It feels weird looking back on my suicidal thoughts

[SupremeAutist]

I had a lot of them in october-november. I got the feeling that I would never be able to get any kind of enjoyment out of my life and that I might as well just end it now. Even the short-terms copes that I normally use didn't seem like enough. It's hard to describe but I know that if I had something to try overdose on at the time I was in that state I would have done it

 

[biggestloser]

it wont get better

 

[SupremeAutist]

this thread barely has any meaning just drunk ramblings tbh

 

[SupremeAutist]

it wont get better

i can't accept that thoughj

 

[biggestloser]

i can't accept that thoughj

youll have to one day

 

[SupremeAutist]

I CAN'T ACCEPT THINGS STAYING LIKE THIS THEY HAVE TO CHANGE I CAN'T BE LIKE THIS MY WHOLE LIFE

 

[SupremeAutist]

youll have to one day

 

[DeliriousMerchant]

I had a lot of them in october-november. I got the feeling that I would never be able to get any kind of enjoyment out of my life and that I might as well just end it now. Even the short-terms copes that I normally use didn't seem like enough. It's hard to describe but I know that if I had something to try overdose on at the time I was in that state I would have done it

Do you feel a change in perception right now? What has added in value or made you feel like you should feel different currently?

 

[DarkStar]

I CAN'T ACCEPT THINGS STAYING LIKE THIS THEY HAVE TO CHANGE I CAN'T BE LIKE THIS MY WHOLE LIFE

Dude, it's as if guys like us were born to be tortured and suffer for some sick demented cosmic beings enjoyment

 

[biggestloser]

Dude, it's as if guys like us were born to be tortured and suffer for some sick demented cosmic beings enjoyment

 

[biggestloser]

Dude, it's as if guys like us were born to be tortured and suffer for some sick demented cosmic beings enjoyment

we most likely live in a simulation

 

[DeliriousMerchant]

Imagine if I worship God all my life and then die to something like a pitbull attack and realize last minute I won't be reincarnated in Paradise

 

[DeliriousMerchant]

Dude, it's as if guys like us were born to be tortured and suffer for some sick demented cosmic beings enjoyment

Would you prefer an afterlife?

 

[SupremeAutist]

Do you feel a change in perception right now? What has added in value or made you feel like you should feel different currently?

That's the thing that confuses me. I don't know. It feels like my brain is just fucking with me. There's no specific experience or advice that I've heard that makes me feel suicidal or not. It just happens.

I think part of the reason I do feel better now though is because I'm spending less time around people. I've been spending most of the last 2 months at home alone and I've felt better

 

[drowningindenial]

I CAN'T ACCEPT THINGS STAYING LIKE THIS THEY HAVE TO CHANGE I CAN'T BE LIKE THIS MY WHOLE LIFE

 

[SupremeAutist]

Would you prefer an afterlife?

Depends what it's like imo

 

[SupremeAutist]

Dude, it's as if guys like us were born to be tortured and suffer for some sick demented cosmic beings enjoyment

I swear it's just some guy messing about with some simulation thinking "I wonder how these guys will react if I put them through this"

 

[DeliriousMerchant]

Depends what it's like imo

Honestly, and I'm not even trying to provide suicfuel, but my life would've been nought if I was 5'3 realm

 

[SupremeAutist]

Honestly, and I'm not even trying to provide suicfuel, but my life would've been nought if I was 5'3 realm

Same man. If I had any worse traits than I had now I don't know how I'd cope. I'm 5'6 and if I was 3 inches shorter I don't know what I'd do

 

[DarkStar]

Imagine if I worship God all my life and then die to something like a pitbull attack and realize last minute I won't be reincarnated in Paradise

Brutal, you'll always be free to join me in Hyperborea then.

Would you prefer an afterlife?

YES

100%

If I was certain of one and was guaranteed a happy life there, I would do whatever it takes in this life to get there.

Depends what it's like imo

We're destined to experience pleasure and what we were denied of in the Otherworld or Tír na nóg which translates to "land of youth"

I swear it's just some guy messing about with some simulation thinking "I wonder how these guys will react if I put them through this"

I read something somewhere once about how some theorize human suffering is "astral parasites" leeching off energy to survive.

But yeah, I feel what you mean. If God is real, he should stop torturing us.

Same man. If I had any worse traits than I had now I don't know how I'd cope. I'm 5'6 and if I was 3 inches shorter I don't know what I'd do

If I had lost more hair and was bald or semi-bald already, idk what I would have done

I'm 5'8.5-5'9 and if I was shorter in the JewSA, idk what I'd do.

Every guy shorter than me who had any success was HTNlite minimum, NT, and also athletemaxxed

If my eye-area was more fucked, I'd probably look like a rapist tbh.

 

[CPTSDfree]

Suicide is gay soy

 

[Todd Thundercock]

I feel strange looking back at my suicidal stretch 9 years ago.

I was so downtrodden about never finding love in my life. It trumped any financial concerns, which were inevitable in my path, but still quite a few years away.

Now I look back at those feelings and I was foolish investing so much effort into that. It's not my fault and there's little I could have done find that love. Sure, I could have betabuxed, oofy doofy, been a pushover to some bitch. But those are the only options which I never wanted anyway. This is why I think accepting blackpill, and eventually whitepill after that, was a big benefit to my life.

It also helps that everything worked out in the end. I got diagnosed with autism, guaranteeing me NEETbux for life. Now I'm comfy. Still empty, there's a soul here still with tons of love to give that will always be locked away, but comfy.

 

[DeliriousMerchant]

Brutal, you'll always be free to join me in Hyperborea then.

Shiiet

We're destined to experience pleasure and what we were denied of in the Otherworld or Tír na nóg which translates to "land of youth"

It doesn't work unless magical Stacy pulls up with her horsemen and asks for your hand in marriage. Oisín was a slayer. Irish folklore is probably really broad but school focused on the tame stories

 

[DarkStar]

Shiiet
View attachment 1353442


It doesn't work unless magical Stacy pulls up with her horsemen and asks for your hand in marriage. Oisín was a slayer. Irish folklore is probably really broad but school focused on the tame stories

I wish Celtic/Gaelic mythology was more common/popular