N
Native
Recruit
★★★
- Joined
- May 30, 2020
- Posts
- 245
Hey guys. I don’t post much but I’m literally typing this with tears in my eyes. I haven’t a single fucking friend in the world and still a fucking virgin at almost age 21. I had a friend group and all of them betrayed me for a fucking woman man. It’s way too much to explain but I had a man I thought was a brother to me simply stop talking to me overnight because of a girl who wouldn’t lift a finger for him. I still think about him almost every day, I would have died for him, so it really really hurts to sit alone remembering I had one true friend in my entire life and he left me in the dust.
I hit the gym maybe 2-3 times a day. I made a Reddit post yesterday saying I had two “friends” I’ve talked to online for about 4-5 years, but I don’t like talking to them because both of them have become obese in the time I’ve known them, not bettered themselves at all, and just live in their parents houses not getting a job. I joined the military because my parents kicked me out shortly after I turned 18 and so I have no family connections at all, no family, only a few people I keep in contact with on discord (if they ever answer me, it seems like I care about others attention more than they value mine).
Not much hope for me I don’t think. I had really bad acne so I took accutane, but the accutane didn’t fully stop my acne before it gave me telogen effluvium hairloss that I think may have slightly turned into my genetic MPB from my dad so I started finasteride. I have no side effects. Just very depressed but I’ve had this for years before the finasteride so I’m not worried about that.
It’s really hard for me to even live. I don’t see a future for myself, I find it hard just to live day by day since each day is just so fucking painful. My job isn’t even hard but I just feel like shooting myself in the fucking brain because I have not a single fucking person in the world to talk to. I get off work and sit in my room by myself. I had a brutal childhood with acne, gyno, and now hairloss from trying to treat the acne. I’m probably a normie in looks just some those failos I mentioned and I’m really mentally fucking done for since all this shit has left me broken.
I cannot explain the feeling inside of me of having no mother to talk to, no father who cares, no God to cry out to, no brother or sister, never had a girlfriend, and every friend I’ve ever trusted has left me behind. I just have tears and tears. I workout usually at the gym at least 2 times a day then do my 30 min to an hour of cardio on the track just to waste as much time of the day as possible. I eat tons of chicken and rice and just focus on building a better body because it’s all I have. I am so miserable and I don’t wish this feeling on any of the people that treated me horrible, I just want it to end.
I hit the gym maybe 2-3 times a day. I made a Reddit post yesterday saying I had two “friends” I’ve talked to online for about 4-5 years, but I don’t like talking to them because both of them have become obese in the time I’ve known them, not bettered themselves at all, and just live in their parents houses not getting a job. I joined the military because my parents kicked me out shortly after I turned 18 and so I have no family connections at all, no family, only a few people I keep in contact with on discord (if they ever answer me, it seems like I care about others attention more than they value mine).
Not much hope for me I don’t think. I had really bad acne so I took accutane, but the accutane didn’t fully stop my acne before it gave me telogen effluvium hairloss that I think may have slightly turned into my genetic MPB from my dad so I started finasteride. I have no side effects. Just very depressed but I’ve had this for years before the finasteride so I’m not worried about that.
It’s really hard for me to even live. I don’t see a future for myself, I find it hard just to live day by day since each day is just so fucking painful. My job isn’t even hard but I just feel like shooting myself in the fucking brain because I have not a single fucking person in the world to talk to. I get off work and sit in my room by myself. I had a brutal childhood with acne, gyno, and now hairloss from trying to treat the acne. I’m probably a normie in looks just some those failos I mentioned and I’m really mentally fucking done for since all this shit has left me broken.
I cannot explain the feeling inside of me of having no mother to talk to, no father who cares, no God to cry out to, no brother or sister, never had a girlfriend, and every friend I’ve ever trusted has left me behind. I just have tears and tears. I workout usually at the gym at least 2 times a day then do my 30 min to an hour of cardio on the track just to waste as much time of the day as possible. I eat tons of chicken and rice and just focus on building a better body because it’s all I have. I am so miserable and I don’t wish this feeling on any of the people that treated me horrible, I just want it to end.