Blackpill Schizo Post: I go back and forth in my beliefs

[Icarus]

On most days I'm mad at the world, everything is bleak and depressing. I go back and forth on the concept of God, and I hate not knowing.

In some aspects there is some type of force present that acts somewhat spiritual, but it's hard to see the good in a world so bad.

I'm still mad at god, if there is a god. I still believe that we are in a hell realm, and I still believe that the creator of this place is evil.

However there has to be a reason why I'm here. And there has to be a way to escape.

I think we downplay ourselves because we are afraid of our own potential. All of this is to say that I know nothing, and neither do you.

I'm not even sure I'm really here sometimes. I wish I had the power to control this, but I don't.

As the days go on I am starting to lose it more and more. My mental state is deteriorating.

Sometimes I don't even make sense to myself. I am like a foreign object that acts off of impulse.

I wish I knew why I was here, and I long for a reason.

 

[light]

read every word

 

[Icarus]

read every word

Thanks fren

 

[light]

I am like a foreign object that acts off of impulse.

this is so true mang. none of us are ourselves. the determinismpill is brutal

 

[Icarus]

this is so true mang. none of us are ourselves. the determinismpill is brutal

Who do you think you are outside of this place? I honestly have no clue.

 

[light]

Who do you think you are outside of this place? I honestly have no clue.

i keep changing my mind and its because there is no way to be certain. it doesnt matter what you believe. what life really is will only be revealed to those who are dead

 

[Icarus]

i keep changing my mind and its because there is no way to be certain. it doesnt matter what you believe. what life really is will only be revealed to those who are dead

Very true