I have no initiative to do anything on my own. I can't be happy alone, no friends and no meaningful relationships. Every time I feel I have a glimmer of an idea, an art project I want to work on, something I want to write, I fall back into depression loathing a future existance where even if I succeed in making money for some talent, it wouldn't matter if I'm still alone. I could be working at McDonald's or living in a million dollar mansion but I'd still be unhappy if I don't have a meaningful connection with someone I love. If I can't change the way I am or the way I look then my life will have been wasted. There's no point to living life if you're unhappy, I want to try to change but I'm constantly discouraged by being alone.
