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Serious It's not that I've decided to not feel fully human

  • Thread starter bigantennaemay1
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bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
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It's that I've never been allowed to feel fully human. Women pass me up for dating because I'm ugly and autistic (and before any lurking fucks say a thing, no, you are wrong, I am right, it's been scientifically proven beyond all reasonable doubt. If you still doubt at this point, you're being unreasonable, by definition.), and yet, if a woman had chosen to date me, I guarantee she wouldn't be complaining about all the things I hear them complain about with the men they do pick. How else am I supposed to feel when I've been passed up for the most important element of the human experience because of mere looks and autism?

Not that dating is the only issue, anyway. Even back during that brief period of my life when I had "friends," I still didn't feel all that "human." I've never really fit in with anyone, anywhere, before. And even then, I always felt like I didn't belong, like I was invited along out of obligation, or to keep up social face by not leaving someone out. I was always an afterthought, at best. Like I've never really mattered to anyone.

And yet, if I had a gf, all of that would clear up, wouldn't it. I'd feel wanted, I'd feel like I finally belong, I'd finally feel human. And if I couldn't make friends in addition to getting a gf, no big deal; I've heard normies say your gf is supposed to be your best friend, too. So two birds with one stone, so they say. Not to mention my depression, which is almost entirely rooted in these social issues, would no longer have fuel to keep it going. My addiction to alcohol and edibles would no longer have a reason to persist. Having a gf would introduce so many positive changes to my life, while only introducing a few negative things, like having to deal with a creature that's physically grown, but mentally a child (i.e., a woman). But it would be worth. As long as she doesn't have progeny from other dudes to deal with.

But I've never been given that choice. I've never been allowed. Oh well. At least I can laugh at the foids who pick the abusive men, the men who are disloyal and leave, and all the other shitty, terrible men they want to get together with just because they're tall, attractive, and neurotypical. They made the choice, the reap the repercussions, and my popcorn is in the microwave.
 
And you most likely never will.
Accept the whitepill as your only saving grace.
No, I cannot pretend to be happy, or even content, with the life I've been given. I'd rather not waste the effort. It's just so much easier to be melancholy.
 

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