In the 1960s and 1970s, there were some social disruptions touching marriage and family life. It was, they told us, a “sexual revolution.” The thing about revolutions is: somebody loses. The so-called incels are some of the losers in that revolution, though not the only ones or, socially speaking, the most significant ones. (Those would be the abandoned single mothers.) But their situation is worth considering. . . .
If you are a sexually frustrated young man, the smart play would be to join a church. . . . That advice won’t do much good for the guys toggling between anime porn and [the online forum] Reddit all night while concocting elaborate revenge fantasies. It probably is not the case that those guys are maladjusted fruitcakes because they can’t get a girl; more likely, they can’t get a girl because they’re maladjusted fruitcakes. But you more or less normal, nonpsychotic, workaday types having trouble meeting a girl: join a church. Today. Or Sunday. If you don’t know which one to go to, pick whichever one your parents or grandparents went to. . . .
All you have to do to clear that first hurdle is show up. You’re a man, you go to church, ergo you are a churchgoing man. Maybe you go for self-interested reasons. Most churches are [comfortable] with that. . . .
In the meantime, consider that there are women in the room who might not only be interested in dating you but who might be persuaded to make a public pledge—right there in the church—to have sex with you for the rest of your life, and enter into a legal arrangement fortifying that commitment. Marriage and fatherhood have been socially devalued. But that doesn’t mean you have to go along with it. And it probably wouldn’t kill you to listen to a sermon or two.
mosaicmagazine.com
