Tarquinius
Disregard my larping efforts. I can't change it.
★★★★
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2022
- Posts
- 3,336
The snow is melting, spring has come. It has been a cold, hard winter. I can feel in my bones that it is time again. Time for me to drive into the city, raise mayhem, and meet my eternal nemesis.
Somehow, every bouncer in this country has a sixth sense that tells them they must discriminate towards me. Even if I've barely had a few drinks, they try to cut me off. They ambush me. They try to remove me from the premises.
But they think I am prey and they are the predator, and I quickly disabuse them of this notion. I may be stumbling, unable to talk, but I am always ready to meet their challenge. I have 3 confirmed victories over their kind at this point and I am always willing to expand that record. In none of these cases have I been the aggressor.
Last year a filthy pig interceded in my contest and I ended up with a deferred charge. I have beaten the court system and once again am a free man. If I get charged again it will be defeated and I will get away Scott free again.
It's open season. If you are a filthy bouncer who wants to attack me because I'm having a good time; you are warned. If you transgress you will be embarrassed and destroyed. I will drink in your bar, and there is nothing you can do to stop me.
Somehow, every bouncer in this country has a sixth sense that tells them they must discriminate towards me. Even if I've barely had a few drinks, they try to cut me off. They ambush me. They try to remove me from the premises.
But they think I am prey and they are the predator, and I quickly disabuse them of this notion. I may be stumbling, unable to talk, but I am always ready to meet their challenge. I have 3 confirmed victories over their kind at this point and I am always willing to expand that record. In none of these cases have I been the aggressor.
Last year a filthy pig interceded in my contest and I ended up with a deferred charge. I have beaten the court system and once again am a free man. If I get charged again it will be defeated and I will get away Scott free again.
It's open season. If you are a filthy bouncer who wants to attack me because I'm having a good time; you are warned. If you transgress you will be embarrassed and destroyed. I will drink in your bar, and there is nothing you can do to stop me.