-Incoming water vent-
It's over, more so like it actually never began. Maybe it was the genes or plastic in my testicles growing up influencing my hormones or my incorrect developmental stage, whatever it may have been this result remains unchanged.
At first I got deep into biology and chemistry for a hope to alter my own body on a deep chemical level by causing alterations of the fundamentals of human body, all while having cognitive tension knowing it is all a mere cope.
Then I accepted reality fully. There is no escaping this body which causes my sisters,brothers,father,mother to despise me and hate me.
It is very subtle -often obvious- kind of hatred. Avoidance at all times and blatant ignorance of suicidal symptoms in a young man. To only gaslight or humiliate him in social occasions.
This is so unliveable
I truly hate this, it's like some sort of inevitable disease or disability that I can not fight back with just gym or "improving"
Society hates ugly men more than anything. It means that ugly men, short men, men with small penises should never exist in the first place. Literally a disfiguration of the maleness.
There is no escape. No help, no care, no one to have.
It's over, more so like it actually never began. Maybe it was the genes or plastic in my testicles growing up influencing my hormones or my incorrect developmental stage, whatever it may have been this result remains unchanged.
At first I got deep into biology and chemistry for a hope to alter my own body on a deep chemical level by causing alterations of the fundamentals of human body, all while having cognitive tension knowing it is all a mere cope.
Then I accepted reality fully. There is no escaping this body which causes my sisters,brothers,father,mother to despise me and hate me.
It is very subtle -often obvious- kind of hatred. Avoidance at all times and blatant ignorance of suicidal symptoms in a young man. To only gaslight or humiliate him in social occasions.
This is so unliveable
I truly hate this, it's like some sort of inevitable disease or disability that I can not fight back with just gym or "improving"
Society hates ugly men more than anything. It means that ugly men, short men, men with small penises should never exist in the first place. Literally a disfiguration of the maleness.
There is no escape. No help, no care, no one to have.
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