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im so fucking schizo

Despicablecel

Despicablecel

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Sep 12, 2022
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So when i was 12 i participated in a spelling bee. i got to like round 8 or some shit and i was in the top 5. I genuinely thought that if i won id get booed so i misspelled the next word really badly. After i did it, the teachers and the person adjudicating the contest just looked perplexed because it was so random for someone who got that far. Then when i went to my seat it turns out some ppl were going for me. My thought patterns are just so negative. There are people below me in certain non looks areas who feel 100 times better than me in confidence. I think i blame my parents tbh.
 
i dont know if i would've won but i think i could've made top 3 at least. For sure the winner was a fucking nerd.
 
So when i was 12 i participated in a spelling bee. i got to like round 8 or some shit and i was in the top 5. I genuinely thought that if i won id get booed so i misspelled the next word really badly. After i did it, the teachers and the person adjudicating the contest just looked perplexed because it was so random for someone who got that far. Then when i went to my seat it turns out some ppl were going for me. My thought patterns are just so negative. There are people below me in certain non looks areas who feel 100 times better than me in confidence. I think i blame my parents tbh.
MEDS SCHIZO RN
Mental Health GIF by By Sauts // Alex Sautter
(IN VIDEO GAME)
 
Abused dog syndrome
 
Abused dog syndrome
to think if i won i couldve revisited that memory till the grave. The winner was some nerd who was like 99th percentile in literature or some shit. Once the really obscure words came i would've had no chance. Maybe I could've like used spelling skills like turning sounds into letters but i still think he would've won. i could've made top 3 or top 4. I ruined my reputation too by misspelling so hard.
 

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