For the longest time (before registering an account on this site, which I did only a few days ago), I had mentally ascertained that I had no need for relationships (as well as the things that come with them, such as affection and sex). This had stemmed entirely out of seeing my parents' own dysfunctional relationship (arranged curry marriage), as well as my own social situation (I do not talk to foids yet they still view me with utter disgust and spite) essentially making it obvious to be that a relationship was not something compatible with my current existence. I have, for the longest time, viewed it as being a contingent, useless, unnecessary facet of life - and dismissed it as such. I used to quite literally not give a care in the world about it.
The effects of my loneliness have now begun taking their toll on me. I have become unmotivated, lazy, fatigued, and depressed (which has had a direct knock-on effect on my studies). I have also experienced a sharp decline in my general appetite. I find myself talking to myself on a regular basis, often times breaking down in tears shortly into doing so. I used to quite literally never cry, yet now I find myself tearing up (in the privacy of my own room) almost every single day. I am a very socially isolated person (and as such have nobody to speak to, and likewise have nobody who cares for my emotions), and have been for all my life. I have, of course, been greatly habituated to this until recently, when the aforementioned symptoms began to manifest. Indeed, it was not until I actually began paying attention to the lives of others around me that I was able to pinpoint the root cause of all my maladies (loneliness). I find myself postulating regularly about what it would be like to have a relationship, and subsequently find myself getting grossly disheartened each time I remember how my inceldom easily shoots down the possibility of such a scenario occurring.
I find myself wasting away. This has become a chronic condition for me - a condition which I do not possess the means to stop. It gets progressively worse day by day, and I fear it is only a matter of time before it takes away what little energy and motivation I have left. I do not understand why the lack of a relationship has caused me to feel this way, though I do have a number of hypotheses, namely that I have become depressed as a result of lacking a person who truly cares about me. I also believe this may be an evolutionary trait - a mental "pressure" to incentivize humans to reproduce. Regardless of its causes, one thing is certain - it has effected my life and my health in horrific ways. I hope this sudden, sharp decline is specific to me and my mind, and is not a trend that will ever befall any of you.
The effects of my loneliness have now begun taking their toll on me. I have become unmotivated, lazy, fatigued, and depressed (which has had a direct knock-on effect on my studies). I have also experienced a sharp decline in my general appetite. I find myself talking to myself on a regular basis, often times breaking down in tears shortly into doing so. I used to quite literally never cry, yet now I find myself tearing up (in the privacy of my own room) almost every single day. I am a very socially isolated person (and as such have nobody to speak to, and likewise have nobody who cares for my emotions), and have been for all my life. I have, of course, been greatly habituated to this until recently, when the aforementioned symptoms began to manifest. Indeed, it was not until I actually began paying attention to the lives of others around me that I was able to pinpoint the root cause of all my maladies (loneliness). I find myself postulating regularly about what it would be like to have a relationship, and subsequently find myself getting grossly disheartened each time I remember how my inceldom easily shoots down the possibility of such a scenario occurring.
I find myself wasting away. This has become a chronic condition for me - a condition which I do not possess the means to stop. It gets progressively worse day by day, and I fear it is only a matter of time before it takes away what little energy and motivation I have left. I do not understand why the lack of a relationship has caused me to feel this way, though I do have a number of hypotheses, namely that I have become depressed as a result of lacking a person who truly cares about me. I also believe this may be an evolutionary trait - a mental "pressure" to incentivize humans to reproduce. Regardless of its causes, one thing is certain - it has effected my life and my health in horrific ways. I hope this sudden, sharp decline is specific to me and my mind, and is not a trend that will ever befall any of you.
