- Jul 11, 2018
I've been researching Incels for a while. Trying to see where my perscription pain lies. The anger. I know. From what I gather, I'm what is considered a Beta Cuck. Maybe a bald-cel? I'm old compared to you boys, 32. I was a traditional Incel before it began, until I was 20. Rejection, pain repeat. I got the pity panic fuck from an obese woman, 2005. Sad. Burned by Chad ex-boy friend. We got married in ought 8. I spent my life trying to be a good, intelligent person. A person that cared. I had a hard time with anxiety in college. It almost broke me. She got lapband surgery, I helped pay for it. In 2010, she wanted a divorce. Cheated before with some Chad co-worker mother fucker. She had no appreciation for the man she had... Here's the thing.. 2012, she's used up, disappointed, wants to settle down... I finished college with a degree in education, still wanted to help people. I took her back. Re-married 2013, drinking to maintain. She's still dominant, thankless, two kids. Loveless. Thankless. I work with young kids now with Asperger's and other disabilities. One called me a "Normie." (Until he warmed up to me, and knew I legit wanted to help) Iguess it turned me on to the sub-culture...I'm a child of the 90's. Be sensitive, be a White Knight... You're rewarded with nothing but pain my friends...I'm sold on the futile ugliness of it all. Take your labor, take your paycheck. Give nothing, appreciate nothing of the life that is, that gives all just to arrive at the same old dark certainty. It's over. It's wasted. I'm still a drunk mess, with no support or validation from that bitch. How do I help these kids? How do I lie???!? They don't know I know what their terminology means. They don't know I know their fears and their rejections. I know what it means to have people spit in your face, and for it to mean forever.