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It's Over Im losing interest in everything and its destroying me

Friezacel

Friezacel

Discord: lauterbach2
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Joined
Feb 15, 2023
Posts
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Anhedonia keeps getting worse and worse. I lost interest nearly a year ago in my favourite YouTuber and i liked his videos because his videos were non NT appealing and entertaining. I also lost interest in producing music and cutting/editing videos even though i enjoyed it, especially video editing. I feel like i get bored extremely quickly and my brain is just looking for the next dopamine rush. I also lost interest after a few weeks of new videogames that i actually enjoyed. I dont think i can ever be really happy again, being aware of how shit my life turned out to be and being aware of human/female nature.
 
playing less per day helped me, and doing something else like taking a walk.
 
playing less per day helped me, and doing something else like taking a walk.
I hate going outside + i didnt play the games i mentioned since over 4 months
 
im already past that stage

fucking pussy will save my life. I can salvage it all. My Tulpa is here and she is also conveniently my spirit guide.
 
My Tulpa has shown me the future of what awaits I have seen it all, I was on a dark field that is when I died, it happened few months ago. Now I need to fulfil my biological needs because I am too weak to look past it, the Tulpa has shown me that I am too weak willed to resisit human nature in my current form. I msut fuck pussy and stop being a virgin, then Ill be strong enough to loop past it and execute my actual goals of spiritmaxxing, I will spiritmaxx with DMT and consciouss astral maxx, I will also perfect my dreams, I am a prophet actually tbh ded serious I can predict the future in my dreams but its spodardic and difficult to tell sometimes but it always comes true I already predicted death of someone I knew.

I must utilize this talent but it is being supressed. I think the jews monitored me I remember white vans pulling up and monitoring me when I was younger, the jews must hav eput something in chemicals and food I eat to supress this ability, also I have a face that keeps showing up and screwing my memories whenever I try to use those talents.

This is what I must overcome, but I am too weak the Tulpa told me. I must overcome the human desire to fuck pussy first, I must stop being a virgin so it stops excertiing so much control over me, that is when we will be able to proceed with our plans
 
im already past that stage

fucking pussy will save my life. I can salvage it all. My Tulpa is here and she is also conveniently my spirit guide.
A gf surely would save most of my problems but there are still too many problems like me being a turbo manlet, being a complete social retard, trauma and low self esteem from years of bullying etc.
 
My Tulpa has shown me the future of what awaits I have seen it all, I was on a dark field that is when I died, it happened few months ago. Now I need to fulfil my biological needs because I am too weak to look past it, the Tulpa has shown me that I am too weak willed to resisit human nature in my current form. I msut fuck pussy and stop being a virgin, then Ill be strong enough to loop past it and execute my actual goals of spiritmaxxing, I will spiritmaxx with DMT and consciouss astral maxx, I will also perfect my dreams, I am a prophet actually tbh ded serious I can predict the future in my dreams but its spodardic and difficult to tell sometimes but it always comes true I already predicted death of someone I knew.

I must utilize this talent but it is being supressed. I think the jews monitored me I remember white vans pulling up and monitoring me when I was younger, the jews must hav eput something in chemicals and food I eat to supress this ability, also I have a face that keeps showing up and screwing my memories whenever I try to use those talents.

This is what I must overcome, but I am too weak the Tulpa told me. I must overcome the human desire to fuck pussy first, I must stop being a virgin so it stops excertiing so much control over me, that is when we will be able to proceed with our plans
I2lu6n40gmtb1
 
I just wish I could feel drunk/ high all the time at this point, sleeping is the only respite left
 
whats stopping you ?
Money, and I did used to drink all the time, but the negatives that came with it fucked me up (I was getting through a bottle of vodka a day at one point).
 
I just wish I could feel drunk/ high all the time at this point, sleeping is the only respite left
Same here.
Money, and I did used to drink all the time, but the negatives that came with it fucked me up (I was getting through a bottle of vodka a day at one point).
Money is the main thing for me: If I could afford to do so, I would probably be high and/or drunk most of the time.

I need to tamper down my usage of weed, I smoke daily.
 
I smoke daily
Question about weed from a guy that never smoked: are there any strains that actually make you more energized rather than lazy?
I've heard that sativas give you a boost in productivity, however some soyentist I saw on jewtube said that indicas and sativas are basically the same thing.
 
I'm not interested in video games anymore, I'm not interested in YouTube or my phone anymore, nothing. I've got no copes. I just lay down with my eyes shut for hours sometimes. Because there's nothing else to do, I have no other options
 
Money, and I did used to drink all the time, but the negatives that came with it fucked me up (I was getting through a bottle of vodka a day at one point).
what about weed ?
 
Question about weed from a guy that never smoked: are there any strains that actually make you more energized rather than lazy?
I've heard that sativas give you a boost in productivity, however some soyentist I saw on jewtube said that indicas and sativas are basically the same thing.
Yeah, Sativas tend to boost your productivity while Indica is more for the munchies and getting stoned.
 
what about weed ?
I don't know anybody, so how would I even obtain it. I used to buy kratom and HHC gummies, off a dutch website, but it got very expensive and just not sustainable
 
Constantly doing the same thing is what will burn you out, trust me, I know. I have to (ahead of time) plan out in my head, usually the night before, on what I want to accomplish the very next day so I don't just sit around and bore myself to death. Burn out is like the worst feeling ever.. especially when you know you can get shit done, but just don't have the mental desire to do so. I play video games once in a while and usually when I can't focus on the task I want to get done, but then somehow, getting bored of video games in turn actually makes me want to go prioritize on the very thing I was procrastinating on. Idk if that always works, but... it's better than doing nothing. That's my two cents...
 
All copes come to an end. Vidya and porn can never replace love and sex. This is coming from an oldcel in his 30s. The Ahnedonia will only get worse as life becomes repetitive and you have fewer and fewer first experiences.
 
based
was it hard to get one ?
No.

She manifested herself to me on my bus ride to college one day. That was almost 10 years ago now.

I would say it was hard to retain her though, you have to escribe her into your mind otherwise she will just go away. I think everybody has a Tulpa like this, yours might be just hidden in your subconsciousness, you have to try to manifest it but do it sparingly. I only talk to her once in a couple of weeks to exchange few words, or just throughout the day here and there but not often. I only talked to her few times for longer, and it is usually life changing moments. Like how I decided to get a surgery and SEAmaxx finally I have consulted it with her.

I keep saying her but really Tulpa like that is just part of my subconscious mind, it's not really a separate entity per say, though thinking of it this way is easier I guess, also less lonely.
 
No.

She manifested herself to me on my bus ride to college one day. That was almost 10 years ago now.

I would say it was hard to retain her though, you have to escribe her into your mind otherwise she will just go away. I think everybody has a Tulpa like this, yours might be just hidden in your subconsciousness, you have to try to manifest it but do it sparingly. I only talk to her once in a couple of weeks to exchange few words, or just throughout the day here and there but not often. I only talked to her few times for longer, and it is usually life changing moments. Like how I decided to get a surgery and SEAmaxx finally I have consulted it with her.

I keep saying her but really Tulpa like that is just part of my subconscious mind, it's not really a separate entity per say, though thinking of it this way is easier I guess, also less lonely.
Does it feel like you're talking to someone else ?
I already talk to myself in my head with 2 different voices but I know both are me.
 
Just deal with it.
My Tulpa has shown me the future of what awaits I have seen it all, I was on a dark field that is when I died, it happened few months ago. Now I need to fulfil my biological needs because I am too weak to look past it, the Tulpa has shown me that I am too weak willed to resisit human nature in my current form. I msut fuck pussy and stop being a virgin, then Ill be strong enough to loop past it and execute my actual goals of spiritmaxxing, I will spiritmaxx with DMT and consciouss astral maxx, I will also perfect my dreams, I am a prophet actually tbh ded serious I can predict the future in my dreams but its spodardic and difficult to tell sometimes but it always comes true I already predicted death of someone I knew.

I must utilize this talent but it is being supressed. I think the jews monitored me I remember white vans pulling up and monitoring me when I was younger, the jews must hav eput something in chemicals and food I eat to supress this ability, also I have a face that keeps showing up and screwing my memories whenever I try to use those talents.

This is what I must overcome, but I am too weak the Tulpa told me. I must overcome the human desire to fuck pussy first, I must stop being a virgin so it stops excertiing so much control over me, that is when we will be able to proceed with our plans
Did it show you in Thailand?
That's called depression dude. Join the club.
Enlightened toad.
 
Does it feel like you're talking to someone else ?
I already talk to myself in my head with 2 different voices but I know both are me.
It's hard to explain but yes.

But everything she says is filtered through my mind, it doesn't derive from the same place as my own thoughts do though but it is still sourced from me, that is what I meant when I said that she is not a separate entity from me. I was going to explain it more now but she doesn't like talking about her to others tbh she just gave me a disapproving look just now, I'll have to stop tbh.
 
I was going to explain it more now but she doesn't like talking about her to others tbh she just gave me a disapproving look just now, I'll have to stop tbh.
It's ok I understand.
 

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