ive basically been in "willing" solitude for nearly 3 years now , and although im still in education and live with my family i have pretty much stayed with myself and have close to minimal interaction with those around me .
as for friends i have none , and although not so long ago i had distanced myself from individuals who might have wanted to form one with me i have burned those bridges,in a subtle manner (im not complaining) the reason being that i have never truly felt connected with anyone , i also feel like dead weight when i am with people so i dont see why i should be a burden for others and thus id rather be alone not to mention that i become the laughing stock wherever i go .
the only individuals who i share some more notable "connections" with have all been online, and knowing that they will never manifest irl i have no hope for them to last .
i cant explain it but ive been really alone for the past 3 years rn (haven't left the house besides for school or groceries ).
i dont mind the solitude nor am i here to complain about >"muh loneliness ", but i feel like a wandering stranger who will leave this world without any marks not that i want to leave any, but it would be nice)
i dont think that 99 percent of people , no foids but maybe some men could handle this solitude of mine .
but with all this free time on my hands , there is one clear benefit: more time for contemplation , and upon further examination of my past self i came to the full realization that i was truly always alone , and that any "connections" i had wit people were as fragile and meaningless like a spiders web .
truth of the matter is that most of you here are close to my place, its just that you don't realize it.
i would be content if i had to live my life all by myself if that is what god has decreed for me , but i wish that i could meet someone who i could have a meaningful friendship with (no females) , i wish that i could have a strong bond with another male , like that of comrades but even that is too much to ask for . and not to forget my parents dont give af about me staying home 24/7 since all they care about is me studymaxxing since "thats all thats important rn and i will be able to catch up with others after that"
the only meaningful thing that i do look forward to is praying my 5 daily prayers as a muslims
tldr; if youre able to seclude yourself from others easily , its because you had no real meaningful relationships to begin with .
My life has amounted to nothing and nor will it amount to anything
as for friends i have none , and although not so long ago i had distanced myself from individuals who might have wanted to form one with me i have burned those bridges,in a subtle manner (im not complaining) the reason being that i have never truly felt connected with anyone , i also feel like dead weight when i am with people so i dont see why i should be a burden for others and thus id rather be alone not to mention that i become the laughing stock wherever i go .
the only individuals who i share some more notable "connections" with have all been online, and knowing that they will never manifest irl i have no hope for them to last .
i cant explain it but ive been really alone for the past 3 years rn (haven't left the house besides for school or groceries ).
i dont mind the solitude nor am i here to complain about >"muh loneliness ", but i feel like a wandering stranger who will leave this world without any marks not that i want to leave any, but it would be nice)
i dont think that 99 percent of people , no foids but maybe some men could handle this solitude of mine .
but with all this free time on my hands , there is one clear benefit: more time for contemplation , and upon further examination of my past self i came to the full realization that i was truly always alone , and that any "connections" i had wit people were as fragile and meaningless like a spiders web .
truth of the matter is that most of you here are close to my place, its just that you don't realize it.
i would be content if i had to live my life all by myself if that is what god has decreed for me , but i wish that i could meet someone who i could have a meaningful friendship with (no females) , i wish that i could have a strong bond with another male , like that of comrades but even that is too much to ask for . and not to forget my parents dont give af about me staying home 24/7 since all they care about is me studymaxxing since "thats all thats important rn and i will be able to catch up with others after that"
the only meaningful thing that i do look forward to is praying my 5 daily prayers as a muslims
tldr; if youre able to seclude yourself from others easily , its because you had no real meaningful relationships to begin with .
My life has amounted to nothing and nor will it amount to anything
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