Venting Lowkey pathetic

[DeliriousMerchant]

I'm grateful for religion, and I'm grateful for family, and I'm grateful for God's mercy..but:

I've fell for a lot of different ideologies and ideas. I always used to feel ideologically or theologically superior to normies to mask my feelings for inferiority, and then when I embraced my feeling of inferiority, I really just despised myself and stopped hating foids and normies. I've been fat and fit, disciplined and lazy, and I've had moments where my family and I were really proud and impressed by myself, and times when we really absorbed how much of a disgrace I was. All my confidence is very temporarily and fragile.

There's something fundamentally wrong with my brain. I don't think I should've been born a citizen of a first-world developed country in the West. I've seen a lot of bad things online, and I've done a lot of bad stuff in real life. This is a confession. I have absolutely no passions that haven't been rinsed or blocked off for me. I'm always wrong eventually. I looked back at all my posts and I don't even know where I had the audacity to speak to a lot of the members here the way I did. It's disgusting. I was really a bad person with a lot of the things I said I'd do in hypotheticals. I don't know what my future is going to look like. All of my copes keep getting cock-blocked by life.

I can't make up my mind on anything. I hate myself. How you might hate a user on .is, or in real life, I hate myself in that same manner. I want to be anybody else. Better if I started brand new with a new brain chemistry. What makes ME myself, I fucking hate it. I want a soul transplant.

 

[DeliriousMerchant]

I'm such a piece of shit to my family sometimes. I really wish I just get devastated and humiliated someday brutally, but even thinking about being exposed makes my stomach churn.

 

[DeliriousMerchant]

I just wanna get what's coming to me one day

 

[DeliriousMerchant]

I'm so fickle-minded that I'll fall asleep shortly and forget about my depression episode tomorrow morning because I have work to do

 

[DeliriousMerchant]

Once a coward, always a coward

 

[DeliriousMerchant]

I don't even have the dignity to receive any advice or feedback on this fucking troglodyte of a website

 

[Fantasea]

hold still

 

[Icarus]

No offense brocel, but don't put everything into Christianity. I did the same at one point and when it backfired at my worst I just ended up even more depressed and miserable.

 

[Icarus]

I hope things get better for you though. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're only human brocel.

 

[alurmo]

is saying "dnrd" allowd on this site @Geno

 

[Geno]

is saying "dnrd" allowd on this site @Geno

idk what that means

 

[alurmo]

idk what that means

dnrd-did not read

 

[DeliriousMerchant]

No offense brocel, but don't put everything into Christianity. I did the same at one point and when it backfired at my worst I just ended up even more depressed and miserable.

I hope things get better for you though. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're only human brocel.

Thanks, brocel. I must ask you for your experience with Christianity sometime tomorrow or whenever you're free

 

[Geno]

I hope things get better for you though. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're only human brocel.

 

[DeliriousMerchant]

is saying "dnrd" allowd on this site @Geno

This fucking GRaY

It's dnr and yes you may

 

[Geno]

dnrd-did not read

idk if u can get banned

 

[Fantasea]

dnrd-did not read

no but there are many ways around it. like fascinating, i see, I liked this post, wow I never thought of that before, etc.

 

[alurmo]

This fucking GRaY

It's dnr and yes you may

thx alot ur based asf for that brah

but excuse the fact that u ignored there's literally not only one way to say did not read, look I could've called u out on ur blatant ignorance there but I'm gonna chill out bc yk what, I'm high asf rn why should I stress, if ur gonna attempt to correct me on a word at least do it right bro...

 

[Icarus]

Thanks, brocel. I must ask you for your experience with Christianity sometime tomorrow or whenever you're free

It's just the typical Bible reader case. Had a rosary. Used to consider myself catholic. Nothing too special.

I eventually converted to gnosticism. Watched a lot of YouTube videos.

 

[alurmo]

no but there are many ways around it. like fascinating, i see, I liked this post, wow I never thought of that before, etc.

ouuu so i just shapeshifts into high IQ ways to say it
nice move by .is there

 

[DeliriousMerchant]

thx alot ur based asf for that brah

but excuse the fact that u ignored there's literally not only one way to say did not read, look I could've called u out on ur blatant ignorance there but I'm gonna chill out bc yk what, I'm high asf rn why should I stress, if ur gonna attempt to correct me on a word at least do it right bro...

Yeah, you're right bro, what are you high on?

 

[Fantasea]

ouuu so i just shapeshifts into high IQ ways to say it
nice move by .is there

only one mod actions this sorta stuff so u can get away with a lot. it's playing with fire tho.

 

[DeliriousMerchant]

It's just the typical Bible reader case. Had a rosary. Used to consider myself catholic. Nothing too special.

I eventually converted to gnosticism. Watched a lot of YouTube videos.

I'm deep in the Oriental Orthodox-hole and in process of soon becoming a Catechumen when I find an Apostolic Church. You'd know yourself even as Christian, incel life hurts so much some days.

 

[alurmo]

Yeah, you're right bro, what are you high on?

lean and oxys
im coming down rn but I still feel pretty buzzed and somewhat low inhib

I haven't done opis in a long time my docs are normally stims so Ive been pretty knocked out for the last 3 hours lol

 

[alurmo]

only one mod actions this sorta stuff so u can get away with a lot. it's playing with fire tho.

i would be suprised if theres not alts on this site with the way people talk abt jannies srs

 

[Icarus]

I'm deep in the Oriental Orthodox-hole and in process of soon becoming a Catechumen when I find an Apostolic Church. You'd know yourself even as Christian, incel life hurts so much some days.

Indeed brocel

Once I lost Christianity I lost everything. Look within yourself though and you will find the answers. Often it comes from the subconscious.

 

[Fantasea]

i would be suprised if theres not alts on this site with the way people talk abt jannies srs

lounge and ban appeals are definitely worse. but I still do what I must.

 

[DeliriousMerchant]

Indeed brocel

Once I lost Christianity I lost everything. Look within yourself though and you will find the answers. Often it comes from the subconscious.

 

[alurmo]

lounge and ban appeals are definitely worse. but I still do what I must.

yeah out of all the forums i rot on people keep saying this is the most "strictest" forumbut I couldn't care less tbh
I'm grey on this site lol, banned??? just make another one