Every single day i wake up bombarded with OCD related fixations, Fixations that make it nearly impossible to ever relax as i am constantly bothered by the little details of many things. The "free" tax payer funded doctors are completely powerless to help me as pharmaceuticals and therapy are unable to stop these fixations. The only thing that dampers them is happiness which rarely ever have any more as i struggle to enjoy any of my hobbies because of these fixations. No only pure love would be able to make me happy again but i am completely unlovable not only am i ugly but my many mental illnesses make sure that no human being would ever want to put up with me. So then there is my last resort in becoming wealthy. There is not a single local business that is willing to give me a job, not even the so called "entry level" jobs are available to me, I send in my resumes all the time and i never hear back.
So i am forced to gamble if i want any chance of having a future and at first i was slowly winning, making the right plays more then i made the wrong plays slowly building up my small amount of wealth but recently i can't stop losing, It doesn't matter how patient I am every single move i make always fails and i lose money, Money that not only i need for a future but money i need to survive, money that goes towards rent, money that goes towards groceries, money that keeps the electricity on. It feels like i can do nothing to change my fortune and i'll lose everything i have but even if i were to stop the money i have would slowly disappear as i have no choice but to spend it.
So i am forced to gamble if i want any chance of having a future and at first i was slowly winning, making the right plays more then i made the wrong plays slowly building up my small amount of wealth but recently i can't stop losing, It doesn't matter how patient I am every single move i make always fails and i lose money, Money that not only i need for a future but money i need to survive, money that goes towards rent, money that goes towards groceries, money that keeps the electricity on. It feels like i can do nothing to change my fortune and i'll lose everything i have but even if i were to stop the money i have would slowly disappear as i have no choice but to spend it.
