While I don't really talk to him too much anymore, for a multitude of reasons, a couple things which my father has mentioned several times in the past seriously confuse me.
The first thing I'd like to mention, is how he would tell me that I'm good looking, or something like "you don't realize how good looking you are". I've actually questioned him about this before, and how exactly it could be accurate to suggest that I'm attractive when I've never had a gf, when I was endlessly bullied for my appearance in school, or when I can swipe through every woman within a wide radius on dating apps but get absolutely nowhere. Of course he didn't know how to respond to this, other than to tell me that I just need to keep trying. Obviously it could be explained as him not being able to objectively view his own son's appearance, or alternatively he was trying to give me some false confidence of some sort for whatever reason.
But the first possible conclusion begins to make a lot less sense when you consider how he talks about my mother. It's important to note that they both hate each other to varying degrees, and they've been separated since I was 2 (young enough for me to not have any exactly identifiable memories of them together). Anyway he'd often say things to me like "she's the ugliest woman that I've ever been with" or that he "didn't marry her for her appearance", evidently without realizing how utterly inconsiderate it is for him to tell me this shit without apologizing to me at all, not for speaking negatively about my mother, but rather for knowingly creating a kid who he knew would likely be unattractive. Even worse than that, he somehow doesn't realize how this contradicts his other claims about me somehow being good looking, or worse still, he thinks that I'm too stupid to see the contradiction. Keep in mind my dad isn't a particularly attractive guy himself, probably around a 4.5 low-tier normie in his youth (possibly even a 4).
The funniest part of it all is that I look far more like my mother than I look like him, and given all of this it's hard to see it as anything other than my father being unwilling to tell me what he can actually discern about my appearance.
On a somewhat related note, you want to know something pretty fucking sad? When I was a kid, even as young as 10-12, I knew that it was bad to look like my mother. Not due to anything that my father said (he never called her ugly to me until I was an adult), but rather when my mother would tell me how much I look like her, I would cringe. That is to say, even at such a young age I could objectively view the appearance of my own mother, and understand how I would be negatively perceived as a result of looking like her. Quite frankly if she were born male, she'd have a fair chance of being a user here despite how much easier it was for men of her generation. I'm obviously not saying that to be mean, it's just honest. Lookism is fucking hell.
The first thing I'd like to mention, is how he would tell me that I'm good looking, or something like "you don't realize how good looking you are". I've actually questioned him about this before, and how exactly it could be accurate to suggest that I'm attractive when I've never had a gf, when I was endlessly bullied for my appearance in school, or when I can swipe through every woman within a wide radius on dating apps but get absolutely nowhere. Of course he didn't know how to respond to this, other than to tell me that I just need to keep trying. Obviously it could be explained as him not being able to objectively view his own son's appearance, or alternatively he was trying to give me some false confidence of some sort for whatever reason.
But the first possible conclusion begins to make a lot less sense when you consider how he talks about my mother. It's important to note that they both hate each other to varying degrees, and they've been separated since I was 2 (young enough for me to not have any exactly identifiable memories of them together). Anyway he'd often say things to me like "she's the ugliest woman that I've ever been with" or that he "didn't marry her for her appearance", evidently without realizing how utterly inconsiderate it is for him to tell me this shit without apologizing to me at all, not for speaking negatively about my mother, but rather for knowingly creating a kid who he knew would likely be unattractive. Even worse than that, he somehow doesn't realize how this contradicts his other claims about me somehow being good looking, or worse still, he thinks that I'm too stupid to see the contradiction. Keep in mind my dad isn't a particularly attractive guy himself, probably around a 4.5 low-tier normie in his youth (possibly even a 4).
The funniest part of it all is that I look far more like my mother than I look like him, and given all of this it's hard to see it as anything other than my father being unwilling to tell me what he can actually discern about my appearance.
On a somewhat related note, you want to know something pretty fucking sad? When I was a kid, even as young as 10-12, I knew that it was bad to look like my mother. Not due to anything that my father said (he never called her ugly to me until I was an adult), but rather when my mother would tell me how much I look like her, I would cringe. That is to say, even at such a young age I could objectively view the appearance of my own mother, and understand how I would be negatively perceived as a result of looking like her. Quite frankly if she were born male, she'd have a fair chance of being a user here despite how much easier it was for men of her generation. I'm obviously not saying that to be mean, it's just honest. Lookism is fucking hell.
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