Monday working from home

[The Wolf]

I know that's weird but I can't concentrate at all on Mondays. I'm already worried about Tuesday-Thursday.

Have to travel there tomorrow early in the morning, then sleep there for 2 nights then home on Thursday evening. I have to be there 3x per week, 43 hours of work.

Friday I can also work from home. This is an internship and I have special accommodations due to my autism and social anxiety. I think they understand, considering how I look and my disability (I heard random strangers say, I think he's retarded/disabled and I didn't even do anything). Also my relationship with my parents is getting worse and worse, especially today. I'm just living for the sake of not dying, for the sake of working and surviving.

I am dependent financially on my shitty dad for the tiny room I'm staying at for work. The internship doesn't pay enough. The cycle will continue on and on.

My blood pressure and seizure meds fuck me up too, so does my depression. I'm 29 now. It will be like this for the rest of my life.

 

[grimlockcel]

A remote job is an incels dream

 

[The Death Devil]

A remote job is an incels dream

True, but he only has it for a day.

 

[The Wolf]

True, but he only has it for a day.

2 days, Monday and Friday. Sorry, I wasn't very clear I know. Friday working I can do much better.

But only have it bc my parents know the boss and explained I have social anxiety. 9 other people work at the office, it's much better than a huge office. I also have my own room but only bc someone left. The table opposite it free.

 

[The Wolf]

A remote job is an incels dream

I wish I had a fully remote job.

 

[PolnischeKartoffel]

Mogs me

 

[The Wolf]

Mogs me

It doesn't make up for the fact that I'm only 5'4"/1.62m , white in a white country, and have a deformed face, so people stare at me curiously.

 

[VanGobbel]

Also my relationship with my parents is getting worse and worse, especially today

Why bro, aren't they happy that you're working at least?

 

[The Wolf]

Why bro, aren't they happy that you're working at least?

That yes, but I'm a pretty shitty son in many ways. Would take long to explain. Especially towards my mom.
My social anxiety is the root cause of lots of these things I do and don't do. She does a lot for me, literally goes buy me clothes bc of my extreme anxiety (in my defense, due to my deformities, is it understandable I have anxiety?). Also groceries. I can't really correct the things I've done and not done, also my character is pretty bad, it's been like this for years. I like Fridays the best, by far, even better than Saturday, bc Tuesday is farther away. Thursday is also good except the train ride home, people aren't nice to me. My dad doesn't live here anymore but he still hates me and vice versa. Is it understandable I have social anxiety you think?

 

[PolnischeKartoffel]

It doesn't make up for the fact that I'm only 5'4"/1.62m , white in a white country, and have a deformed face, so people stare at me curiously.

Did you have to finish college to have that office job with remote hours?

Unfortunately I have to do that and only 8 (5) months of slaughter left

 

[The Wolf]

Did you have to finish college to have that office job with remote hours?

Yes. It's a 43 hour work week, but I have to be in the office 8.5 hours per day + 30 minutes for lunch break (so 9 hours) when I'm there. I also need financial support from my parents bc it pays so little. I feel kind of bad for having 2 days. But I'd rather have no remote days and instead actually look normal. I really stand out when I'm among people.

Unfortunately I have to do that and only 8 (5) months of slaughter left

Hopefully it goes over quickly for you.

 

[VanGobbel]

That yes, but I'm a pretty shitty son in many ways. Would take long to explain. Especially towards my mom.
My social anxiety is the root cause of lots of these things I do and don't do. She does a lot for me, literally goes buy me clothes bc of my extreme anxiety (in my defense, due to my deformities, is it understandable I have anxiety?). Also groceries. I can't really correct the things I've done and not done, also my character is pretty bad, it's been like this for years. I like Fridays the best, by far, even better than Saturday, bc Tuesday is farther away. Thursday is also good except the train ride home, people aren't nice to me. My dad doesn't live here anymore but he still hates me and vice versa. Is it understandable I have social anxiety you think?

Your mom seems very caring tbh, especially when you told us she even got you dumbells, she really wants to see you improve in any way I think.

Yeah relations with my dad is bad too, I think this goes for most incels bro, fathers would like see their sons be succesfull in life, when that doesn't look that way its a poor reflection on themselves so they develop a form of hatred/detestment against us...this is our reality

 

[poorenglishcel]

How hard is the office job? Does it require a lot of thinking or just repetitive boring stuff? I am curious since i would have to be wagie too in a year or two

I'm a pretty shitty son in many ways

Is it understandable I have social anxiety you think?

Brocel you aren't a shitty son. I can understand how you feel. I feel so worthless and a burden to my family too. They care a lot about me but i feel i don't reciprocate that feeling equally. But that's the thing feeling like you or me are bad doesn't actually mean me are. Us having a negative opinion abour ourselves probably have to do with having low self-esteem because we aren't treated fairly. You are not the bad guy here. You are just the victim. It's totally understandable why you hate going outside. Normies would break even before they experience 1% of what you have.

Also i know you probably would have answered this question a 100 times but can't you apply for NEETbux in germany since you have autism?

 

[The Wolf]

How hard is the office job? Does it require a lot of thinking or just repetitive boring stuff? I am curious since i would have to be wagie too in a year or two

I have loads of tasks. One job I could only do there was load documents on 400 memory sticks. Another is looking for information online and entering them in Excel table. Another one is making an excel with names and emails for newsletter, still have to do that. Another one is basically going through thousands of summaries of academic papers and deciding if they are relevant to the office to use or not. I can just enter it into a few AI's.

One nice thing is that the office only has 9 other people, and by great luck, I have my own room. I guess until they hire someone new.

Brocel you aren't a shitty son. I can understand how you feel. I feel so worthless and a burden to my family too. They care a lot about me but i feel i don't reciprocate that feeling equally.

Thank you brotha. You seem like a decent guy. The thing is, my mom has always done everything for me, including buying me clothes (not even horrible ones) and groceries. I knew she likes bread in the morning but I didn't get her any. Would have taken me 10 minutes and she is sick today.

But that's the thing feeling like you or me are bad doesn't actually mean me are. Us having a negative opinion abour ourselves probably have to do with having low self-esteem because we aren't treated fairly. You are not the bad guy here. You are just the victim. It's totally understandable why you hate going outside. Normies would break even before they experience 1% of what you have.

That makes sense, thanks.

Also i know you probably would have answered this question a 100 times but can't you apply for NEETbux in germany since you have autism?

It's fine haha. The thing is mainly my parents, and my autism not being bad enough (as my doctor claims, but is he right?). I took about 10 online autism tests (of course most are not that accurate, probably), and most said I have extreme autism. I have many of the signs. I have high functioning autism, although my meds do pull me down mentally and physically (extreme tiredness, can't take in the evening because I need to take other medication that can really only be taken at night). My parents say I'm 29 and if I don't have a job now I'm "done for" for life. I am dependent on them, especially my mom. I'm also really used to the house I live in, I still live in my childhood bedroom. They would kick me out if I took NEETbux. I have to explore my options now. For now I have to finish the year on this internship, as my contract says. It would be 100x better if I could just cycle there, instead of having to rent a room there during the week and travel there 7 AM on Tuesday morning by 2 trains, then same thing home again on Thursday.

 

[The Wolf]

How hard is the office job? Does it require a lot of thinking or just repetitive boring stuff? I am curious since i would have to be wagie too in a year or two

I think it is a mix due to my depression and also my medications, but I couldn't do a job requiring much thinking, or stuff like coding. I learn extremely slowly, if at all. I am trying really hard though. What is definitely possible in my next job is that I can be sick for 3-4 months with pay due to mental problems and they can't record it anywhere.

 

[xek000000kk]

A remote job is an incels dream

 

[Multicell]

Normies would break even before they experience 1%
You are not the bad guy here.