I’m done coping and I’m done pretending like it’s somehow okay. I can’t take the pain of being emotionally numb anymore. I literally have no connection to humanity. Everyday is a fight just to exist and not want to kill myself from thinking about the reality of my life. I’m just so tired, I don’t want to fight anymore.
My struggle to survive has gotten me nowhere and I have no one who I can talk to irl. I post here due to being sent my own way by life. I think I would somehow get a human connection by being here but it’s just not the same.
Irl it was being mocked for my looks and people didn’t want to be my friend and girls didn’t want to be close to me. Online I’m mocked for my heritage and constantly accused of plotting or scheming due to being kike when I literally don’t even want to hurt the insects in my house, instead trying to grab them and throw them outside.
And of course pain of losing family members, who were my only reason to live. Any real emotional support I had irl is gone, and on this forum more and more I don’t feel like I can share anything either anymore. One old user (who was a notorious pedophile) made a video literally mocking the death of my family members. Why should I even share anything if I know there will be people reading who will just mock any sad life story I will share?
Today I realized I don’t have to carry this burden anymore. If I die, all of it will come to an end. There’s no reason for me to continue living anymore. I would no longer have to worry about people rejecting me irl or the people here using the stories I share to make a mockery out of it. Life is a living hell without people who genuinely care about you. So if you at least have your parents or siblings who care about you, don’t take it for granted. Because one day they will disappear, and you’ll end up sitting in your house no different than a living corpse like me.
My struggle to survive has gotten me nowhere and I have no one who I can talk to irl. I post here due to being sent my own way by life. I think I would somehow get a human connection by being here but it’s just not the same.
Irl it was being mocked for my looks and people didn’t want to be my friend and girls didn’t want to be close to me. Online I’m mocked for my heritage and constantly accused of plotting or scheming due to being kike when I literally don’t even want to hurt the insects in my house, instead trying to grab them and throw them outside.
And of course pain of losing family members, who were my only reason to live. Any real emotional support I had irl is gone, and on this forum more and more I don’t feel like I can share anything either anymore. One old user (who was a notorious pedophile) made a video literally mocking the death of my family members. Why should I even share anything if I know there will be people reading who will just mock any sad life story I will share?
Today I realized I don’t have to carry this burden anymore. If I die, all of it will come to an end. There’s no reason for me to continue living anymore. I would no longer have to worry about people rejecting me irl or the people here using the stories I share to make a mockery out of it. Life is a living hell without people who genuinely care about you. So if you at least have your parents or siblings who care about you, don’t take it for granted. Because one day they will disappear, and you’ll end up sitting in your house no different than a living corpse like me.
. When I started lurking here back in July 2021, I read a lot of threads and related a lot to them and felt like I had finally found a place I belong to, which ended up making me hooked to this forum and eventually I decided to make an account in December 2022. Now this shithole is just a shell of it's former self, I don't feel a sense of connection to this place anymore like I did back then, it feels more like a lion's den to me now.
