Shaka was born as the illegitimate child of a Zulu chieftain, inadvertently conceived during a process called hlobonga.
The term is pronounced the same as holobunga, an epic meme that you might recall associated with Grug wojak.
Being a bastard child, Shaka was exiled to his mother's ancestral village. And while it may be true that dick size is rather irrelevant in a culture where clothes are worn, this was not Zulu culture (as the holobunga/hlobonga coincidence might suggest).
Shaka had a ridiculously small penis and was bullied relentlessly for it during the crucial formative years of early childhood.
The bullying made him spiteful and sociopathic, and he ascended into a brutal chieftain who one day returned to the village where he was brutalized and impaled through the anus nearly all of his peers from then - only sparing the few that could recall a favor they had done for him or his family.
He would later depopulate virtually all of South Africa in his wars, which is what enabled Boer colonization.
Death to all bullies
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