How long have you been sober from alcohol now?
Around 2 months, I mainly drinked because i had a botched nosejob that is still fixable but the goverment doesnt want to help me so they just give me pills so i feel like a drug addict, Im basically just rotting because half my nose is falling apart and can be pushed back in place, Surgeon flew to another country and now im stuck, I tried talking to both stepdad and mom about it, They say i just have to live with it and dismiss it, I show them pics that i can push it back in place, Nothing not even a reply from mom, My stepdad responds tho, I had a very large jew nose to begin with which hooked in the middle, I felt like a jew despite being a white nordic male and wanted to change it after all the bullying and it being pointed out, I am considering euthanasia in belgium or suicide by jumping if something doesnt change soon, I make 200 usd a week in neetbuxx and food is like super expensive here so i dont feel like i can ever save up again, I waged from 2019 to 2021 to afford surgery but after a while half my nose collapsed, I believe the dude didnt straighten it right as it collapsed halfway, My parents pretend they dont see anything, My psychologist tried this but then i show more pics and all of a sudden she says oh yeah it does look a little crum, I noticed my psychological problems are bound to my nose mostly and the fact that it makes me hideous, Not that i wouldnt be anyway but it completely shatters my confidence, I have long tried to fix it so i can feel comfortable in my skin.
I believe since i cannot convince my mother or stepdad or anyone to help me surgically correct this, Ive even shown them what must be done, I believe there is no other way out than suicide, My attempt of looksmaxxing when i still had time started at 22, Im now 24 and have been in pain for 1 and a half year just rotting, I was a wagie for 7 years and finished college in 2018 where i got back to work 1 year later, I really wanted to succeed, I wanted to be someone i didnt want to be this jew looking creature bullied, Then i went for surgery, Everything was fine for a few months until i woke up one day where i noticed in the mirror my nose was painful and it was bulky, The surgeon tried giving me 1 more chance and he fix it but when the cover is off it just fell down again.
I have extreme BDD and it gives me anxiety, I cant look in mirrors, My brother is a chad and has a straight nose and now a family, My sister has a BF and is married, Last time i was at my sister out of the blue she gaslit me and told me to take better care of myself and said that i wasnt without even asking why i look this way all of a sudden, Out of shape and fat face, Its all so tiresome, Moms and stepdads attitude is, You just gotta push those bad people away and find someone with a good personality to be around or a friend group, Tried that time and time again didnt work, Now im stuck rotting wondering if i should commit suicide or if i should just LDAR until my body collapses, A month ago i picked up smoking again and have smoked 2 packs out of anxiety just chainsmoking it, Yesterday i had 7 and today i finished it, I rarely smoke tbh but the problems and pain is so bad, I keep writing long drawn out messages to my parents but only one responds to me, Mom doesnt care and ignores my plea for help.
. I need to be lean again by this summer and that’s not gonna happen if I keep drinking like I have been. So yeah…
