Im beyond the whole yearning part Im seriously becoming more and more disabled by loneliness. Im truly acting strange and getting scared of my own behaviour and thoughts, feels like ive turettes syndrome without the ticks, the spasms are inside my brain, like heavy autism where I literally don’t know what my mind should think of. My brain pathways are damaged and I see popups everywhere flashing on my cortex in any given moment, people look afraid around me and ask constantly whats going on and If Im sick. I genuinely don’t know how I look like from the outside what Im doing. Feels like im piloting a corpse to do random shit while I think about garbage. Feels like my immune system is rejecting my body I don’t know how to explain it in words, Im beyond mental retardation. I don’t know how Im still able to wageslave.
