Venting Lonely kid

[SquareBin]

>be me, 6-11yo
>ask other pupils if I can play with them
« No SquareBin »
« But I never play... how am I supposed to improve my game skill otherwise ? »
(Didn’t know about clubs back then, parents still in this divorce shit, couldn’t care to search a club for me)
>watch them play.
>nothing else to do in the playground
>search for a teacher
>tell him/her others won’t let me in
>teacher ask that I’m included too
>they reluctantly say yes
>sometime they would argue with the teacher, and the teacher would give up
>when I’m in, I never get the ball, no one calls me for help, never have the chance to even participate
>am told that I’m useless and should just sit on the side
>as time passed, I developped social anxiety
>fear of others, fear of rejections
>at around the fucking age of 9

Do IncelTears not understand that others around me turned me into the mess I am today ?
That I turned « toxic » not because of my « personality » but my environment ?
And when they later turned into « chads », socially successful and good looks, I was crippled, had low esteem, contemplated my rope at home, was visiting the school psychologist at 14yo regularly...
How am I supposed to not feel jealousy, intense hatred and resentment against these people ?
Why is there not more understanding ?

>it can’t have been my personality
>I was weak and somewhat bullied
>there was nothing I could do, even with a time machine I’d still be clueless
>have a strong feeling that no one will ever love or care about me
ffw to today and it still depress me

Feminists love to preach for equality, but there’s no support group for people like me.
I’m told that I simply need to move on and see a psychologist. I still am and she’s clueless.
I need other people’s friendship/love to heal.
But if I was rejected as a kid, why would it be different today ?

I was lost for a long time, lurking many forums and such, and even though this one isn’t perfect, it’s a place where I can feel vulnerable. It’s the only place where I know many others can relate to my experience.

I’m not just an « incel ». If anyone at IT reads this, keep in mind that we have bigger baggage’s than simply a few rejection from girls.

I still haven’t healed, and I try to reject my humanity to stop the pain.

 

[Boshy]

I'm not responsible for being the least social person in first grade, literally 7 years old and expected to take responsibility for the whole environment and my bad looks... LMAO.

 

[Blacktarpill]

They have mental disorders. This is not normal.

 

[Jack_Of_Smiles]

Fuckers, they deserve to be killed.

 

[SchrodingersDick]

Same with me but since the first week of kindergarten

It’s been a lonely life.

 

[Cuyen]

did you try getting a haircut?

and a shower br0

 

[SquareBin]

They have mental disorders. This is not normal.

I’m the one being treated now.
The idea that looks have nothing to do and only confidence matters is bullshit.
All the people that I saw get bullied were always below average in looks. They were kids ffs. How do you gain confidence when you’re bulied because of your looks ?

It is beyond me that so many IT (and other elsewhere) think that confidence will erase my ugliness. It’s a trauma that won’t go away I avoid mirrors most of the time now.
Having friends to hang out with, people that won’t spit behind my back, is not too much to ask.
I’m not entitled to anyone, but I am entitled to some love and compassion. Everyday of isolation is a step further towards suicide.
And no one cares

 

[Blacktarpill]

I’m the one being treated now.
The idea that looks have nothing to do and only confidence matters is bullshit.
All the people that I saw get bullied were always below average in looks. They were kids ffs. How do you gain confidence when you’re bulied because of your looks ?

It is beyond me that so many IT (and other elsewhere) think that confidence will erase my ugliness. It’s a trauma that won’t go away I avoid mirrors most of the time now.
Having friends to hang out with, people that won’t spit behind my back, is not too much to ask.
I’m not entitled to anyone, but I am entitled to some love and compassion. Everyday of isolation is a step further towards suicide.
And no one cares

Confidence + subhuman = cunt
Confidence + chad + cunt personality = Alpha male chad

 

[First loss]

I know tbh. I experienced the same.

 

[FinnCel]

Feminists hate equality

 

[Insomniac]

It’s been a lonely life.

 

[Michael15651]

Sorry to hear this, OP.