Steroids, escorts, and compulsive buying. Everything I do is for temporary pleasure or gratification.
I pay for everything and I’m not just talking financially. I’m talking physically with my health, mentally with how I perceive and view things with my hormones all fucked up.
The escort from two nights ago messaged me this morning if I wanted to come over. I told her I was out of state but I’ll text her if I’m in the area again. (I posted about the experience yesterday).
I had such a fun time with her that I’m addicted. If I could afford to have sex 7x a week I would. New positions, film different angles, try new things….
But none of it is real. My strength shooting up 50lbs on bench. The artificial “relationship” I have with this girl. Every time I inject myself with a needle the “dirty” feeling I get.
I feel like a degenerate. I’m sure it’s the steroids that amplify it.
But I don’t want to sound like a victim. Even when she asked why I was still a virgin I kept it short. I don’t want to sound like a complainer, I want to sound like a good dude.
I want to feel guilty but we just have to embrace it guys. There are people having threesomes right now, getting shit faced with their girlfriend and having sex, people out partying and getting laid, people selling their sex tapes, people advertising their OF.
God isn’t coming to save us. Live a live you want to live. Fuck other people’s opinions.
I pay for everything and I’m not just talking financially. I’m talking physically with my health, mentally with how I perceive and view things with my hormones all fucked up.
The escort from two nights ago messaged me this morning if I wanted to come over. I told her I was out of state but I’ll text her if I’m in the area again. (I posted about the experience yesterday).
I had such a fun time with her that I’m addicted. If I could afford to have sex 7x a week I would. New positions, film different angles, try new things….
But none of it is real. My strength shooting up 50lbs on bench. The artificial “relationship” I have with this girl. Every time I inject myself with a needle the “dirty” feeling I get.
I feel like a degenerate. I’m sure it’s the steroids that amplify it.
But I don’t want to sound like a victim. Even when she asked why I was still a virgin I kept it short. I don’t want to sound like a complainer, I want to sound like a good dude.
I want to feel guilty but we just have to embrace it guys. There are people having threesomes right now, getting shit faced with their girlfriend and having sex, people out partying and getting laid, people selling their sex tapes, people advertising their OF.
God isn’t coming to save us. Live a live you want to live. Fuck other people’s opinions.
Last edited:
