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Venting It will NEVER stop. NEVER. Slowly dying inside

TheGrayWolf

TheGrayWolf

Lonely. Until the end of time | 5'4
★★★★★
Joined
Dec 11, 2022
Posts
10,637
So first I saw a 6‘4 chad with his pretty gf they didn’t see me, I felt very envious

But today again. People make me sad.

I had earphones in today and took them off for paying - I had to go buy groceries, and of course I’m so unlucky, as always, that in the exact moment I leave the small store,
a boomer couple walks past and they make a joke about my head. The stares, mumbles, pointing fingers, „jokes“ I overhear being said about me… I spend the rest of the day licking my wounds, I feel so down

I feel like I’m slowly dying because of such people, of which there are many.
 
I had earphones in today and took them off for paying
Get yourself some running earphones that allow you to hear things in your immediate area. You'll never need to take them out.

But damn, that is so fucking brutal. I know that you said that you have some sort of deformity but damn..... that has to be so hard to get laughed at in public. How did you survive school?
 
So first I saw a 6‘4 chad with his pretty gf they didn’t see me, I felt very envious

But today again. People make me sad.

I had earphones in today and took them off for paying - I had to go buy groceries, and of course I’m so unlucky, as always, that in the exact moment I leave the small store,
a boomer couple walks past and they make a joke about my head. The stares, mumbles, pointing fingers, „jokes“ I overhear being said about me… I spend the rest of the day licking my wounds, I feel so down

I feel like I’m slowly dying because of such people, of which there are many.
That's so brutal dude, I feel like you need to spend more time hanging around truecels. I am so bored, I am hanging around fakecels or failed normies on Discord and it's brutal knowing how easy their lives are due to not being ugly. We are not even seen as human like they are. Forget about ascending we just want to go outside not be stared at, made fun of, treated like shit or avoided by people. We just want to be normie but we can't because we are sub4. It hurts so much. I wish we could live like normies or chads, I hate being sub4 so much and I know you do too.
 
you should try becoming the next hamudi or film black pill vlogs. Whenever I’m out In public and getting mogged I like to pretend like I’m making a blackpill video in my head to cope
 
Get yourself some running earphones that allow you to hear things in your immediate area. You'll never need to take them out.
I actually have those. Very good ones for the price (€50).

But damn, that is so fucking brutal. I know that you said that you have some sort of deformity but damn..... that has to be so hard to get laughed at in public.
Yea, it is, I mean it was all going more or less ok (what I don’t know can’t hurt me, if you get what I mean?). Then I left the store with my TYPICAL bad timing… but society just sucks ass.

How did you survive school?
Barely…it was very similar back then. I got bullied.My head and face started to drastically when I was between 12-14. Nobody knows why or how.
 
So first I saw a 6‘4 chad with his pretty gf they didn’t see me, I felt very envious

But today again. People make me sad.

I had earphones in today and took them off for paying - I had to go buy groceries, and of course I’m so unlucky, as always, that in the exact moment I leave the small store,
a boomer couple walks past and they make a joke about my head. The stares, mumbles, pointing fingers, „jokes“ I overhear being said about me… I spend the rest of the day licking my wounds, I feel so down

I feel like I’m slowly dying because of such people, of which there are many.
Brutal :(. Society shows us no remorse and it is so unfair.
 
That's so brutal dude, I feel like you need to spend more time hanging around truecels.
I am available on DC and I will try and reply in due time, when I have the time, energy and when I‘m not super-depressed, that’s how I do it with everyone. BTW there are plenty of truecels here. Like Mistake. Also I prefer here to DC anyways, always have. You know how unintentionally busy I am dude. I don’t need even more pressure than I already got from life and my parents

I am so bored, I am hanging around fakecels or failed normies on Discord and it's brutal knowing how easy their lives are due to not being ugly. We are not even seen as human like they are. Forget about ascending we just want to go outside not be stared at, made fun of, treated like shit or avoided by people. We just want to be normie but we can't because we are sub4. It hurts so much. I wish we could live like normies or chads, I hate being sub4 so much and I know you do too.
Yes, who wouldn’t.
 
BTW there are plenty of truecels here. Like Mistake. Also I prefer here to DC anyways, always have. You know how unintentionally busy I am dude. I don’t need even more pressure than I already got from life and my parents
It's ironic none of the truecels are active or social like they prefer to wallow in their despair instead of chatting and feeling better, it's far easier to get social interaction on a normie or fakecel server. Like, wtf?
 
Brutal :(. Society shows us no remorse and it is so unfair.
Yes. And whenever I feel „good“ for a fleeting moment… the many memories just come flooding back. And I never hurt anyone, nor would I never - for many reasons. But still, I get shit from society.
 
It's ironic none of the truecels are active or social like they prefer to wallow in their despair instead of chatting and feeling better, it's far easier to get social interaction on a normie or fakecel server. Like, wtf?
No no, that’s not how it is in my case. I just don’t want a fixed time to chat, that’s all. I don’t do that with anyone. Otherwise I know wallowing in my despair isn’t helping. What would make me feel the best is dying in my sleep.
 
No no, that’s not how it is in my case. I just don’t want a fixed time to chat, that’s all. I don’t do that with anyone. Otherwise I know wallowing in my despair isn’t helping. What would make me feel the best is dying in my sleep.
Dude, you don't need to die, future technology can save you. Your disfigurement can be fixed, there are other truecels out there as well, maybe someday we will have a movement against lookism. The future can be very bright, dream of all the possibilities like fully immersive VR, robot wives, and sex with beautiful women. It's all possible fill your head with those fantasies and the suicidal desire will reduce.

I can understand you don't want a fixed time and that's ok. How do you handle your free time, if you want to feel better try day-dreaming and lucid dreaming.
 
Is surgery to fix your face not possible?
 
Dude, you don't need to die, future technology can save you. Your disfigurement can be fixed, there are other truecels out there as well, maybe someday we will have a movement against lookism. The future can be very bright, dream of all the possibilities like fully immersive VR, robot wives, and sex with beautiful women. It's all possible fill your head with those fantasies and the suicidal desire will reduce.
If I can achieve this state of mind, it would great. I will try, thank you!

I can understand you don't want a fixed time and that's ok. How do you handle your free time, if you want to feel better try day-dreaming and lucid dreaming.
In my free time I try and reply/comment here/on dc, watch yt, read, watching cartoons or movies, audiobooks while I do household stuff. Also sometimes just lay in bed.
I‘ve had about 3 or 4 lucid dreams in the last 10 years. Unintentional, all of them, and only one was kinda nice. Funny thing is, my dreams are almost always very creative and bizarre, and I always think it’s real life! Lol. No matter how weird or impossible. No matter what buildings or landscapes my mind makes up (I never dream of fantasy creatures or anything like that though.)

I have tried looking into it before, how to increase the odds of having a lucid dream. Once I think I slipped into one, got excited and when I woke. But I’ll keep trying! If only I could fall asleep quickly, but ig this can be trained too
 
People truly are scumbags. My biggest anger in this world is there is no point even killing one (It wouldn't be enough) just to rot in prison if I can't kill them all. So I just seethe and try to move on. Cunts.
 
Is surgery to fix your face not possible?
Well it’s complicated. I have talked to 5 surgeons. And there are a few problems. Next to cost, a few things just can’t be fixed for the time being. As in, impossible. My head shape and dimensions ensure that. Secondly I have lots of nerves surrounding jaw, eye and cheekbone tissues. If you cut one of those - and that can quickly happen - it would be really bad. And lastly what can be „fixed“ won’t improve my looks so much that it’s worth the risks and costs. I don’t have any skin deformities or anything. Both sides of my face are extremely weird. Sometimes too much bone. In other places none where there should be. Also a balloon/peanut kind of head, a face that kind of curves if you look closely. The proportions/distances between face features are a problem and cannot be fixed. Neither can my extreme eye asymmetry without extremely risky and complicated surgery. One of the most complicated surgeries that exist. And anyway, I don’t look much better with sunglasses on.
 
People truly are scumbags. My biggest anger in this world is there is no point even killing one (It wouldn't be enough) just to rot in prison if I can't kill them all. So I just seethe and try to move on. Cunts.
Yup, same thinking here. I go through cycles of sadness, apathy and anger.

And I try to wear a hat and earphones, as in „what I don’t know can’t hurt me“… but I made the mistake of not putting my other earphone in again and playing music. I wouldn’t have heard them
 
Yup, same thinking here. I go through cycles of sadness, apathy and anger.

And I try to wear a hat and earphones, as in „what I don’t know can’t hurt me“… but I made the mistake of not putting my other earphone in again and playing music. I wouldn’t have heard them
I have paranoid schizophrenia so I get mentally unhinged VERY easily out in public. People always muttering and talking shit and I'm certain I hear what they're saying but I can't even trust my own brain. It's absolute hell.
 
Well it’s complicated. I have talked to 5 surgeons. And there are a few problems. Next to cost, a few things just can’t be fixed for the time being. As in, impossible. My head shape and dimensions ensure that. Secondly I have lots of nerves surrounding jaw, eye and cheekbone tissues. If you cut one of those - and that can quickly happen - it would be really bad. And lastly what can be „fixed“ won’t improve my looks so much that it’s worth the risks and costs. I don’t have any skin deformities or anything. Both sides of my face are extremely weird. Sometimes too much bone. In other places none where there should be. Also a balloon/peanut kind of head, a face that kind of curves if you look closely. The proportions/distances between face features are a problem and cannot be fixed. Neither can my extreme eye asymmetry without extremely risky and complicated surgery. One of the most complicated surgeries that exist. And anyway, I don’t look much better with sunglasses on.
Over
 
You are ugly, deformed and short. And possibly not so rich either.

you want me to lie to you?

maybe an obese landwhale in her late 30s will give you a chance.
 
You are ugly, deformed and short. And possibly not so rich either.

you want me to lie to you?

maybe an obese landwhale in her late 30s will give you a chance.
I was being sarcastic, man
 
You are ugly, deformed and short. And possibly not so rich either.

you want me to lie to you?

maybe an obese landwhale in her late 30s will give you a chance.
Your comment was a bit obvious and apathetic imo, no offense, just how I perceived it
 
Your comment was a bit obvious and apathetic imo, no offense, just how I perceived it
But its ok to have hope, maybe in the future the medical field can help you better
 
I have anhedonia
No problem. Sometimes I have that too I think, also i guess my sarcasm wasn’t obvious

But its ok to have hope, maybe in the future the medical field can help you better
Yeah, I’m hoping for that, I‘d be glad if I just looked slightly normal, I don’t ever expect to get a gf considering I’m in my very late 20s
 
Going outside always leaves me feeling more depressed and tired, especially because of normfags and they way they behave towards subhumans, like you've posted about.

Did you buy anything nice to eat/ drink from the store?
 
Going outside always leaves me feeling more depressed and tired, especially because of normfags and they way they behave towards subhumans, like you've posted about.

Did you buy anything nice to eat/ drink from the store?
yeah, ingredients for ham pizza, apples, crisps, nutella, beer and coca cola
 

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