I have been in a state of continual stress for a year but I think it's peaked the past month. Living in a europoor shithole with dogshit heating I'm basically cold all the time + the fatigue of gymcelling and slaving at work I seriously haven't had a single moment of peace. I stay up late because I don't want to speed up having to wageslave and when I do fall asleep for 2 hours most of the times I get nightmares or just don't dream at all. Then the exact same day repeats and I do it all over. When I go outside I see all the piles of garbage, the gray jungle of apartement complexes that surrounds me and the subhuman wiggers, shitskins and whores that walk amongt it. The weird thing is that the stress has been getting addicting and I feel better when it's something extremly infiruaiting rather than some mild annoyance. I think it's because when the more you're angry the less you care about shit while with the small amounts you feel like a bitch just gulping it up and countiniuing with your day. Inner peace seems impossible to achieve at this point.
