Looking back at my younger self, it's amazing how different I used to be. There was absolutely no hint - no trace of the man I would become.
I was an awkward, hopelessly romantic boy who just wanted to be loved. I bore no ill will towards girls, if anything I wanted to form a genuine connection with one.
What happened though? I was hurt; rather badly I must say. They treated me cruelly without cause, even back in middle school I remember a girl asking me out as a dare and then begging me to say no. Keep in mind, I didn't even TALK to her beforehand, but for some reason she and her friends decided to pick on me.
It got worse in high school though, where one awful experience after another stacked inside me. (This is was also when the pedestal I placed girls on began to crumble, as I discovered that two of my oneitises already had sex at 15 after finding their askfm accounts) I tried everything to be accepted, from starting an official club to going out of my way to overcome my social anxiety.
Nothing worked though, they still treated me like an outcast. In the end, I was forced to drop out because I couldn't take it anymore.
Despite all of that, the final straw had to be a particular incident from around then. For the first time in my life I had truly opened my heart out to someone I thought was different and she ended up using me. After months and months of unending tears and nightmares, I began to post on the first incels sub - becoming more bitter as time went on. I still tried after that, but as you can guess on only got worse.
So here's a riddle for you, what turns a good heart into a cruel one? What makes a wide-eyed idealist who once wrote poems of true love advocate for rape and death? It's a long tirade of pain, one inflicted by females. Once you kick a dog long enough, it bites back.
I was an awkward, hopelessly romantic boy who just wanted to be loved. I bore no ill will towards girls, if anything I wanted to form a genuine connection with one.
What happened though? I was hurt; rather badly I must say. They treated me cruelly without cause, even back in middle school I remember a girl asking me out as a dare and then begging me to say no. Keep in mind, I didn't even TALK to her beforehand, but for some reason she and her friends decided to pick on me.
It got worse in high school though, where one awful experience after another stacked inside me. (This is was also when the pedestal I placed girls on began to crumble, as I discovered that two of my oneitises already had sex at 15 after finding their askfm accounts) I tried everything to be accepted, from starting an official club to going out of my way to overcome my social anxiety.
Nothing worked though, they still treated me like an outcast. In the end, I was forced to drop out because I couldn't take it anymore.
Despite all of that, the final straw had to be a particular incident from around then. For the first time in my life I had truly opened my heart out to someone I thought was different and she ended up using me. After months and months of unending tears and nightmares, I began to post on the first incels sub - becoming more bitter as time went on. I still tried after that, but as you can guess on only got worse.
So here's a riddle for you, what turns a good heart into a cruel one? What makes a wide-eyed idealist who once wrote poems of true love advocate for rape and death? It's a long tirade of pain, one inflicted by females. Once you kick a dog long enough, it bites back.
so true
