If you remember last time, I was talking about telling my mom I want to rope and she panicked and called my dad and the rabbi.
Here's a link to part 1 in case you missed it:
https://incels.is/threads/told-my-m...d-out-any-called-my-dad-and-the-rabbi.230701/
Well, my mom, dad, and the rabbi all sat me down to have a talk with me. I started to explain myself how me being ugly is why no chick likes me, and that I will never amount to anything except being a bank account for another woman that will never love me.
The rabbi and me went back and forth on the subject, and he tried to convince me how that is how non Jews think and that Jewish people are not animalistic like other people. He said that many Jewish women could be mine and would love me because of my virtue, giving sermons in the synagogue since I was younger, my wealth gained from hardwork and intelligence, and that I am tall and manly looking.
My dad backed him up and said that many parents have asked if I was available for marriage, and if I would marry their daughter. I got him to confess who asked, and I unloaded how their daughters were sluts and that they are a disgrace to Judaism and only want me as a beta buck. The rabbi then said his daughter is really into me, and asked her dad before if she could be with him and that he told her that in time he will talk to our family know about a possible proposal. Now keep in mind this is the only chick that my friends and others have never even suspected of her even talking to another dude, and she even has the whole Torah memorized. She is normie tier in looks, but I always thought she was way too noble even for me, despite me having lived my whole life very religiously and following the commandments as best I could.
A few weeks later, the rabbi's daughter came over with her parents so we could all formally get things moving along. When the girl saw my face, she was smiling a lot I just stayed cheerful and it was one of the happiest moments in my life. We talked and laughed about random things, and I saw tears in my moms eyes because she probably has never seen me that happy. I was thinking of how I would finally have someone in my life who would love me and that I would serve God more than ever because he really did care about me and stuff like that.
I didn't hear anything back for a few days, and my mom eventually told me the truth. She was crying when she told me that the rabbi's daughter rejected the marriage proposal and she actually was into my brother (who is a lot taller and attractive than me) and wanted to be with him, even though he has 2 non Jewish girlfriends at this time, has no job, and is probably doing illegal activity. My mom tried to hug me and comfort me, but I lied and told her I'm fine and how it's okay, it wasn't in God plan and stuff. After that I went to my room, locked the door and cried for hours straight.
I have been crying so much over the last few weeks and tried to hide it from this server, but there's no hope. I'm a ugly subhuman kike that is mogged by his thugmaxxxed brother and the last hope I had in my life is now gone. There's no God, fuck Judaism, fuck the Torah, fuck God, and fuck this shitty existance. I just want to die and make the pain end. There's no point of even living as an inferior subhuman. No matter what I accomplished in life, my destiny was set at birth. At this moment I finally realize how over it is for me, and I will not mention to my parents anything about women or suicide again. I'm at a point where doing is all that there is left, and it's best to wait for their suspicions to die out about me being sad and then just kill myself in someway. The pain is too much, I can't continue on anymore.