SuicideFuel I'm starting to see insects on the walls again.

[never_began0911]

Overly simplified, but I got diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder at 17 after telling my dad the walls were crawling with bugs. Dude always knew there was something wrong with me based on the way I always acted, so he dragged me to a psychiatrist; they put me on Risperidone and later Sertraline, which made me feel like a sedated normie for months, but at least the hallucinations stopped, the paranoia chilled out, and I could pass as semi-normal instead of some schizoid outcast, still an incel, no foids, no friends, nothing; I stayed on treatment for a few years and eventually even convinced myself I had ascended past it, like maybe I was just a late bloomer and not permanently doomed, so when the doctor tapered me off the meds, I went along with it, and for a few months everything was okay, just the usual baseline emptiness, but recently, whenever I’m lying in bed listening to music or just doing nothing, I see something shifting in the corner, those same tiny shapes crawling across the walls and ceiling again; I just freeze, thinking not this shit again, and now I catch myself checking the walls every night like some paranoid schizo, still incel, still isolated, and realizing I never really escaped it. I think that it might be time to rope, like, I actually can't do this again. I'm planning on doing nothing about it; I live alone now, and I don't have anyone to check on me. Dad lives hundreds of kilometers away, and Mom does not exist for me. I'm just going to let it go without any meds or anything; hopefully I get a psychotic episode, go full apeshit, kill some foids or do some stupid bullshit, and then rope.

Are there any other mentalcels around here that could share their most fucked up experiences?

 

[FoidsEnshittifyAll]

no cap, look into therapeutic keto that brings body ketones to 2.5 and shit. same with keto carnivore. they say it puts most schizo effects into remission. i legit believe it has to do with abnormal sugar levels and inflammatory compounds reaching ze brain... .

 

[ToBurble&Pine]

Are there any other mentalcels around here that could share their most fucked up experiences?

Happened to me too

I see bugs crawling in my room all the time

I even have a spider with its web in the corner of my room I won’t kill it because it’s helping me control bugs, I think I’ll turn into a bug soon if this continues

incels.is

 

[Reddit=Bandwagonism]

Hey man, sorry about what you’re going through. You can always DM me and we can talk. I’m curious about something, how do you know when you’re hallucinating? Like how can you differentiate between what’s real vs what’s a hallucination?

 

[never_began0911]

no cap, look into therapeutic keto that brings body ketones to 2.5 and shit. same with keto carnivore. they say it puts most schizo effects into remission. i legit believe it has to do with abnormal sugar levels and inflammatory compounds reaching ze brain... .

I'm willing to try anything as long as there's no meds involved. I will do some research on it, thank you.

 

[FastBlast]

Brutal. I thought you were going to talk about literal insects now that summer is approaching

 

[FoidsEnshittifyAll]

I'm willing to try anything as long as there's no meds involved. I will do some research on it, thank you.

you are welcome pal. best luck... .

 

[Sir Silentium]

but recently, whenever I’m lying in bed listening to music or just doing nothing, I see something shifting in the corner,

I'm not schizophrenic, but I can relate to this.

At night before bed, I would occasionally walk out of my room to brush my teeth and I'd see a black object move down the hall. A few times I was so sure it was real I started recording and walked over to the entrance of where I had seen it, but I couldn't find anything.

More recently, I had been seeing something out of my bedroom window. It's only at night, but I'd see something in my peripheral vision, and I would look at it but it would quickly disappear or hide after less than a second. The other night before bed I was browsing .is when I looked up into my mirror and saw the reflection of the window, with the most clear outline of a person. I thought for sure it was real, so I opened my door and peaked out for 15 minutes or so, waiting to see if it would walk around to the back door.

 

[never_began0911]

Happened to me too

I see bugs crawling in my room all the time

I even have a spider with its web in the corner of my room I won’t kill it because it’s helping me control bugs, I think I’ll turn into a bug soon if this continues

incels.is

Have you become a bug yet?

 

[GeckoBus]

Overly simplified, but I got diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder at 17 after telling my dad the walls were crawling with bugs. Dude always knew there was something wrong with me based on the way I always acted, so he dragged me to a psychiatrist; they put me on Risperidone and later Sertraline, which made me feel like a sedated normie for months, but at least the hallucinations stopped, the paranoia chilled out, and I could pass as semi-normal instead of some schizoid outcast, still an incel, no foids, no friends, nothing; I stayed on treatment for a few years and eventually even convinced myself I had ascended past it, like maybe I was just a late bloomer and not permanently doomed, so when the doctor tapered me off the meds, I went along with it, and for a few months everything was okay, just the usual baseline emptiness, but recently, whenever I’m lying in bed listening to music or just doing nothing, I see something shifting in the corner, those same tiny shapes crawling across the walls and ceiling again; I just freeze, thinking not this shit again, and now I catch myself checking the walls every night like some paranoid schizo, still incel, still isolated, and realizing I never really escaped it. I think that it might be time to rope, like, I actually can't do this again. I'm planning on doing nothing about it; I live alone now, and I don't have anyone to check on me. Dad lives hundreds of kilometers away, and Mom does not exist for me. I'm just going to let it go without any meds or anything; hopefully I get a psychotic episode, go full apeshit, kill some foids or do some stupid bullshit, and then rope.

Are there any other mentalcels around here that could share their most fucked up experiences?

I actually thought I had what you have at some point. I lived with bunch of dudes in apartment and suddenly caterpillars started falling from ceiling onto my desk in my room and were on my floor. I thought I had finally gone schizo. They just appeared from nowhere. But as it turned out it was just the fucking ethnic nigga I was living with growing some stupid shit on the floor and in his room in buckets, they probably hatched there, crawled under my door up the ceiling and then fell on me. I cant imagine having actual schizo-disorder, it is one of the most brutal conditions that can affect you mentally.

Now there is some hope, I have heard of people that say schizo disorders are not genetic or incurable, contrary to popular belief. Dieting may also help a lot for some people, cutting out carbs, doing keto or carnivore diet can assist. They used to call schizophrenia bread madness I think.

I will link some interesting videos, idk if this will help you but maybe there is hope:

Spoiler: video links

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPfKc-TknWU


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkxmhIbZ_oM


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyL0jjI93OI


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsoxinC6IHs


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaqRzH-xg3s


search this site for "schizophrenia" related results:

Recent Posts

Alternative perspective on psychiatry’s so-called mental disorders PHILIP HICKEY, PH.D. I am a licensed psychologist, presently retired. I have worked in clinical and managerial positions in the mental health, corrections, and addictions fields in the United States and England. My wife and I...

behaviorismandmentalhealth.com

The Madness Pill: One Doctor’s Quest to Understand Schizophrenia

Sol Snyder burned this medical vision so deeply into our collective consciousness that it’s almost impossible to see outside of it.

www.madinamerica.com

Bread Madness - Schizophrenia or Gluten Sensitivity? - Gluten Free Society

The more we study gluten, the more we learn how antiquated and out dated the current definitions being used to define it are. Less than a year ago, it was

www.glutenfreesociety.org

Basically use all this as starting point to orientate yourself. You have nothing to loose, either you defeat this shit or not. Maybe something will work.

 

[ToBurble&Pine]

Have you become a bug yet?

Do bees count?

 

[Caichan]

dirty nigga

 

[never_began0911]

Hey man, sorry about what you’re going through. You can always DM me and we can talk. I’m curious about something, how do you know when you’re hallucinating? Like how can you differentiate between what’s real vs what’s a hallucination?

Thank you brocel. Answering your question, it’s not always obvious in the moment. When it first started, I didn’t question it at all, it just felt real. Over time, I’ve learned to notice patterns. Hallucinations tend to be repetitive or show up in the same way, like seeing the same kind of movement or shapes in certain places. They also don’t behave like real things, they don’t react normally to light, distance, or focus. Another thing is context. If I’m stressed, tired, adjusting the dose of the meds, or in this case, all of them, I’m more likely to doubt what I’m seeing. Sometimes I’ll test it, like looking away and back or turning on the lights. Even then, it’s not 100 percent clear. Sometimes I only realize it was a hallucination after the fact, not during. So it’s less about instantly knowing and more about learning to question it over time.

 

[poorenglishcel]

Sorry that you have to go through with this mental torture. Seeing what some people go through in life makes me feel thankful for not sharing their fate. Also why do you not want to take meds anymore?

 

[never_began0911]

I'm not schizophrenic, but I can relate to this.

At night before bed, I would occasionally walk out of my room to brush my teeth and I'd see a black object move down the hall. A few times I was so sure it was real I started recording and walked over to the entrance of where I had seen it, but I couldn't find anything.

More recently, I had been seeing something out of my bedroom window. It's only at night, but I'd see something in my peripheral vision, and I would look at it but it would quickly disappear or hide after less than a second. The other night before bed I was browsing .is when I looked up into my mirror and saw the reflection of the window, with the most clear outline of a person. I thought for sure it was real, so I opened my door and peaked out for 15 minutes or so, waiting to see if it would walk around to the back door.

Holy shit bro. Don't you get scared? Whenever I see or hear shit, I get extremely scared, I can't explain it, but it's just a sentiment of extreme dread, like someone is coming to fucking pull my guts out with a knife. Also, it’s not always the bugs, they’re just the most consistent thing. Sometimes it’s other stuff, like I’ll feel someone pulling my hair or brushing against me when I’m alone, or I’ll hear a voice. It’s usually the same one, a woman, and she says some really disturbing shit or tells me to do things. I don’t always listen, but it gets in your head. I also see shadows sometimes, like movement where there shouldn’t be any. One time when I was 18 I saw something peek out from under my bed, like it was watching me, and then it was just gone. The weird part is I’m not constantly like this. I can go weeks feeling normal, thinking clearly, and then out of nowhere I’ll catch something in the corner of my eye or hear something that doesn’t make sense. When I’m depressed it ramps up a lot, like everything gets louder and more frequent, but even when I’m not, it can still get through just enough to mess with me.

 

[never_began0911]

Do bees count?

Yes. Are you a little beefag now?

 

[yeetbender_]

Pestpill is an underratedly brutal aspect of incel life.

 

[never_began0911]

dirty nigga

It gets worse as the symptoms appear. I can go weeks without trimming my nails and days without taking a fucking shower. But who cares? I don't even go out my house dude, it's not like Stacy if going to smell my smegma.

 

[poorenglishcel]

Pestpill is an underratedly brutal aspect of incel life.

Over for readingonlythetitlecels

 

[ToBurble&Pine]

Yes. Are you a little beefag now?

Just bee yourself

 

[never_began0911]

Sorry that you have to go through with this mental torture. Seeing what some people go through in life makes me feel thankful for not sharing their fate. Also why do you not want to take meds anymore?

I get what you mean, it can be a lot sometimes, but it's just what I have to deal with. As for meds, it’s complicated. They help with the hallucinations, but they also come with side effects that make me feel slow, numb, or not like myself. After being stable for a while, it’s easy to think you don’t need them anymore or that you can manage without them. Sometimes that works for a bit, sometimes it doesn’t.

 

[Caichan]

It gets worse as the symptoms appear. I can go weeks without trimming my nails and days without taking a fucking shower. But who cares? I don't even go out my house dude, it's not like Stacy if going to smell my smegma.

Clean up

 

[Sir Silentium]

Holy shit bro. Don't you get scared? Whenever I see or hear shit, I get extremely scared, I can't explain it, but it's just a sentiment of extreme dread, like someone is coming to fucking pull my guts out with a knife. Also, it’s not always the bugs, they’re just the most consistent thing. Sometimes it’s other stuff, like I’ll feel someone pulling my hair or brushing against me when I’m alone, or I’ll hear a voice. It’s usually the same one, a woman, and she says some really disturbing shit or tells me to do things. I don’t always listen, but it gets in your head. I also see shadows sometimes, like movement where there shouldn’t be any. One time when I was 18 I saw something peek out from under my bed, like it was watching me, and then it was just gone. The weird part is I’m not constantly like this. I can go weeks feeling normal, thinking clearly, and then out of nowhere I’ll catch something in the corner of my eye or hear something that doesn’t make sense. When I’m depressed it ramps up a lot, like everything gets louder and more frequent, but even when I’m not, it can still get through just enough to mess with me.

Dude I get petrified! Then when I try and fall asleep I feel a massive urge to open my eyes just to make sure there is nothing behind me, or outside my window.

Also I forget to mention:
In the shower, mainly if it's dark but even in the daytime occasionally, I have to keep my eyes open because I feel like someone is going to kill me. When I force myself to open my eyes in the shower I half expect there to be some psychopath at the door with a knife.

Also I can heavily relate to the shadows, or when I am standing still in the bathroom at night and I see super clear movement. I still don't know if it's real or not.

One time when I was 18 I saw something peek out from under my bed, like it was watching me, and then it was just gone. The weird part is I’m not constantly like this. I can go weeks feeling normal, thinking clearly, and then out of nowhere I’ll catch something in the corner of my eye or hear something that doesn’t make sense.

SAME HERE
Except it was the head of a person pearing in from my top window. I looked at it and I swear he saw me then slowly lowered his head down. I couldn't shut my eyes for more than a few seconds at a time after that happened. I'm loosing sleep because of these things.

 

[yeetbender_]

Over for readingonlythetitlecels

Whoops.

 

[never_began0911]

Clean up

Yes daddy

 

[never_began0911]

Dude I get petrified! Then when I try and fall asleep I feel a massive urge to open my eyes just to make sure there is nothing behind me, or outside my window.

Also I forget to mention:
In the shower, mainly if it's dark but even in the daytime occasionally, I have to keep my eyes open because I feel like someone is going to kill me. When I force myself to open my eyes in the shower I half expect there to be some psychopath at the door with a knife.

Also I can heavily relate to the shadows, or when I am standing still in the bathroom at night and I see super clear movement. I still don't know if it's real or not.


SAME HERE
Except it was the head of a person pearing in from my top window. I looked at it and I swear he saw me then slowly lowered his head down. I couldn't shut my eyes for more than a few seconds at a time after that happened. I'm loosing sleep because of these things.

If it's affecting your quality of life, you should definitely get that shit checked out with a psychiatrist if you don't mind taking meds. Don't take the schizopill.

 

[never_began0911]

Brutal. I thought you were going to talk about literal insects now that summer is approaching

Fortunately, I keep things clean enough that I don’t have any pests, but mosquitoes still show up from time to time.

 

[never_began0911]

Just bee yourself

 

[Sir Silentium]

If it's affecting your quality of life, you should definitely get that shit checked out with a psychiatrist if you don't mind taking meds. Don't take the schizopill.

I wouldn't call it schizophrenia. And it's not often, just sometimes yk. I can live with it without meds messing me up

 

[never_began0911]

I wouldn't call it schizophrenia. And it's not often, just sometimes yk. I can live with it without meds messing me up

That's right. Stress, isolation or just your mind playing fucking games can also cause that.

 

[slairisk]

Thankfully I never had any hallucination. I hope you get better soon, OP.

 

[Sir Silentium]

That's right. Stress, isolation or just your mind playing fucking games can also cause that.

Exactly, just the brain playing games with the light.

 

[never_began0911]

Thankfully I never had any hallucination. I hope you get better soon, OP.

Thanks, brocel. I’d give anything for a cure, but as it stands, it’s something you manage more than eliminate. I’m hoping things improve, but it’s hard to feel optimistic about where it all leads.

 

[thejbird]

Dude, all the time I feel like I’m gonna die in a mass shooting, i’m gonna be going to Austin Texas to see some family and quite a few shootings have happened recently there like I’m scared out of my goddamn mind man every time I go to a restaurant or a store I’m going to be near the back looking for an exit like dude it’s mental.

 

[thejbird]

Also, I always have these extremely lucid dreams that always result in me having a wetdream and that shit has literally caused me to start drinking every time I wake up because I don’t want it to end man. . .

 

[never_began0911]

But as it turned out it was just the fucking ethnic nigga

Disgusting ethnic motherfucker. Thanks for the videos though, somebody else already mentioned doing keto or carnivore diet. That might be my only hope for now. I’ll watch the videos you added. Thanks a lot again.

 

[never_began0911]

Dude, all the time I feel like I’m gonna die in a mass shooting, i’m gonna be going to Austin Texas to see some family and quite a few shootings have happened recently there like I’m scared out of my goddamn mind man every time I go to a restaurant or a store I’m going to be near the back looking for an exit like dude it’s mental.

It’s an omen. Become the mass shooter, brocel.

Bullshit aside, I get what you’re saying, living in a constant state of paranoia for weeks is absolute torture. Have you slept with a knife under your pillow because you felt like your neighbor who’s having a really loud party is actually gathering people to go and kill you in your sleep? I hope you don’t have to, ever.

 

[never_began0911]

Also, I always have these extremely lucid dreams that always result in me having a wetdream and that shit has literally caused me to start drinking every time I wake up because I don’t want it to end man. . .

If the hallucinations were pleasant I would even mind, I’d get to escape my boring life, but no, because of some mix of biological factors and environmental triggers I now have to live a doomed life in which I’ll never get to experience normality.

 

[thejbird]

It’s an omen. Become the mass shooter, brocel.

Bullshit aside, I get what you’re saying, living in a constant state of paranoia for weeks is absolute torture. Have you slept with a knife under your pillow because you felt like your neighbor who’s having a really loud party is actually gathering people to go and kill you in your sleep? I hope you don’t have to, ever.

When it comes to the first point I can’t say much, but I don’t want to go to prison I am not a Fed hell nah.

And no I never slow of a knife under my pillow, but I have slept with a gun under my pillow (Beretta 9 mm) not for self-defence purposes however, but just in case if I feel like it, unfortunately that’s permanent, I mean, I would take a few with me, but fuck man it’s way too niggerish for me to do that.

 

[thejbird]

If the hallucinations were pleasant I would even mind, I’d get to escape my boring life, but no, because of some mix of biological factors and environmental triggers I now have to live a doomed life in which I’ll never get to experience normality.

Dude you should take DMT or LSD, put some of that in your system and become one with nature yk.

I have multiple ways of coping depending on the scenario or situation I’m in:

psychedelics for when I wanna fantasize about something or calm myself.

alcohol when I watch too many BP/depression videos on TikTok or when I get rejected again or I’m not direct enough with a girl or when something just bad happens in my life.

cigarettes when i’m having an anxiety attack or when I am in a fist of rage.

The blade when shit gets really fucking bad.

usually a combination of alcohol and smoking and driving in the middle of nowhere in my truck seems to have the best effect.

 

[Tetsuya]

Someone mentioned bread madness. It might also be high blood sugar and prediabetes, those can cause schizo issues too.