the thing that bothers me the most is the fact i have to stay inside and try to find peace in solitude while normies and stacys get to have a nice social life and be able to enjoy things with company by their side. if i go out i will be ridiculed and mocked for x,y and z. maybe its just me because i have ruined my reputation being a jester for a few years but it really fills me with rage. i cant take this anymore seeing the people who used to mock me have nice social life's so easily. why cant i have that? after growing up a bit i kinda saw things for what they were. if ur sub 5 u can only have friends by bringing something to the table (jestering, buying food etc) then they will leave u once they get bored. i have been isolated for years and will be laughed back into my home its to the point i dont even wanna go fishing and go for walks in nature because they have destroyed my ego so severely.ive had very dark days in my isolation where i didnt talk for weeks i dont know how to describe how im feeling other than defeated, i fucking hate this world i want to rope its over.
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