I've been chadfishing, mostly sex-based. But this one girl has been sending nudes and talking a bit. She's down to meet but not sure how serious she is. She's at uni at the other side of the country but has family in a nearby city, so it's a neat scenario to catfish and evade the meet. I've stalked all her social media and her snapchat story and I've fantasised extensively about what it would be like to gf her. Last night I had the most intense nightmare I can remember. I always forget the details of my dreams, but the central narrative was that of the unmasked catfish. She found out who I was. There was some mediator character involved, my Mum or something kek. She wasn't angry. And it was left open-ended, like an episode of Catfish. I was left ghosted, desperately checking my phone every hour to see if she'd contacted me. I've never felt such intense sadness. Maladaptive daydreaming is brutal. This girl isn't even that into my chadfish lol. She ghosts convos and mostly just wants to flirt, she undoubtedly has a whole harem of sc chads who she sends nudes to. And has probably fucked a hundred guys. But I've projected this whole fantasy onto her. One time, a month ago, I went on a long walk and lived out this whole scenario in my mind, of her being with me, and the conversation we had. I'm literally insane. She isn't even that hot. A bit fat. Isolation and social failure is death. When you're passed over for core experiences during your prime years, it's over forever.
Jesus Christ, dude. That's suicide.
