with my mom because all I was trying to tell her is how worthless and lonely I feel, and how I’ll never be enough for a woman. Of course her mind is in another dimension just like the parents of anyone on this forum and the gaslight was turned up to the max.
I want to fucking cry, and also throw something. I want to smoke myself until I die of fucking cancer and if God exists and truly allows that to happen then my life is genuinely one big disaster of a joke. I felt the same way in front of that foid that I did in front of my first love when she rejected me: small, insignificant, quiet, scared, and humiliated. Women have only ever made me feel like a bug in this horrible world.
Fuck women and fuck everything that caused them to exist. I’m talking to the single celled organism, motherfucker.
Anyway we’re standing in the street looking at a line of cop cars with police everywhere because we have nothing better to do and this beautiful young foid walks up with her dog. She had blonde hair, blue eyes, and she just casually makes small talk about with my mother, I guess because she was curious about what was happening as well.
So this beautiful young woman only a couple of years older than myself is laughing and talking with my mother like I’m not even there, and meanwhile I’m standing there like a retard feeling like I have to throw up and shit my pants at the same time. Part of me was praying to God up above that this would be the one opportunity I have for a girl to show a shred of interest in me and for me to somehow see that I’m not an incel and it’s not over, but that didn’t happen.
If anything the more she glanced at me the quieter she became until she just walked away. She only said goodbye to my mother and said nothing to me. If I tried getting a word in during that conversation I was shut out of it, it was absolutely humiliating. Seeing a girl around my age range who I know despises me while I am desperate for her, casually talking to my mother like it’s no big deal feels like a personal attack and a mockery of my loneliness.
I know it’s devastatingly over because all it took was standing near a woman making small talk with my mother to send me off the deep end and make me want to fucking kill myself. When we finally went inside I argued with my mom because all I was trying to tell her is how worthless and lonely I feel, and how I’ll never be enough for a woman. Of course her mind is in another dimension just like the parents of anyone on this forum and the gaslight was turned up to the max.
I want to fucking cry, and also throw something. I want to smoke myself until I die of fucking cancer and if God exists and truly allows that to happen then my life is genuinely one big disaster of a joke. I felt the same way in front of that foid that I did in front of my first love when she rejected me: small, insignificant, quiet, scared, and humiliated. Women have only ever made me feel like a bug in this horrible world.
Fuck women and fuck everything that caused them to exist. I’m talking to the single celled organism, motherfucker.
