Hi, sorry for being an attention-seeking faggot, it's not intentional, I just have so much stress built up within me because I know I'm doing this tonight. The 4473 form came back good, and I finally got the shotgun, specifically the Remington 870, and i made sure to get slugs (i understand nothing about guns) but apparently those are strong. Im such a fucking pussy, despite being depressed and suicidal my entire life i waited until i was 18 so i could buy a shotgun and have a quick and painless death. I see it as an almost poetic way to go out, my entire life ive been a useless coward and ill end my life in a cowardly way. Its just so pathetic, so many incels can at least tolerate their lives or find ways to bare it but I just decided to give up, and will essentially leave my family traumatized seeing my destroyed corpse in the basement. its just, why couldn't I have been a little taller, a little better looking, why couldn't I have been at least white(not trying to downplay the lives of white incels, please don't take it that way) It just feels like I got the worst hand, but I won't force myself to play it. I know im a grey and I wasn't active here much, but to whoever reads this i wish you the best, and I gave up on life but you don't have to.