It has been a few months before I disabled my account here (basically getting paranoid after some IT witch hunt). But I realized I have no friends so now I'm back. I hope some of you remember me.
In the meantime I had been admitted into a psychiatric hopsital (for the 4th time in my life) for about a month. I was afraid they were going to give me electroshocks again but luckly they only gavev me medication. I also met two women there. One was 40 so not really a romantic interest but she was also psychotic and we hung out together at the psych ward. When we were released we hung out in my home city and we even smoked some weed together (finally giving me a little bit of a sense of the student life that I never had). She lives very far away so it's not like I can hang out with her regularly, but it's better than complete isolation I guess. I also met another girl who is around my age and we had a little bit of contact on facebook for 2 weeks (and even called on the phone for 30 min.), before she unfriended me and since then she hasn't responded.
Now I am enjoying my complete friendlessness again and thought I might as well jump back into the abbyss that is incels.is. While I was psychotic, a voice in my head actually called me "calimero" a lot (which was an insult my brother came up with). At one time I tried recalling as many usernames of users that I remember from this place. I heard many voices during that time, all of which I associated with female classmates (who I call my friends). I actually send a whatsapp message to 4 of time, all along the lines "hey, how are you doing?" and didn't get a single response.
I realize because of my sensitivity my life will probably be a series of alternations of studying/wageslaving and being admitted in the mental hospital for psychosis/burn out. Unless I get a girlfriend that is kind to me.
In about one month I will have my second birthday on this forum. If I don't ascend within one month I will celebrate it on this forum.
I hope you are glad to have me back, but if you don't care you can just say so. I can't sink any lower anyway. Atleast I finished one degree and busy finishing a second one so academically I'm doing pretty well. Although I'm way too old.
In the meantime I had been admitted into a psychiatric hopsital (for the 4th time in my life) for about a month. I was afraid they were going to give me electroshocks again but luckly they only gavev me medication. I also met two women there. One was 40 so not really a romantic interest but she was also psychotic and we hung out together at the psych ward. When we were released we hung out in my home city and we even smoked some weed together (finally giving me a little bit of a sense of the student life that I never had). She lives very far away so it's not like I can hang out with her regularly, but it's better than complete isolation I guess. I also met another girl who is around my age and we had a little bit of contact on facebook for 2 weeks (and even called on the phone for 30 min.), before she unfriended me and since then she hasn't responded.
Now I am enjoying my complete friendlessness again and thought I might as well jump back into the abbyss that is incels.is. While I was psychotic, a voice in my head actually called me "calimero" a lot (which was an insult my brother came up with). At one time I tried recalling as many usernames of users that I remember from this place. I heard many voices during that time, all of which I associated with female classmates (who I call my friends). I actually send a whatsapp message to 4 of time, all along the lines "hey, how are you doing?" and didn't get a single response.
I realize because of my sensitivity my life will probably be a series of alternations of studying/wageslaving and being admitted in the mental hospital for psychosis/burn out. Unless I get a girlfriend that is kind to me.
In about one month I will have my second birthday on this forum. If I don't ascend within one month I will celebrate it on this forum.
I hope you are glad to have me back, but if you don't care you can just say so. I can't sink any lower anyway. Atleast I finished one degree and busy finishing a second one so academically I'm doing pretty well. Although I'm way too old.
