Keeping intact old rituals without adjusting them to our current secular society could lead to false advertising to say the least. Priests should stop scamming husbands with irresponsible and unrealistic expectations and adopt a more down to her kn..ahem down to the earth approach.
Firstly the dress shouldn't be white as that's is supposed to mean purity and virginity. It would be like going to funerals dressed in yellow.
If the bride insists on wearing the traditional white dress then there should be a very visible!e label on the dress specifying :
"This white doesn't represent my purity but the gallons of coom that covered my body through all these years".
Anyways the important part that should be changed regards the speech of the priest.
Let's begin with going from "until death tear you apart" to "until some feminist judge tears you apart". An authority now much more commanding than that silly grim reaper.
Now the questions to the husband :
1)Are you ready to support her even if she's reduced to a creepy larva demanding the total end of your activities outside working and bending her purulent bedsores while being fully conscious that at your first suspicious cough she will fly away in Jamaica to never be seen again outside interracial porn sites ads?
2)Are you ready to lowy your expectations of matrimonial duties from your wife and be happy if she lets you starfishfuck her once a week?
3)Are you ready to support her freedom to giggle and be physical with her male friends?
4)Are you ready to let her keeping in her phone/social media men who are the cause of the label on your wife's dress?
5)Are you ready to accept the frequently casual bumping of her exes while you're walking holding hands with your wife knowing that chances are the hand you're holding made jizz his penis who happens to be girthier than your wrist and lengthier than your clavicle?
6)Are you ready to break your back wageslaving for years only to see her leave you and taking with her your house, half of your income for the next 40 years and your kids that suspiciously resemble the 2 meters plumber?
If yes you can kiss the lips of your bride that wrapped who knows how many dicks some of which may be present in this very church right now .
Now I declare you hubby and "hot" wife.
Firstly the dress shouldn't be white as that's is supposed to mean purity and virginity. It would be like going to funerals dressed in yellow.
If the bride insists on wearing the traditional white dress then there should be a very visible!e label on the dress specifying :
"This white doesn't represent my purity but the gallons of coom that covered my body through all these years".
Anyways the important part that should be changed regards the speech of the priest.
Let's begin with going from "until death tear you apart" to "until some feminist judge tears you apart". An authority now much more commanding than that silly grim reaper.
Now the questions to the husband :
1)Are you ready to support her even if she's reduced to a creepy larva demanding the total end of your activities outside working and bending her purulent bedsores while being fully conscious that at your first suspicious cough she will fly away in Jamaica to never be seen again outside interracial porn sites ads?
2)Are you ready to lowy your expectations of matrimonial duties from your wife and be happy if she lets you starfishfuck her once a week?
3)Are you ready to support her freedom to giggle and be physical with her male friends?
4)Are you ready to let her keeping in her phone/social media men who are the cause of the label on your wife's dress?
5)Are you ready to accept the frequently casual bumping of her exes while you're walking holding hands with your wife knowing that chances are the hand you're holding made jizz his penis who happens to be girthier than your wrist and lengthier than your clavicle?
6)Are you ready to break your back wageslaving for years only to see her leave you and taking with her your house, half of your income for the next 40 years and your kids that suspiciously resemble the 2 meters plumber?
If yes you can kiss the lips of your bride that wrapped who knows how many dicks some of which may be present in this very church right now .
Now I declare you hubby and "hot" wife.
