5
I got myself a job , actually no my MOTHER got me a job by putting in a word for me at some supermarket. She's always been a good looking person , I suspect that's the only reason I even got that job to begin with since nobody has ever given me a chance to work for them when I applied myself. Had it not been for the fact that I'm objectively below average (which I've been told More than once) working here wouldn't be so bad but i have one of those faces that look like a poorly generated AI cartoon. I just looked unrealistically goofy and bizzare in the worst way imaginable. As a result , the costumers typically skip over me and ask the good looking guy to cut/prep their food or make their sandwiches etc. they only come to me if I happen to be the only person up front when he's on break or whatever but apart from that everyone flocks to him , especially the employees, they love him. He does absolutely nothing special but people just treat him like he's an angel. I work with non English speakers including him so when I do or say literally anything at all he will switch to Spanish and start laughing with the others so I just act like I don't care . That's not the worst part ...the part that makes me want to slam my face into a wall is how the costumers/people passing by the deli look at me. 8 out of 10 people will typically look at me with a face that looks as if they're holding back laughter. One guy and I had a literal stare down because I was trying to figure out wtf he found so funny but that only made him want to laugh more to the point where his eyes turned red and started watering from holding in the laugh so much.
I've tried to convince myself that people laughing at me was all in my head up until some guys who looked to be aroumd least 10 years older than me burst out laughing the very moment they laid eyes on me. Plus I've actually seen teenagers recording me on the street sometimes they shout things at me , like one time I was riding electric scooter which I use to get to work everyday but this happened when I was headed home , I passed by these girls who looked to be 15 , 17 , 18 and the youngest one shouts at me "vroom vroom" , I laughed it off but then I heard her say to the others "he laughed" and something else I could barely make out but I picked up speed so that this way I wouldn't have to hear the potential insults they had in store for me. whether I'm taking a walk , doing laundry , working etc , I will notice at least 12 people doing that stupid contorted smirk. It's to the point where if I look up at a person the moment they look in my direction there is usually a 98% chance they will do it and it scares me to be in public now. It's my eyes that make me look exactly like a frog , it's my eyes that make people laugh at me and my environment as wwll because when I lived in GA people had enough common sense and empathy/sympathy to NOT just laugh in people's faces or at least make it much less obvious but here in NY people don't even believe in respect , they just act impulsively and if you don't like it prepare to go to verbal war with these unsympathetic nut jobs. Anyways , In a few hours from now I have to wake up from sleep which is the only true peace I can ever get , then I have to get up and go to work just so people can have something to laugh at and brighten their fuckin day . I just don't see how im expected to live this life much longer. I also don't understand why people guilt trip me for being honest about the importance of looks when I know more than most people how deep the rabbit hole goes , I mean like DUDE I'm a literal swamp creature , I know exactly what I'm talking about
I've tried to convince myself that people laughing at me was all in my head up until some guys who looked to be aroumd least 10 years older than me burst out laughing the very moment they laid eyes on me. Plus I've actually seen teenagers recording me on the street sometimes they shout things at me , like one time I was riding electric scooter which I use to get to work everyday but this happened when I was headed home , I passed by these girls who looked to be 15 , 17 , 18 and the youngest one shouts at me "vroom vroom" , I laughed it off but then I heard her say to the others "he laughed" and something else I could barely make out but I picked up speed so that this way I wouldn't have to hear the potential insults they had in store for me. whether I'm taking a walk , doing laundry , working etc , I will notice at least 12 people doing that stupid contorted smirk. It's to the point where if I look up at a person the moment they look in my direction there is usually a 98% chance they will do it and it scares me to be in public now. It's my eyes that make me look exactly like a frog , it's my eyes that make people laugh at me and my environment as wwll because when I lived in GA people had enough common sense and empathy/sympathy to NOT just laugh in people's faces or at least make it much less obvious but here in NY people don't even believe in respect , they just act impulsively and if you don't like it prepare to go to verbal war with these unsympathetic nut jobs. Anyways , In a few hours from now I have to wake up from sleep which is the only true peace I can ever get , then I have to get up and go to work just so people can have something to laugh at and brighten their fuckin day . I just don't see how im expected to live this life much longer. I also don't understand why people guilt trip me for being honest about the importance of looks when I know more than most people how deep the rabbit hole goes , I mean like DUDE I'm a literal swamp creature , I know exactly what I'm talking about
. wageslaving in customer service is hell on earth without being short and sub5. I mean, nyc is petty lib commie try to get disability so u neet in peace 
