Venting Just looked through 2-3 year old photos

[Curious0]

It was brutal. Inbetween cute pictures of my cats and family members (some even dead now) there were pictures of me at 15-16 years old. What can I say... it literally never began for me. I did not have severe acne and no scarring at that time, yet I was very very ugly.
Not even in the stereotypical way. I was not fat. I was not dirty. I just had a very provoking face.
What's more disheartening than looking ugly is looking dumb. I came to this conclusion a long time ago but this event just made me realize again. I look very, very dumb. I don't feel dumb. I don't even feel subhuman until I look at photos or the mirror.

Now I'm uglier than I was at 16 since severe acne completely fucked up my skin. I'm 18 and my face is still bloated like a baby.
At least one good realization that's the result of this is that I know for a fact that I don't have one single flaw that prevents me from being likeable like some incels claim a la "if only I had a smaller nose". This cope never even erupted in my case since I always knew it was a combination of all features. Some people told me if I fixed my acne I would have a chance. This is far from the truth. I was also extremely ugly without acne scars. To this day I hate my eyes, nose, body more than having to deal with pimples.

My only motivation to earn a lot of money is to eventually be able to afford several plastic surgeries.

 

[Six]

Were you blackpilled at 16?

 

[Curious0]

Were you blackpilled at 16?

I don't know honestly. I always hated the way I looked and knew that all my problems stem from this fact deep down but I went through coping stages to be honest. I watched RSD videos and self improvement videos but never tried out the stuff I learned, probably because my subconscious told me not to do, so I would say I had blackpilled tendencies but tried to overshadow them with some desperate copes.

 

[Sanpakucel]

you just have bdd bro

 

[Curious0]

you just have bdd bro

No, I do not

 

[superighteous]

How did you look as a young child? I’ve been looking at my old photos lately as well. I was a cute kid.. like a REALLY cute kid, then things went terribly wrong with puberty and now I look like an abomination. Like you might guess that my face had been melted in some freak accident between then and now. I’ve never seen puberty fuck someone up as severely as me. I wish I could link pictures to show you how bad the contrast really is, but at the same time I don’t want to show my face.

 

[Curious0]

How did you look as a young child? I’ve been looking at my old photos lately as well. I was a cute kid.. like a REALLY cute kid, then things went terribly wrong with puberty and now I look like an abomination. Like you might guess that my face had been melted in some freak accident between then and now. I’ve never seen puberty fuck someone up as severely as me. I wish I could link pictures to show you how bad the contrast really is, but at the same time I don’t want to show my face.

I looked normal I guess.
At around 7 years old one could guess that my nose will get a bump and that my eyes will get a nct though. Besides that I looked normal as I also didn't have a long midface at that point.
I was a very big baby by the way, so that's great. My parents probably thought I'll turn into a 6'4 beast. Unfortunately this didn't happen.

 

[GameDevCel]

i was ok looking back them, i never suspected iw ould have vitiligus and become disfigured

 

[Ignas]

Same lol. But I saw any photo of me at any age, it's all the same. I have never began tier looks

 

[superighteous]

I looked normal I guess.
At around 7 years old one could guess that my nose will get a bump and that my eyes will get a nct though. Besides that I looked normal as I also didn't have a long midface at that point.
I was a very big baby by the way, so that's great. My parents probably thought I'll turn into a 6'4 beast. Unfortunately this didn't happen.

Yeah, with my face as well I had some not so great features that provided a glimpse of what was soon to come. But overall good looking. The features that once were easily overlooked now take over my face. I even had hooded eyes back then, now I have some nasty upper eyelid exposure. Puberty destroyed us.

 

[Curious0]

Yeah, with my face as well I had some not so great features that provided a glimpse of what was soon to come. But overall good looking. The features that once were easily overlooked now take over my face. I even had hooded eyes back then, now I have some nasty upper eyelid exposure. Puberty destroyed us.

The major issue I have with my looks is not merely the ugliness but rather the fact that I look like a person with an IQ of 70.
It's because of my lips and my eye area I guess. One of my eye is NCT and has eyelid exposure while the other has a normal CT and less eyelid exposure.
Puberty didn't destroy me that much though I guess. I'm low T so puberty didn't have that much of a negative impact. Apart from my looks I'm also just a weird person in general. I've always been different, an outsider. Even in kindergarden.
I've never developed feelings for a girl before despite not being fully blackpilled at that time.
At 17, when I was rather blackpilled, I developed a crush on a girl who is unattainable. Im not able to get rid of it despite reading about blackpills all day lmao. This life is a joke.

 

[superighteous]

The major issue I have with my looks is not merely the ugliness but rather the fact that I look like a person with an IQ of 70.
It's because of my lips and my eye area I guess. One of my eye is NCT and has eyelid exposure while the other has a normal CT and less eyelid exposure.
Puberty didn't destroy me that much though I guess. I'm low T so puberty didn't have that much of a negative impact. Apart from my looks I'm also just a weird person in general. I've always been different, an outsider. Even in kindergarden.
I've never developed feelings for a girl before despite not being fully blackpilled at that time.
At 17, when I was rather blackpilled, I developed a crush on a girl who is unattainable. Im not able to get rid of it despite reading about blackpills all day lmao. This life is a joke.

I feel a lot of what you said, bro. Although, I’ve never had a crush thankfully. But I’m sure it’s hell.

 

[Deleted member 15752]

I was so happy and positive when i was younger.

 

[Bakura806]

I don't know honestly. I always hated the way I looked and knew that all my problems stem from this fact deep down but I went through coping stages to be honest. I watched RSD videos and self improvement videos but never tried out the stuff I learned, probably because my subconscious told me not to do, so I would say I had blackpilled tendencies but tried to overshadow them with some desperate copes.

Same I have always been in relatively good shape most of my life up until now and im 5'10 so technically above average height but I just have a dumb ugly face, whenever see pictures or videos of myself I get a strong urge to fucking kill myself, my face is the hold thing holding me back

 

[Curious0]

Same I have always been in relatively good shape most of my life up until now and im 5'10 so technically above average height but I just have a dumb ugly face, whenever see pictures or videos of myself I get a strong urge to fucking kill myself, my face is the hold thing holding me back

I was legit scared of that feeling. I still get the urge to rope when I look at myself but at least I've overcome the fear of taking pics. I haven't taken pics for a long time until I had to take some to do morphs of my face.

 

[Cuyen]

same bro. puberty really hit me so hard. fucked me up