Welcome to Incels.is - Involuntary Celibate Forum

Welcome! This is a forum for involuntary celibates: people who lack a significant other. Are you lonely and wish you had someone in your life? You're not alone! Join our forum and talk to people just like you.

If you grow up in bad conditions and you don't develop socially, its beyond over

Mecoja

Mecoja

I'm done with everything
★★★★★
Joined
Aug 28, 2020
Posts
31,202
Even if you're born mentally healthy and NT, bad parenting and growing up in abusive home, you become mentally ill and damaged for life, unable to socialize with anyone.

What is the problem behind the lack of social skills in young children? It’s a question that parents are asking. And why wouldn’t they? Think about it. If a child cannot make friends, plays alone, and doesn’t seem to notice or mind, this profoundly impacts their lives. They’re likely to struggle with social anxiety and other psychological problems later on in life. While various factors contribute to this problem, parents profoundly teach their children to interact with people appropriately. This blog will provide parents with seven stevens to help their child who’s lacking social skills [1].
Early childhood experiences can shape a person’s lifelong health and learning so it is crucial for young children to have as much stability as possible. An unstable environment can have a profound impact on a child’s feelings of security and their eventual transformation into an adult.
a study found that depriving children of a loving environment can cause them to have lower IQs and even stunted growth leading to a shorter stature. They also tended to have more behavioral and psychological problems than children that came from a more loving home.
Mental illnesses and problems can be created during developing years and last lifelong.

The lack of social skills can lead to difficulties with relationships, depression, anxiety, and a shared sense of belonging. As such, lack of social skills in young people is a matter of concern in the same way as any other developmental delay that could have negative consequences later on. The most common social skills problems in children are a result of one of the following:

  1. Shyness
Many children are naturally shy and need help to get along with others. Nervous children will often be quiet and won’t engage in group activities. They also tend to trust adults more than other kids their age because they haven’t had much exposure to them.
I was always shy because I knew as poor low status ethnic my worth is less.

  1. Fear of getting in trouble
Some kids are afraid of doing the wrong thing, so they never make any decisions for themselves and try not to stand out from the crowd.
My dad was always angry and abusive so I was always in fear. He would threaten to kill us in our sleep and chase us with a broom for every mistake. He threatened to throw us out of house.

  1. Bullying
Bullies have no problem making decisions for others because they like to control them and make them feel bad about themselves. They’ll often pick on younger kids or kids who are shy or less popular with their peers
I was bullied throughout the entire school time. I never had school equipment and books and always in old clothes, because my parents considered those a luxury and you were spoiled if you asked for them.

  1. Family environment
Children who grow up in families where there’s a lot of fighting or tension around them may be less likely to develop good social skills. If a child perceives that their parents have problems interacting with each other, they’re more likely to have problems themselves.


In my home it was always tense hostile atmosphere, my dad was always angry, yelling at us for no reason even if we played or laughed, we weren't allowed to do anything and go anywhere, we weren't allowed to own anything. We also were dirt poor. I still start to shake and my heart to beat fast and my guts to sunk in if someone fights or yells in my presence.

Situation like that was since birth but when I was 9-10 my dad got stroke and decided he hates his life and its our fault, so that we should suffer more than him, and up until my mid twenties he did everything in his power to make our lives miserable. How can someone experience all that and stay sane? Not being able to even be in same room with strangers and getting anxiety attacks if you have to talk to someone, so you avoid it by all means necessary, how can someone like that make friends or much less getting a girlfriend?

You solve problems when they happen, when you're already corruptly formatted person there's nothing you can do about it, you can only drug yourself with meds and rot as zombie. Its beyond over.




 
Last edited:
It permanently fucks your brain up as the developing mind takes a coping path to protect itself :fuk:
 
Brutal as fuck, tbh, I have the same situation. I'm NT but becoming friendless and having little social interactions with basically anyone + 0 exposure to any important experiences fucked me, if you're subhuman on top of that trying to pass yourself as "extroverted" gets brutally difficult. If I was in your situation I would've pulled the life support plug on your dad as soon as I turned 18/sent him to the streets, fuck him. :lasereyes:
 
Brutal as fuck, tbh, I have the same situation. I'm NT but becoming friendless and having little social interactions with basically anyone + 0 exposure to any important experiences fucked me, if you're subhuman on top of that trying to pass yourself as "extroverted" gets brutally difficult. If I was in your situation I would've pulled the life support plug on your dad as soon as I turned 18/sent him to the streets, fuck him. :lasereyes:
That was my point that I wanted to say, you don't have to be born with autism and similar to end up socially stunted.
 
Brutal post there. Funny how my mother always tries to make me into this extroverted person, while we were collecting bottles from the streets and plastic. This is just one example of my childhood i could go on forever, absolutely brutal :cryfeels:
 
Brutal post there. Funny how my mother always tries to make me into this extroverted person, while we were collecting bottles from the streets and plastic. This is just one example of my childhood i could go on forever, absolutely brutal :cryfeels:
Yeah, jfl at people saying to work on your confidence when you grow up seeing how everyone are living better than you and are worth more than you, its all fucked up.
 
I would be normal if i was being able to fuck at 15-16.
 
It never began for non-whites
 
story of my life. then i showed up to uni bleeding all over the place from lack of socialization and they yelled at me for bleeding on them.
 
@nice_try muh book will help me undo a lifetime of damage lmao
 
Even if you're born mentally healthy and NT

254-png.711944


...

51s4+YQ4c5L._AC_UF1000,1000_QL80_.jpg
 
Same brocel. I also suffered from a dysfunctional family. Shitty father was always mad and i had to walk on eggshells to not tip him off. Making my a shy bastard and scared of evertyhing. Nowadays those stains i still carry, interactions are hard as fuck and the only way to cope is videogames or anime.

To this day i attribute my large distaste of humans to my family, thanks to them i learned that humans are trash and should not be approached
 
Same brocel. I also suffered from a dysfunctional family. Shitty father was always mad and i had to walk on eggshells to not tip him off. Making my a shy bastard and scared of evertyhing. Nowadays those stains i still carry, interactions are hard as fuck and the only way to cope is videogames or anime.

To this day i attribute my large distaste of humans to my family, thanks to them i learned that humans are trash and should not be approached
Situation like that makes you high inhib and non confrontational, evading everything that scares or makes you uncomfortable, only way is to cope by escapism.
 
Situation like that makes you high inhib and non confrontational, evading everything that scares or makes you uncomfortable, only way is to cope by escapism.
Right. Just yesterday i was thinking why i was like this, always afraid and trying to not have altercations with people. I always get uncomfortable as hell when something tense happens, and seeing your post made me remember all those shitty circusmtances i faced as a child. It makes one wonder what we would be like had we had a normal environment while we grew up.

It's not a wonder i'm 24/7 in the computer and dread social interactions. How the fuck you solve something that happened in your development years? At the end of the day we are the result of a shitty enviroment while we grew up, looks or not we were mostly fucked by our environment.
 
@nice_try muh book will help me undo a lifetime of damage lmao
Shooting yourself in the head with a shotgun will undo a lifetime of damage you fucking retard, maybe try that, so you don't have to keep living your miserable life where you get approached by girls who want to fuck you every weekend but you're just too retarded to close them.
 
Shooting yourself in the head with a shotgun will undo a lifetime of damage you fucking retard, maybe try that, so you don't have to keep living your miserable life where you get approached by girls who want to fuck you every weekend but you're just too retarded to close them.
You're as emotional as a pregnant 16 year old girl. The facts are all out there. My situation is basically as bad as being ugly. I can assure you I was made fun of for the way I look growing up a lot more than you too.
 
Right. Just yesterday i was thinking why i was like this, always afraid and trying to not have altercations with people. I always get uncomfortable as hell when something tense happens, and seeing your post made me remember all those shitty circusmtances i faced as a child. It makes one wonder what we would be like had we had a normal environment while we grew up.

It's not a wonder i'm 24/7 in the computer and dread social interactions. How the fuck you solve something that happened in your development years? At the end of the day we are the result of a shitty enviroment while we grew up, looks or not we were mostly fucked by our environment.
All true :cryfeels:
 
You're as emotional as a pregnant 16 year old girl. The facts are all out there. My situation is basically as bad as being ugly. I can assure you I was made fun of for the way I look growing up a lot more than you too.
Based
 
@NoLooksNoLife Rice parenting
 
Brutal post. I experienced all the points you brought up. Having shitty, bad, controlling parents is a major cause of inceldom, especially during teenage years. All this really shows how important it is to socialmax as a boy. And with boomers being the narcissists they are it's no wonder there are so many incels, they practically shoved mental illness down our throats.
 
Same brocel. I also suffered from a dysfunctional family. Shitty father was always mad and i had to walk on eggshells to not tip him off. Making my a shy bastard and scared of evertyhing. Nowadays those stains i still carry, interactions are hard as fuck and the only way to cope is videogames or anime.

To this day i attribute my large distaste of humans to my family, thanks to them i learned that humans are trash and should not be approached

Ah.

Understood.

When I was in my early teens, my father would constantly denigrate my autistic traits. He would often tell me,

"Why are you so shameful all the time?" (I was anxious and kept my head down in public)

"We're going to grandma's house, hurry up!"(He wanted to make himself seem like an excellent father by showing her his son)

"You're moving so slowly"(He would hit me; I was sluggish from ASD/trauma)

"Your cousins are better than you!" (Again, anxiety and depression)

"I'm saying this to be kind. Don't anger me." (If I was struggling to go inside a store due to anxiety)

I once had Pyelonephritis and was fairly weak from it to the point of needing to stay home when my father wanted to visit a store. My father, instead of asking me if I took my prescribed antibiotics, simply told me, "Hurry up, let's go see grandma". He then asked Grandma to patronize me for my "disobedience".

Yes; my father would regularly batter Mother and break things. When angry, Mother would grab my stimming objects and shake them in my face while tightly grasping my neck.

Mother moved into a separate apartment and stayed with relatives, at times. We also had to live with my paternal grandparents.

I temporarily walked outside with my half-relatives in 2013...I stopped after I developed Pyelonephritis and realized I didn't respect them much.

Father would...sometimes stare at me stimming and start snickering.
 
How you're treated in your formative years has a big impact on later life, think of it as the potters clay, starts out a soft blob & is shaped into something by outside influence (the Potter at the wheel) then hardened, to change it after requires breaking it down & rebuilding, possible but not easy without destroying it all in the process as opposed to just part of the shape.
 
I wish my dumb, Boomer parents would just fucking die already so I can have my inheritance.
 
How you're treated in your formative years has a big impact on later life, think of it as the potters clay, starts out a soft blob & is shaped into something by outside influence (the Potter at the wheel) then hardened, to change it after requires breaking it down & rebuilding, possible but not easy without destroying it all in the process as opposed to just part of the shape.
A person probably needs good life, loving people and positive reinforcement to reverse any of it, for us incels no one cares.
 
Pride is Lost

Wings Stripped Away

End is Nigh " .

if you where a woman or semi Rich you wouldnt be here typing this . Life all comes down to Luck really.
 
Pride is Lost

Wings Stripped Away

End is Nigh " .

if you where a woman or semi Rich you wouldnt be here typing this . Life all comes down to Luck really.
You're right, if I were a foid I could've easily get married at young age for an rich guy and escape or if I were rich, with material security I could've escape far, far away, also rich people don't act the way my father did, poverty makes people angry and depressed, eating each other alive.
 
That's why teen love is the most important kind of love someone can receive in their life.
It's just one of the mandatory experiences you need to have to fully feel adult.
 
Yes, I also lived in the atmosphere of constant stress, cruelty and hostility.
Even ambulance and police arrived in our flat a few times.
While you cannot fully heal from this, I think it's possible to improve your being and social skills if you receive a support from someone during your formative years.
It's much harder to fix an adult, however.

Young pretty female offering intimacy could heal a lot of wounds, probably.
 
Yes, I also lived in the atmosphere of constant stress, cruelty and hostility.
Even ambulance and police arrived in our flat a few times.
While you cannot fully heal from this, I think it's possible to improve your being and social skills if you receive a support from someone during your formative years.
It's much harder to fix an adult, however.

Young pretty female offering intimacy could heal a lot of wounds, probably.
Thing is no one cares, ive been to social workers many times as kid, they say things like "he will calm down, it will pass" and when I complained about him wanting to throw me out of the house and not letting me sleep, making noise daily to wake me up, for years, "it's his house"
 
Thing is no one cares, ive been to social workers many times as kid, they say things like "he will calm down, it will pass" and when I complained about him wanting to throw me out of the house and not letting me sleep, making noise daily to wake me up, for years, "it's his house"
I have an impression that social work is mostly source of income for workers.
 
You're right, if I were a foid I could've easily get married at young age for an rich guy and escape or if I were rich, with material security I could've escape far, far away, also rich people don't act the way my father did, poverty makes people angry and depressed, eating each other alive.
the privileged watch , with grabs in their mouths with dressing .

while the rest shits and eats of each other.
 
I still start to shake and my heart to beat fast and my guts to sunk in if someone fights or yells in my presence.
I feel the same. This has prevented me from fighting back. I believe this is a inherited trait since my mother also has it.
 
I feel the same. This has prevented me from fighting back. I believe this is a inherited trait since my mother also has it.
IN OPPOSITION I AM GOING FULL AGGRO RAGE MODE AFTER LISTENING YELLS OF SEX HAVERS (IN VIDEO GAME)
 

Similar threads

Lv99_BixNood
Replies
10
Views
206
despisedpaul
despisedpaul
idiot_cel
Replies
3
Views
212
BlackCel_from_ZA
BlackCel_from_ZA
A
Replies
17
Views
481
Namtriz912
Namtriz912

Users who are viewing this thread

shape1
shape2
shape3
shape4
shape5
shape6
Back
Top