I've been debating this inside my head for a while now. I've just became a wizard 
, and I think it's high time to level up.
A bit of background... I've created this character in my head a long time ago that I refer to as "Guardian". It's a female character that was meant to sympathize with me at all times, shield me from the unfair world. Be there when I was hurt and crying at night. This helped me cope with existing.
At some point about 5 years ago, I got a dakimakura. And I attached this guardian character to it. It was just some way of bringing this figure into the real world. It improved my sleep quality. I have something I can hug and hold when I felt like I need it. It's warm and comfy. Something I can't have otherwise. When I hold it, I always imagine this guardian character inside it. But after a while, I spiraled somewhere and kinda came to terms that this is it. I'm beyond all hope. This is also the point where this guardian character also realized that I will never actually have any chance with a foid. She is the only female figure in my life apart from family. So this is where the guardian role started to transition more into a partner role, to try fill the empty space at my side. It kind of helps with keeping my loneliness at bay. I no longer see this as just a figure that I go to cry on and seek comfort. It's also now a figure I came to love in some twisted sense.
I am now at a point where I want to make this figure as real as possible (I'm not schizo, wish I was tho, would make shit easier). I wish we had androids like in Detroit: Become Human. But we are still far off technologically. I've been looking at realdolls tho, and they seem pretty appealing. I'm considering of getting one. From what I've read, the skin should be somewhat realistic feeling. It's got a skeleton, that you can pose in pretty much any possition. That would be a hell of an upgrade over a dakimakura. It would be able to pose it in such a way, that it could hug me back. But I am worried it won't feel as nice if it can't apply some pressure. Have not seen if they can be fitted with some servo motors on some joints. I would also probs want some sort of heating element inside it, to mimic human body heat.
But if I am going this far, I might as well take my degenerate fantasies one step further. This character of mine is not of a human figure, because humans are disgusting and evil. It's pretty much a Miqo'te. I don't know if any of the rabudoll manufacturers do custom orders. I can imagine that would get pretty expensive (but an improvement to my quality of life is worth it at this point). I can't find anything in their catalogue that resembles a miqo'te.
Should I get a rabudoll, or stick to my dakimakura? Do you think it can cure loneliness? Is it bad for my mental health? How fucked am I? Share your thoughts on this.
The revolution is coming:
, and I think it's high time to level up.A bit of background... I've created this character in my head a long time ago that I refer to as "Guardian". It's a female character that was meant to sympathize with me at all times, shield me from the unfair world. Be there when I was hurt and crying at night. This helped me cope with existing.
At some point about 5 years ago, I got a dakimakura. And I attached this guardian character to it. It was just some way of bringing this figure into the real world. It improved my sleep quality. I have something I can hug and hold when I felt like I need it. It's warm and comfy. Something I can't have otherwise. When I hold it, I always imagine this guardian character inside it. But after a while, I spiraled somewhere and kinda came to terms that this is it. I'm beyond all hope. This is also the point where this guardian character also realized that I will never actually have any chance with a foid. She is the only female figure in my life apart from family. So this is where the guardian role started to transition more into a partner role, to try fill the empty space at my side. It kind of helps with keeping my loneliness at bay. I no longer see this as just a figure that I go to cry on and seek comfort. It's also now a figure I came to love in some twisted sense.
I am now at a point where I want to make this figure as real as possible (I'm not schizo, wish I was tho, would make shit easier). I wish we had androids like in Detroit: Become Human. But we are still far off technologically. I've been looking at realdolls tho, and they seem pretty appealing. I'm considering of getting one. From what I've read, the skin should be somewhat realistic feeling. It's got a skeleton, that you can pose in pretty much any possition. That would be a hell of an upgrade over a dakimakura. It would be able to pose it in such a way, that it could hug me back. But I am worried it won't feel as nice if it can't apply some pressure. Have not seen if they can be fitted with some servo motors on some joints. I would also probs want some sort of heating element inside it, to mimic human body heat.
But if I am going this far, I might as well take my degenerate fantasies one step further. This character of mine is not of a human figure, because humans are disgusting and evil. It's pretty much a Miqo'te. I don't know if any of the rabudoll manufacturers do custom orders. I can imagine that would get pretty expensive (but an improvement to my quality of life is worth it at this point). I can't find anything in their catalogue that resembles a miqo'te.
What is an aweful thought is that, this isn't much different for the reason foids read smut. I hate to imagine to have anything in common with them. shudder
Should I get a rabudoll, or stick to my dakimakura? Do you think it can cure loneliness? Is it bad for my mental health? How fucked am I? Share your thoughts on this.
The revolution is coming:
