Deleted member 7448
Name is Abdu, live in Laos, born on 24.08.1992.
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- Joined
- May 16, 2018
- Posts
- 7,127
Idk, maybe I'm low T, but I've always thought money and career to be a much more important part of life than relationships/love/sex etc...
I don't know if I'm a smart or dumb person, sometimes I genuinely believe I'm retarded, sometimes I naively think I'm a lowkey wise genius. But one thing is for sure is that intelligence is the one thing that I could cling to since I was a child, telling myself that I'm not a loser in EVERY imaginable way, I'm smarter than everyone so that being weak and unathletic, antisocial and autistic and with no friends is fine.
Either way, if I'm dumb or smart, I have this sense of superiority deep down in my bones that I hide very well. But seeing people my age or younger totally surpassing me when it comes to money and career, it fucking hurts. It shatters my sense of identity. It shoves it into my face the fact that I'm actually a loser even at this, I don't have one thing that I'm good at.
As a kid I accepted that I was weak, I accepted that I don't do well socially and I'm an outcast. All that was left was intelligence. And yet reality proves it to me so often that I'm bad even at this.
I don't know if I'm a smart or dumb person, sometimes I genuinely believe I'm retarded, sometimes I naively think I'm a lowkey wise genius. But one thing is for sure is that intelligence is the one thing that I could cling to since I was a child, telling myself that I'm not a loser in EVERY imaginable way, I'm smarter than everyone so that being weak and unathletic, antisocial and autistic and with no friends is fine.
Either way, if I'm dumb or smart, I have this sense of superiority deep down in my bones that I hide very well. But seeing people my age or younger totally surpassing me when it comes to money and career, it fucking hurts. It shatters my sense of identity. It shoves it into my face the fact that I'm actually a loser even at this, I don't have one thing that I'm good at.
As a kid I accepted that I was weak, I accepted that I don't do well socially and I'm an outcast. All that was left was intelligence. And yet reality proves it to me so often that I'm bad even at this.