Is feeling sorry for yourself less cucked than hating yourself?

[GaveItALLiGotCel]

I’ve had damn near zero empathy or compassion for myself for a long time despite my life being a pile of shit for the last decade. Abusing myself mentally / emotionally or even physically was my go to coping mechanism when I first started getting screwed up mentally. It just comes so naturally to me.

Maybe it would be wise for me to give myself like 1 full month to just really feel sorry for myself and what my life and I have become instead of beating a dead horse with a never ending supply of self-loathing.

Thoughts?

 

[Defetivecuckachu]

This sounds like semantics to me. Is there a difference?

I hit rock bottom in my early 30s, that's when I really absorbed and accepted the fact that I wasn't going to have a family of my own and that whole normie life.

And with that understanding that I'd already missed the boat, came a kind of peace.... the urgent fear of missing out, got replaced with a more manageable, background sadness about having already missed out.

I don't know if that perspective is of any help?

 

[Med Anime]

what's the difference?
in both cases you acknowledge the fact that you're ugly and hideous and your situation won't be better in the future.
i would consider feeling sorry for your self is less mentally tiring since you won't obsess with things you can't change but if you're self hating then all your mental strength will be poured into hating your own body.

 

[GaveItALLiGotCel]

what's the difference?
in both cases you acknowledge the fact that you're ugly and hideous and your situation won't be better in the future.
i would consider feeling sorry for your self is less mentally tiring since you won't obsess with things you can't change but if you're self hating then all your mental strength will be poured into hating your own body.

Would you feel sorry for someone you hate or vice versa?

 

[GaveItALLiGotCel]

This sounds like semantics to me. Is there a difference?

I hit rock bottom in my early 30s, that's when I really absorbed and accepted the fact that I wasn't going to have a family of my own and that whole normie life.

And with that understanding that I'd already missed the boat, came a kind of peace.... the urgent fear of missing out, got replaced with a more manageable, background sadness about having already missed out.

I don't know if that perspective is of any help?

Feeling sorry for yourself seems like it has more self-compassion involved.

 

[Med Anime]

Would you feel sorry for someone you hate or vice versa?

i could hate someone who have it better than me so it's quite non logical to feel sorry for him.
i would feel sorry for someone i hate but have it worse than me in life.

 

[GaveItALLiGotCel]

i could hate someone who have it better than me so it's quite non logical to feel sorry for him.
i would feel sorry for someone i hate but have it worse than me in life.

My thing is that when it comes to my pain and suffering I tell myself I DESERVE IT because I’m a piece of shit. Where I think someone that feels sorry for themself would be like “this isn’t fair” or “why me?”. I think that’s the difference.

 

[Erick]

I don't have much self-empathy either. Never had. But it's always better to take it out on humans than animals. Animals have always helped me. Like my dog who helps me not to be so lonely sometimes.

 

[GaveItALLiGotCel]

They wouldn’t think they deserve it.

 

[GaveItALLiGotCel]

I don't have much self-empathy either. Never had. But it's always better to take it out on humans than animals. Animals have always helped me. Like my dog who helps me not to be so lonely sometimes.

That’s good your dog helps you cope a bit. I kinda miss this cat I used to have as a kid. Should have appreciated her more back then.

 

[Defetivecuckachu]

Feeling sorry for yourself seems like it has more self-compassion involved.

The only difference I see is the words are less violent.

I get it.... my journey with inceldom has involved a lot of feeling sorry for myself, and less hashtag blackpiller rage. I've never really  hated women in the way that is trendy on here. Attraction seems to come from the subconscious, the lizard part of the brain makes people go to potential mates that make them feel certain things. I don't hate anyone for breathing, or hate gravity for working. So I've always seen my total rejection by women as just a sad fact of nature, like the virus that killed a few of my chickens this year. It's not something that anyone wants, or something that any one malignant villain did, it just is.

The Christians have a thing "grant me the grace to accept things I cannot change" - I like that.