As im writing this post, it is currently 6:49 AM where i live, and i just felt like getting this shit out of my chest.
I’ve had enough of all of this, my life HAD to suck ass, perhaps if my life was great i would’ve believed in god while turning a blind eye for the people who are suffering every single day, but no god would want people to suffer, from a disease, from a war, from a disability, from shitty parents and simply a bad starting point.
Im a mixed individual with autism and dyspraxia (could have more, thats what i’ve got diagnosed so far) if it was only that, but i look like shit, if god existed, he probably smeared his shit all over my face and body and called it a day. I was mocked and bullied my childhood for being bizarre, weird, fat and ugly. I barely had any friends back then. Kids do tell the truth whereas teenagers hide it.
In middle school i only had a few "friends" i still hang out with sometimes when im having enough of rotting in my room all day. They’re nothing like me and have very good and healthy relationships with other people and i dont know how they do it, im extremely jealous but i also want to feel happy for them.
So yeah during middle school i was completely ignored altough i would still get mocked by simps and some retarded foids.
Online, i had made it into a pretty large "friend" group. It was even worse than irl, i was the butt of every single joke, they excluded me from activities or things such as gaming sessions, they would make edits on me just to make me react to it. Some "com boy" in that friend group who’s a total faggot and a total simp even doxxed me and made fun of pictures of my parents and even threatened to say atrocious stuff to a girl i had a crush on in middle school, to ruin my life irl. But hey thats just ragebait and jokes, right ?
This foid in middle school also harshly rejected me and was eventually cheated on by her bf that was much older than her, even tho she was nearly my looksmatch (cheh)
In highschool i tried to get over my autism which had made my social life almost inexistant or at the least very unpleasant to me
During my first year of highscool i had seen this foid in the halls, she was mixed just like me, wore the same clothes a i did (which is and was very rare in my city) and was genuinely "kind".
I later found out she had interests similar to mine, i’d say 40% similar which was unexpected for an irl foid. I approached her via a guy in my class who knew her, who had some pity for me idk.
It took me nearly a day to find the correct message in which i simply complimented the way she dressed. She answered kindly and we started talking to the point i started up opening on some things im currently talking about in this post.
We started talking about music and i made her listen to the music i made on my fl studio 20 crack which was three shitty lolicore songs i had made.
This went on for some time and i genuinely thought this would end well.
I thought i had a chance, i was her type, a man of north african descent with very long hair. (Even tho im still very ugly) but obviously she fell for a guy like that who wasnt even talking to her, he was too good looking compared to me, he was actually extremely good looking, even tho they had nothing in common.
Then i added her everywhere i could just to "stalk" her, thats when i found out she was just a foid and a normie. She was into all that gay yaoi bullshit, she was drooling over thirst traps of chads and literal adult males whereas i looked like an ugly baby when i was 16 and still do at 18.
She wouldn’t even talk to me, i was the one who kept sending messages, even tho i was horrible at it and was obviously extremely awkward because of how much i struggle socially.
A year later i started to go to the gym did skincare and an unbelievable amount of copes just to look better to have her, i fixed my entire diet, my terrible sleeping schedule, everything. But nothing worked for me, nothing.
Another year later i, tried e-foids (actual succubuses) got rejected as soon as i showed my face (how predictable)
I still look at her posts and reposts of her drooling over chads, larping shit online etc.
It is now 7:31 AM as im writing those words, i’ve been rotting in my room on and off the exam days, highschool is ending soon and i already made the decision to take a year off before going into college. Im feeling so miserable and im scared that it’ll never end.
I obviously didnt go into too much details and skipped some details, didnt want to make this vent that absolutely NOBODY !!!! will ever read completely too long and also because i want to sleep a bit.
Also yeah i guess some people will say that im a fakecel and i really wish that thats actually the case and that i’ll eventually stop being an incel anyway goodnight/day to whatever kind incel soul reads this.
(Also, i turned 18 a few weeks before i had made my account, just to make it clear)
I’ve had enough of all of this, my life HAD to suck ass, perhaps if my life was great i would’ve believed in god while turning a blind eye for the people who are suffering every single day, but no god would want people to suffer, from a disease, from a war, from a disability, from shitty parents and simply a bad starting point.
Im a mixed individual with autism and dyspraxia (could have more, thats what i’ve got diagnosed so far) if it was only that, but i look like shit, if god existed, he probably smeared his shit all over my face and body and called it a day. I was mocked and bullied my childhood for being bizarre, weird, fat and ugly. I barely had any friends back then. Kids do tell the truth whereas teenagers hide it.
In middle school i only had a few "friends" i still hang out with sometimes when im having enough of rotting in my room all day. They’re nothing like me and have very good and healthy relationships with other people and i dont know how they do it, im extremely jealous but i also want to feel happy for them.
So yeah during middle school i was completely ignored altough i would still get mocked by simps and some retarded foids.
Online, i had made it into a pretty large "friend" group. It was even worse than irl, i was the butt of every single joke, they excluded me from activities or things such as gaming sessions, they would make edits on me just to make me react to it. Some "com boy" in that friend group who’s a total faggot and a total simp even doxxed me and made fun of pictures of my parents and even threatened to say atrocious stuff to a girl i had a crush on in middle school, to ruin my life irl. But hey thats just ragebait and jokes, right ?
This foid in middle school also harshly rejected me and was eventually cheated on by her bf that was much older than her, even tho she was nearly my looksmatch (cheh)
In highschool i tried to get over my autism which had made my social life almost inexistant or at the least very unpleasant to me
During my first year of highscool i had seen this foid in the halls, she was mixed just like me, wore the same clothes a i did (which is and was very rare in my city) and was genuinely "kind".
I later found out she had interests similar to mine, i’d say 40% similar which was unexpected for an irl foid. I approached her via a guy in my class who knew her, who had some pity for me idk.
It took me nearly a day to find the correct message in which i simply complimented the way she dressed. She answered kindly and we started talking to the point i started up opening on some things im currently talking about in this post.
We started talking about music and i made her listen to the music i made on my fl studio 20 crack which was three shitty lolicore songs i had made.
This went on for some time and i genuinely thought this would end well.
I thought i had a chance, i was her type, a man of north african descent with very long hair. (Even tho im still very ugly) but obviously she fell for a guy like that who wasnt even talking to her, he was too good looking compared to me, he was actually extremely good looking, even tho they had nothing in common.
Then i added her everywhere i could just to "stalk" her, thats when i found out she was just a foid and a normie. She was into all that gay yaoi bullshit, she was drooling over thirst traps of chads and literal adult males whereas i looked like an ugly baby when i was 16 and still do at 18.
She wouldn’t even talk to me, i was the one who kept sending messages, even tho i was horrible at it and was obviously extremely awkward because of how much i struggle socially.
A year later i started to go to the gym did skincare and an unbelievable amount of copes just to look better to have her, i fixed my entire diet, my terrible sleeping schedule, everything. But nothing worked for me, nothing.
Another year later i, tried e-foids (actual succubuses) got rejected as soon as i showed my face (how predictable)
I still look at her posts and reposts of her drooling over chads, larping shit online etc.
It is now 7:31 AM as im writing those words, i’ve been rotting in my room on and off the exam days, highschool is ending soon and i already made the decision to take a year off before going into college. Im feeling so miserable and im scared that it’ll never end.
I obviously didnt go into too much details and skipped some details, didnt want to make this vent that absolutely NOBODY !!!! will ever read completely too long and also because i want to sleep a bit.
Also yeah i guess some people will say that im a fakecel and i really wish that thats actually the case and that i’ll eventually stop being an incel anyway goodnight/day to whatever kind incel soul reads this.
(Also, i turned 18 a few weeks before i had made my account, just to make it clear)
