Suggesting that a person's ability to express a desire to watch a niche anime movie is somehow indicative of social skills, while extending this notion all the way into workplace competence, is hilarious. Especially given the familial context where you're not in a foreign environment with complete strangers. This would only track well if you were going to be paid to expressive your interest in anime to family members, JFL. He was chomping at the bit for you do something even remotely NT while ignoring the other million counterexamples. But what are you going to do.
That’s exactly what I thought too. The first thing I asked myself was “how was he able to so readily ignore everything I had ever experienced in the past after just one meaningless conversation?” A conversation that, incidentally, mostly consisted of me periodically chiming in throughout the movie about how In the hands of anyone—and I mean
ANYONE—else, this film would be a downright nauseating train wreck of incomprehensible spinning and flashing to a seizure inducing degree, but in the hands of Hiroyuki Imaishi its both a barrage of some of the most engaging animated visual art I’ve yet to witness in my entire life and a striking statement of ambitious cinema which will surely go down in the history of the medium as a revolutionary step forward of the potential of CG animation, all the while he and my mom fell asleep during the first 20 minutes of the film…
The thing is though, I'm sure he has to be at least a little bit aware that during my school years, I was anything but socially competent because my mom must have told him at some point during their seven year relationship that I’ve been bullied, called names, mocked, laughed at, literally spit on, etc. I mean, those were the most brutal years of my life. The period of my life that made me realize there was nothing for me in the outside world and so I wanted nothing to do with it. I’m not trying to throw a pity party for myself or anything, but I never really understood why people tell me there's nothing wrong with me when all you have to do is simply look at me to know I'm not a normie, or so I thought.
My therapist said I was completely normal despite me basically telling her I’ve been a worthless, cripplingly depressed, utterly social anxiety ridden NEET with literally zero friends or motivation in life to even learn how to cook properly for the past 3 years. When I told my mom that even my therapist doesn’t understand what I’m going through (how hilariously ironic is that?), she said that people can’t comprehend how difficult life is for me, and she's right. However, for the same reason, I think you can't really hold them responsible for misjudging us. Because life has been so easy for them compared to us, not even the most self-professed "empathetic" and "emotionally intelligent" normies can truly put themselves in our shoes.
Growing up in an environment as uninviting as the Bronx in the 90’s, my mom's boyfriend was frequently involved in fights and confrontations, and certainly was not treated the best by his dad. He was apparently physically abused by him, which is what my mom said. This sounds really bad, but if you ask me, it made him into a hardened and high T Guts type nigga with unaddressed trauma, so it makes sense that mental illness doesn't really exist to him and that all you need to do is "man up." As deeply pessimistic as I am, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to their opinions of me because they simply do not know any better, or even care to. I think that his stance regarding my current NEET status is predicated more on genuine ignorance rather than negation, mostly as a result of being my dad’s age.
I hope this quest for autonomy goes well. It will be a laborious one.
thx zettabhai
I'm seriously not looking forward to it, but I'm going to try my hardest this time.