I'm stuck in a small town, living with my grandparents, and have to share the room with my stepdad.
Sure, it's better than being homeless, but I'm about 4k in debt, and now I have to find a job, buy there's no place outside of town that will accept me, nor any apartment that would accept me because of my recent eviction.
My only option is to work at a fruit factory and I don't know how I'm going to do it, having to work 12 hours a day, IDC if there are 3-4 days off, I'd have to come home and have no privacy. No place to think without being surrounded by everyone, and I genuinely want to die.
It'd be much easier if I had something going for me, like someone to live, but there's nothing there! And even if I looked, I would be rejected and just catfished!
I hate my life, and even though I'm a "Christian", I'm just about done with everything. I try to remain hopeful, but so far it's just disappointment after disappointment, and there's no one around who can understand me.
I have no motivation whatsoever, not even to go to college, because it's too late for me, and the last time I went, I became suicidal.
I don't know what to do anymore, and I just want out. I don't think anything good will come, and I'll be stuck working at a fruit factory for the rest of my life. And I don't even know how I'll make it with getting a driver's license! I can't take another month in this wretched town!
I wonder if my method would work, because I knew that something like this was bound to happen! To be stuck with no means! And am unable to do it in this kinda environment; I love with my stepdad's parent's, and we have a cat and a dog. So all I'm down to is my adrenaline technique. It wouldn't work by default, but I can just condition my body through dry fasting and induce a subarachnoid hemorrhage.
I guess it'll be my last resort should I get sick of waiting. But then again, somehow God will just give me strength and keep me from dying.
I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of struggling when I have no real reason to go on like this. What even is the point of working and shit if there's nothing waiting for you? It's all just going to be the same like groundhog day.
I feel like I'm going to snap. And then I'll be in a worse situation.
And I'm just in the type of mood where if someone tries giving me platitudes, I might give into my strong urge to gutpunch them so hard I might bust through their torso, or give them jaundice.
Sure, it's better than being homeless, but I'm about 4k in debt, and now I have to find a job, buy there's no place outside of town that will accept me, nor any apartment that would accept me because of my recent eviction.
My only option is to work at a fruit factory and I don't know how I'm going to do it, having to work 12 hours a day, IDC if there are 3-4 days off, I'd have to come home and have no privacy. No place to think without being surrounded by everyone, and I genuinely want to die.
It'd be much easier if I had something going for me, like someone to live, but there's nothing there! And even if I looked, I would be rejected and just catfished!
I hate my life, and even though I'm a "Christian", I'm just about done with everything. I try to remain hopeful, but so far it's just disappointment after disappointment, and there's no one around who can understand me.
I have no motivation whatsoever, not even to go to college, because it's too late for me, and the last time I went, I became suicidal.
I don't know what to do anymore, and I just want out. I don't think anything good will come, and I'll be stuck working at a fruit factory for the rest of my life. And I don't even know how I'll make it with getting a driver's license! I can't take another month in this wretched town!
I wonder if my method would work, because I knew that something like this was bound to happen! To be stuck with no means! And am unable to do it in this kinda environment; I love with my stepdad's parent's, and we have a cat and a dog. So all I'm down to is my adrenaline technique. It wouldn't work by default, but I can just condition my body through dry fasting and induce a subarachnoid hemorrhage.
I guess it'll be my last resort should I get sick of waiting. But then again, somehow God will just give me strength and keep me from dying.
I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of struggling when I have no real reason to go on like this. What even is the point of working and shit if there's nothing waiting for you? It's all just going to be the same like groundhog day.
I feel like I'm going to snap. And then I'll be in a worse situation.
And I'm just in the type of mood where if someone tries giving me platitudes, I might give into my strong urge to gutpunch them so hard I might bust through their torso, or give them jaundice.
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