InMemoriam
Tribute account for miWatch432 pioneer of lurking
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1 year ago
Anonymous #1
It was around April or May during the pandemic that I started using Reddit more and more. I first heard about incels on Reddit, because someone who was giving bad relationship advice was being called an incel as an insult. I looked into what that word meant, and I found people who were kind of like me. So I browsed all the vocabulary and started posting.
The incels on there couldn’t find anyone to sleep with and I was absolutely convinced that I couldn’t find anyone. It was nice meeting other people who felt the same. I really like my friends but I believe they could easily find someone, so this wasn’t something I could relate to them about. I felt like I needed the incels. I started posting about how I was frustrated with women and feeling sad and lonely.
The focus on the way people look was relieving, because it made you feel like there’s no use worrying about it – you have an explanation for why you are in the situation you are, you don’t have to feel bad about yourself for not realising your potential because you don’t have a potential.
I find it difficult humanising women. And many people including myself really crave physical intimate touch like hugging, holding hands and cuddling. A lot of men don't have access to this outside of a romantic relationship, and the touch-starved feeling, especially during lockdown, has done a lot of damage to my mental health.
Anxiety haunts desire. In 2014, Elliot Rodger, half white and half Asian American, killed six people and injured 14 in an act of revenge against white women.“It’s an injustice,” he explained in a 100,000-word manifesto, that he was still a virgin, a condition he linked to being Asian American. In a particularly self-hating passage, he writes: “Full Asian men are disgustingly ugly and white girls would never go for you … You’ll never be half white and you’ll never fulfil your dream of marrying a white woman.”
In the white imagination, Asian masculinity symbolises what white men fear about being less “masculine” than Black males. That is, that societal power may come at the cost of sexual power. The model minority Asian male might become a doctor or lawyer or engineer, but he can’t get the girl.
If an Asian man can win the love of a white woman, he thinks, then he might have a claim to in all its whiteness and straightness and maleness after all. This is the imagination with which Kumail courts Emily in The Big Sick. Though he finds some kind of love in the end, it’s hard not to see in that love the images of all the brown women that he threw aside (and, eventually, burned).
When I educated myself more, I realised that sexuality is very non-binary. I think a number of incels may have some kind of repressed homosexuality that they don’t know how to deal with. I’ve noticed that some incel communities can be pretty homophobic as well, which fuels their internalised self hatred and denial.
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1 year ago
username5655466
17
You just seem lonely lol, don't make yourself an incel.
1 year ago
Lockdown has turned me into an incel
Anonymous #1
It was around April or May during the pandemic that I started using Reddit more and more. I first heard about incels on Reddit, because someone who was giving bad relationship advice was being called an incel as an insult. I looked into what that word meant, and I found people who were kind of like me. So I browsed all the vocabulary and started posting.
The incels on there couldn’t find anyone to sleep with and I was absolutely convinced that I couldn’t find anyone. It was nice meeting other people who felt the same. I really like my friends but I believe they could easily find someone, so this wasn’t something I could relate to them about. I felt like I needed the incels. I started posting about how I was frustrated with women and feeling sad and lonely.
The focus on the way people look was relieving, because it made you feel like there’s no use worrying about it – you have an explanation for why you are in the situation you are, you don’t have to feel bad about yourself for not realising your potential because you don’t have a potential.
I find it difficult humanising women. And many people including myself really crave physical intimate touch like hugging, holding hands and cuddling. A lot of men don't have access to this outside of a romantic relationship, and the touch-starved feeling, especially during lockdown, has done a lot of damage to my mental health.
Anxiety haunts desire. In 2014, Elliot Rodger, half white and half Asian American, killed six people and injured 14 in an act of revenge against white women.“It’s an injustice,” he explained in a 100,000-word manifesto, that he was still a virgin, a condition he linked to being Asian American. In a particularly self-hating passage, he writes: “Full Asian men are disgustingly ugly and white girls would never go for you … You’ll never be half white and you’ll never fulfil your dream of marrying a white woman.”
In the white imagination, Asian masculinity symbolises what white men fear about being less “masculine” than Black males. That is, that societal power may come at the cost of sexual power. The model minority Asian male might become a doctor or lawyer or engineer, but he can’t get the girl.
If an Asian man can win the love of a white woman, he thinks, then he might have a claim to in all its whiteness and straightness and maleness after all. This is the imagination with which Kumail courts Emily in The Big Sick. Though he finds some kind of love in the end, it’s hard not to see in that love the images of all the brown women that he threw aside (and, eventually, burned).
When I educated myself more, I realised that sexuality is very non-binary. I think a number of incels may have some kind of repressed homosexuality that they don’t know how to deal with. I’ve noticed that some incel communities can be pretty homophobic as well, which fuels their internalised self hatred and denial.
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1 year ago
username5655466
17
You just seem lonely lol, don't make yourself an incel.
