There's a lot of thoughts and ideas currently racing through my mind.
I feel a lot of hate. It's very likely that my Mom doesn't give a shit about me and she's playing a persona. I'm being finessed by my fucking Mom. Because on some days, she'll say give me a hug and show me some grade I got in grade 3 or try to give me an inspirational message, but my Dad did the same thing to my sister before he said he never wanted to see her again, and threatened her physically.
My Mom doesn't give a flipping fuck about me. I hate the fucking sheboon language she speaks in. She's mocking me. When I set an alarm to wake up at 4 am, she says "tsk." When I was fully redpilled a year ago and on the self improvement train, she didn't support me. When I was getting good grades, she said I was "selfish" for "studying too much." Bunch of bullshit. I realize now, both my parents don't give a fuck about me. Neither my Dad who I can't legally see, or my Mom who pretends to care about me.
The FitxFearless video. You're probably annoyed because I've talked about it a thousand times, but if you really analyse it, the video was funny, but the situation isn't. Before I was blackpilled, I was fully redpilled. I studied until 2 am some nights because I wanted to maintain good grades in hard classes. I followed Hamza, Andrew Tate, before I reset my channel, I would record shitty videos after doing 100 push ups. I did all of that fucking work, but because I'm ugly, it meant fucking jackshit. My brother fucking plays video games all day, fucking Roblox, Snapchat, whilst I used to be hyper-obsessed over self improvement and would do extreme things like "quit music" and take cold showers at 5 am because I was a dumbass. I had genuine body dsmorphia. I was on the fucking suicide hotline, texting it multiple times a day. I couldn't look myself in the Mirror. I would pull my ears back, put my 2 fingers over my nose, imagining how much better I would look after plastic surgery. I listened to some dickheads in the Fitxfearless discord server to go on call, told a fake story, I was fucking 17 when the call happened, and I was raised a Muslim. If I was raised a fucking Muslim and I just graduated High School, and my overbearing sheboon Mom is controlling as fuck, obviously I would never approach a woman with that context. Because my whole life, my Mom and Islam told me to not talk to girls, I was bullied in middle school, and I was isolated in High School, only focusing on grades.
I did self improvement, it meant fucking jackshit, because I was publicly humiliated for the entire fucking world to see, based on context that made me look worse. My brother is fucking lazy as shit, my Mother is fucking controlling and sheboon, my Father is fucking non-existent.
The video with the cuts and everything is edited for humour. But the actual uncut livestream is brutal. It only amplifies the things I did being for nothing
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HF2ufiTBjM0
Timestamp 39:11 (go to 45:25)
"Have a good day man. Have a good day. This shit is fucking pathetic. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Unbelievable."
The situation isn't funny at all. The cut up and edited video is funny objectively, but the actual situation I'm in. Everyone in my fucking University, all of my old classmates mocking me, the work I put in being for nothing. And if you don't believe me, which proves my point, then go look at my Instagram and see the physique pictures with no gym equipment, just bodyweight. Go look up my old threads in r/disciplined. I used to be active in Hamza's Skool community Adonis Gang. It all meant fucking nothing. I tried improving my social skills, I tried talking to people, I consumed Andrew Tate and Tristan Tate's guides on Social Skills, I used to watch fucking Hamza guides, it meant fucking nothing.
My life was a fucking joke since I was a child. I've gotten mockery on youtube comments, discord comments, reddit, in real life. People calling me a pussy in my own server, and since I'm so used to it, I don't even get mad at the fact someone casually calls me a pussy. "You're not welcome here." "Get the fuck out of here." "cringe" "Autism" "Loser" Snickers, laughter. Over and fucking over. The 32 year old discord mod in the Fitx server who told me to get the fuck out of the server, around a couple weeks later, in late August when the video was still booming and I was getting mockery and hate comments everyday, I said in my server, I'm suicidal, I feel urges, then I rejoin the FitxFearless discord on an alt in early september because I was curious if they were talking about me, and someone I was friended with said in the Fitx server "Cheese said he's going to kill himself (my old discord name and name even here was MHCheese454 so people called me Cheese) the mod was saying "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I don't feel bad for him.", maybe I'm a faggot for this, but I basically ran out of the lecture hall I was in on the verge of tears and hyperventilating, and ran to another building, calmed down, then went back into the lecture hall. That was a month ago, it doesn't matter now, it's just some stupid discord message but it just reinforced the belief in my head that people would probably be happier if I wasn't here.
What's the point of this vent? The work I did was for nothing. I probably full on hate my family. I've been considered a joke for my entire life. The fitxfearless clips are going more viral. People are making reaction videos.
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNIU0wcsI6M
The point of this vent is the title. I don't want to hide anymore. I mean that in a literal sense.
People here said it was cringe when I went on "melodramatic monologues" on how I don't care about dying, acting like an anime character. The reason I talk about death is because I believe it will be worth it to die for something like this.
That "something like this" refers to not hiding, the ability to speak my mind and be a "truth teller." It's not an unrealistic scenario. There has been cases of people jumped, killed, thrown in jail, assaulted, for expressing their opinion. I'm an ugly male. People despise ugly men. If I as an ugly male, speak an uncontroversial opinion that people don't like, and someone jumps me, then things like death and violence are possible realities.
The last straw was reputation. I've been a fucking good boy for my whole life, I stayed in School, studied for my classes, didn't do drugs, didn't smoke, didn't go to a single fucking party, and was fucking ostracized and treated like shit anyways. I've been a fucking good boy not defying my mother, doing University, and she fucking despises me and shit talks me in her sheboon native language to her relatives. It would damage "Muh reputation" is massive cope in my situation, because my reputation was out of the window anyways.
I am a global humiliation. My reputation is already fucking ruined anyways. If my reputation is ruined and I claim to not be afraid of death, why the fuck am I hiding? Why the fuck am I wearing a hoodie in public, not talking back to my Mom, head down, not posting videos on my Instagram because people from my old school follow me randomly and I don't want my old normie classmates to judge me?
This world is fucking shit. Society is shit. My reputation is gone forever. It was millions and millions of views, everyone at my old school, my brother's school, my University, fucking everyone. My Mom is shit talking me anyways, even if I do what she wants. So why the fuck am I scared?
I want to be like Jake Rix and Sneako.
x.com
They speak their fucking minds even if they get mocked for it.
I'm not going to hide in public, or look at the floor when the normie girl who was in my middle school walks past me, when she's probably getting fucking dicked down in University, and I'm too scared to look her in the eye because the Fitx video went viral. I'm not going to listen to my faggot Uncle or my sheboon Mom talking shit. I want to be a truth teller, I want to expose modern society. I need more attention, not less. If I try to hide, then all of the humiliation and negative attention is still there, because people will associate my name with that video. Even if it "dies down", people will still associate my name with that FitxFearless video. I want people to associate me with me. To post on social media my opinion, even if it results in fucking death or removal of job opportunities because it was already unlikely for me to get a job anyways because an employer could just do a simple 30 minute background check and see the "Here's why being an incel is ruining your life" anyways, and because incel is a buzzword, kick me out of the door. My reputation was already ruined from the day the Fitxfearless video went viral. In August. It's October. My reputation was ruined 2 months ago.
I want to expose that society is unfair, I want to expose that lookism exists, I want to expose that I did fucking work and it led to fucking nothing, I want to expose how fucking lazy normies are, I'm not going to fucking hide in public, and I want to speak what I believe is the truth, and spread it and be a content creator and truth teller. Grow on social media based off of exposing the truth of this shitty society.
"That's stupid because if you utilize free speech, then your already damaged and unsalvageable reputation will make it impossible to find a job." I care about this more than I care about financial security.
"Someone might jump you or try to kill you if you say something they don't like." My life was fucking worthless anyways. That's why I'm willing to die for a good cause.
I'm not hiding for shit. I would rather have my online footprint be me spreading truth nukes about society, and in real life, speak my fucking mind, with free speech, instead of being a good boy, putting my head down, and letting this corrupt fucking society that I hate operate without saying anything because "muh reputation" (already tarnished from the fitx vide) "muh future job" (already unlikely I was going to get one.)
I don't want to be an obedient slave, I don't want to hide or cower in fear, I want to tell the truth about this shitty society, not try to have a "clean digital footprint" that's regulated by this clown world globohomo fucking society. I want to have free speech and speak my mind.
This isn't me trying to act cool or edgy, because I know objectively this is a stupid decision, this is just what I believe I should do.
Why am I telling you this? Because you as incels, are the only few who experience the unfairness of this bullshit society. I relate to you more than the normies I fucking hate. My last post I said "Fuck being a normie." "I'm not going to try to act "normal."
I would rather be humiliated and laughed at by being the crazy guy who talks nonsense on his social media page, then humiliated for putting my head down, hiding and doing what everyone else tells me to do.
I feel a lot of hate. It's very likely that my Mom doesn't give a shit about me and she's playing a persona. I'm being finessed by my fucking Mom. Because on some days, she'll say give me a hug and show me some grade I got in grade 3 or try to give me an inspirational message, but my Dad did the same thing to my sister before he said he never wanted to see her again, and threatened her physically.
My Mom doesn't give a flipping fuck about me. I hate the fucking sheboon language she speaks in. She's mocking me. When I set an alarm to wake up at 4 am, she says "tsk." When I was fully redpilled a year ago and on the self improvement train, she didn't support me. When I was getting good grades, she said I was "selfish" for "studying too much." Bunch of bullshit. I realize now, both my parents don't give a fuck about me. Neither my Dad who I can't legally see, or my Mom who pretends to care about me.
The FitxFearless video. You're probably annoyed because I've talked about it a thousand times, but if you really analyse it, the video was funny, but the situation isn't. Before I was blackpilled, I was fully redpilled. I studied until 2 am some nights because I wanted to maintain good grades in hard classes. I followed Hamza, Andrew Tate, before I reset my channel, I would record shitty videos after doing 100 push ups. I did all of that fucking work, but because I'm ugly, it meant fucking jackshit. My brother fucking plays video games all day, fucking Roblox, Snapchat, whilst I used to be hyper-obsessed over self improvement and would do extreme things like "quit music" and take cold showers at 5 am because I was a dumbass. I had genuine body dsmorphia. I was on the fucking suicide hotline, texting it multiple times a day. I couldn't look myself in the Mirror. I would pull my ears back, put my 2 fingers over my nose, imagining how much better I would look after plastic surgery. I listened to some dickheads in the Fitxfearless discord server to go on call, told a fake story, I was fucking 17 when the call happened, and I was raised a Muslim. If I was raised a fucking Muslim and I just graduated High School, and my overbearing sheboon Mom is controlling as fuck, obviously I would never approach a woman with that context. Because my whole life, my Mom and Islam told me to not talk to girls, I was bullied in middle school, and I was isolated in High School, only focusing on grades.
I did self improvement, it meant fucking jackshit, because I was publicly humiliated for the entire fucking world to see, based on context that made me look worse. My brother is fucking lazy as shit, my Mother is fucking controlling and sheboon, my Father is fucking non-existent.
The video with the cuts and everything is edited for humour. But the actual uncut livestream is brutal. It only amplifies the things I did being for nothing
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HF2ufiTBjM0
Timestamp 39:11 (go to 45:25)
"Have a good day man. Have a good day. This shit is fucking pathetic. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Unbelievable."
The situation isn't funny at all. The cut up and edited video is funny objectively, but the actual situation I'm in. Everyone in my fucking University, all of my old classmates mocking me, the work I put in being for nothing. And if you don't believe me, which proves my point, then go look at my Instagram and see the physique pictures with no gym equipment, just bodyweight. Go look up my old threads in r/disciplined. I used to be active in Hamza's Skool community Adonis Gang. It all meant fucking nothing. I tried improving my social skills, I tried talking to people, I consumed Andrew Tate and Tristan Tate's guides on Social Skills, I used to watch fucking Hamza guides, it meant fucking nothing.
My life was a fucking joke since I was a child. I've gotten mockery on youtube comments, discord comments, reddit, in real life. People calling me a pussy in my own server, and since I'm so used to it, I don't even get mad at the fact someone casually calls me a pussy. "You're not welcome here." "Get the fuck out of here." "cringe" "Autism" "Loser" Snickers, laughter. Over and fucking over. The 32 year old discord mod in the Fitx server who told me to get the fuck out of the server, around a couple weeks later, in late August when the video was still booming and I was getting mockery and hate comments everyday, I said in my server, I'm suicidal, I feel urges, then I rejoin the FitxFearless discord on an alt in early september because I was curious if they were talking about me, and someone I was friended with said in the Fitx server "Cheese said he's going to kill himself (my old discord name and name even here was MHCheese454 so people called me Cheese) the mod was saying "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I don't feel bad for him.", maybe I'm a faggot for this, but I basically ran out of the lecture hall I was in on the verge of tears and hyperventilating, and ran to another building, calmed down, then went back into the lecture hall. That was a month ago, it doesn't matter now, it's just some stupid discord message but it just reinforced the belief in my head that people would probably be happier if I wasn't here.
What's the point of this vent? The work I did was for nothing. I probably full on hate my family. I've been considered a joke for my entire life. The fitxfearless clips are going more viral. People are making reaction videos.
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNIU0wcsI6M
The point of this vent is the title. I don't want to hide anymore. I mean that in a literal sense.
People here said it was cringe when I went on "melodramatic monologues" on how I don't care about dying, acting like an anime character. The reason I talk about death is because I believe it will be worth it to die for something like this.
That "something like this" refers to not hiding, the ability to speak my mind and be a "truth teller." It's not an unrealistic scenario. There has been cases of people jumped, killed, thrown in jail, assaulted, for expressing their opinion. I'm an ugly male. People despise ugly men. If I as an ugly male, speak an uncontroversial opinion that people don't like, and someone jumps me, then things like death and violence are possible realities.
The last straw was reputation. I've been a fucking good boy for my whole life, I stayed in School, studied for my classes, didn't do drugs, didn't smoke, didn't go to a single fucking party, and was fucking ostracized and treated like shit anyways. I've been a fucking good boy not defying my mother, doing University, and she fucking despises me and shit talks me in her sheboon native language to her relatives. It would damage "Muh reputation" is massive cope in my situation, because my reputation was out of the window anyways.
I am a global humiliation. My reputation is already fucking ruined anyways. If my reputation is ruined and I claim to not be afraid of death, why the fuck am I hiding? Why the fuck am I wearing a hoodie in public, not talking back to my Mom, head down, not posting videos on my Instagram because people from my old school follow me randomly and I don't want my old normie classmates to judge me?
This world is fucking shit. Society is shit. My reputation is gone forever. It was millions and millions of views, everyone at my old school, my brother's school, my University, fucking everyone. My Mom is shit talking me anyways, even if I do what she wants. So why the fuck am I scared?
I want to be like Jake Rix and Sneako.
x.com
x.com
They speak their fucking minds even if they get mocked for it.
I'm not going to hide in public, or look at the floor when the normie girl who was in my middle school walks past me, when she's probably getting fucking dicked down in University, and I'm too scared to look her in the eye because the Fitx video went viral. I'm not going to listen to my faggot Uncle or my sheboon Mom talking shit. I want to be a truth teller, I want to expose modern society. I need more attention, not less. If I try to hide, then all of the humiliation and negative attention is still there, because people will associate my name with that video. Even if it "dies down", people will still associate my name with that FitxFearless video. I want people to associate me with me. To post on social media my opinion, even if it results in fucking death or removal of job opportunities because it was already unlikely for me to get a job anyways because an employer could just do a simple 30 minute background check and see the "Here's why being an incel is ruining your life" anyways, and because incel is a buzzword, kick me out of the door. My reputation was already ruined from the day the Fitxfearless video went viral. In August. It's October. My reputation was ruined 2 months ago.
I want to expose that society is unfair, I want to expose that lookism exists, I want to expose that I did fucking work and it led to fucking nothing, I want to expose how fucking lazy normies are, I'm not going to fucking hide in public, and I want to speak what I believe is the truth, and spread it and be a content creator and truth teller. Grow on social media based off of exposing the truth of this shitty society.
"That's stupid because if you utilize free speech, then your already damaged and unsalvageable reputation will make it impossible to find a job." I care about this more than I care about financial security.
"Someone might jump you or try to kill you if you say something they don't like." My life was fucking worthless anyways. That's why I'm willing to die for a good cause.
I'm not hiding for shit. I would rather have my online footprint be me spreading truth nukes about society, and in real life, speak my fucking mind, with free speech, instead of being a good boy, putting my head down, and letting this corrupt fucking society that I hate operate without saying anything because "muh reputation" (already tarnished from the fitx vide) "muh future job" (already unlikely I was going to get one.)
I don't want to be an obedient slave, I don't want to hide or cower in fear, I want to tell the truth about this shitty society, not try to have a "clean digital footprint" that's regulated by this clown world globohomo fucking society. I want to have free speech and speak my mind.
This isn't me trying to act cool or edgy, because I know objectively this is a stupid decision, this is just what I believe I should do.
Why am I telling you this? Because you as incels, are the only few who experience the unfairness of this bullshit society. I relate to you more than the normies I fucking hate. My last post I said "Fuck being a normie." "I'm not going to try to act "normal."
I would rather be humiliated and laughed at by being the crazy guy who talks nonsense on his social media page, then humiliated for putting my head down, hiding and doing what everyone else tells me to do.
